


Snowflake

by Featherfree_Zombie



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Complete, F/M, FrostIron - Freeform, M/M, Minor Character Death, Moral Ambiguity, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-22 06:14:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 55,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Featherfree_Zombie/pseuds/Featherfree_Zombie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beware of FrostIron! This takes places within the Avengers movie, therefore some AU should be expected.<br/>There are many ways for Loki to achieve his goal. What if he had played his cards differently? OR: Tony falls in with the wrong crowd and finds himself on the other side of the game. Suddenly good and evil are so very hard to tell apart.<br/>"Don't trust him, Anthony."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's cold out.

Things had happened.

Things, that had led to _this_ , led to him reluctantly laying down on the bed next to what had been a woman of mesmerizing beauty just moments ago, now magically shifted into the form of a tall, lean man of the most royal a posture any living entity could muster while laying flat down on one's back.

As dignified an aura as he had about him, he seemed horribly out of place, misplaced even, in this windowless room, a sort of basement and filled with the sounds and smells that came with such a locality.

The old-fashioned bed did not do much to give comfort or create any sort of atmosphere.

It was cold like the concrete walls, safe for the two bodies that lay sprawled across the soft surface, so very out of place, so very wrong.

Now, as Tony lay on his back and his head lazily rolled to the side, the others face just an arm's length away from his own reminded him of so much.

 _'Fiend, enemy',_ said the disapproving glance of one Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D and not whom you would want on your mind in a situation like the one that currently presented itself to him.

No, he had enough trouble sorting out unwanted affiliations, responsibilities, as he dared to shift to his side, one hand raised against the other mans cheek.

He did not flinch. Why ever he had expected him to, he did not know. The feeling of smooth skin under his fingertips felt forbidden, as did everything about Loki.

"Something troubles you, man of iron?"

The inquiry was accompanied by a sly smile. There lay no concern within. This was not the first time and Loki was no fool.

He knew of the pile of doubt and insecurity that was Tony Stark these days. He had to know. After all, he himself could not be much better off, could he?

The god before him knew of his inner turmoil and it mattered not, as it had not mattered before.

So all Tony had to offer was a smile that said I'm okay and both of them ignored the blatant lie they both knew to lie behind the paper-thin gesture.

Loki did not need more than this, as he closed the distance between them.

The hands that slid around him felt warm and strong, the body that pressed against his own emitted the same sort of energy that was Loki, and that gave nothing but security to the mortal at his mercy.

As his clothes were stripped off of him, oh so unceremoniously, chilly air thick with dust and mold assaulted his bare skin, made him shiver.

The body that now pressed him deep into the too soft mattress, effectively making itself the only thing existent in Tony's world, could only soften the chill.

It took some moments and the sensation of the other man's skin on his own, the friction of it as they moved together, more clumsily, than either of them would care to admit, to drive some warmth back into Tony, soon to be replaced by radiant heat, as he finally dared, as if on an unspoken cue, to start using his own set of hands, exploring that godly creature looming above him and he wondered, definitely not for the first time, why the hell this was not near as threatening, as his mind screamed it damn well should be.

He waved it aside and spread his legs to an insistent knee instead.

He did not mind his head falling back, his throat exposed to the eager mouth of Loki.

He did not care to question the sounds of pleasure the other man drew from his lips with the grinding together of their hips in a painfully antagonizing rhythm that soon turned his moans to sounds of frustrated demand and want.

And he certainly was beyond being affronted by the hand, that had stealthily found its way underneath him and now hastily prepared him with quick movements of his skillful fingers, slick with magic, making him squirm under the intimate touch.

When he was entered he heard a held breath softly released beside his ear and wondered how long it had been held, he hadn't noticed.

Then he stopped caring about that as well and decided he'd rather care to wrap his legs around a slim waist, savouring the intensified pleasure of being filled utterly and completely. Mind and soul along with his body, one might add, completed.

Loki waited, as he had in their previous encounters at just that point, until Tony gave him the okay, a light squeeze on the shoulders he was holding on to, accompanied by a faint nod and a deep glance in those pale blues, that bore into his soul from above.

Then that moment was gone as well, gone with the wind, as the god began moving inside of him, tentatively, seeking the right angle, finding it, exploiting this.

Tony soon felt himself come undone. The sweet nothingness of heated skin, slow, grinding motions and the undescribable sensation of Lokis cock moving inside of him, harder and faster, than it had at the beginning, rendered him helpless.

It was all he could do to hold on for dear life, gripping at the god's back and shoulders as if they were lifelines in a storm.

An unforgiving rhythm soon had the mortal gasping for air, all the strain and stress on his mind unraveling in sheer pleasure and blinding heat.

He heard himself moan, wondered, if he could stop if he chose to, but soon screamed the god's name instead, as his body clenched around the man above him, riding on the waves of pleasure as they came and went, leaving him a satisfied puddle, ready to seep into the mattress, were it not for the arms still holding him in place, the body moving against his and the hard piece of flesh working inside of him, still.

It was only the splinter of a moment later, that the man on top reached his peak as well, the foreign warmth of his seed felt by Tony and rewarded with an undignified whimper, as the mortal tried his best to hold his lover close, sharing the aftermath of his orgasm with him.

They lay like this, none of them knew how long.

There were no windows to hint at the time of day. The only thing they knew for sure: It was cold outside.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas, what a great day to get an AO3-Invite. Finally!
> 
> So here is my little gift to you. This story is going to be a bit longer, I will try and update daily.
> 
> The next few chapters are going to deal with the timespan before the first chapter.
> 
> I haven't written english in years, so bear with me and feel free to point out mistakes or bad writing in general, I highly appreciate any form of feedback.
> 
> Merry Christmas to you all, or whatever it is you might celebrate on this day :D
> 
> Featherfree_Zombie


	2. A Madman's Proposal

  
  
Fury said they'd break him eventually.  
  
Fury said a lot of things. Most of which Tony Stark was reluctant to believe and he usually found a reason not to, sooner or later.  
  
As he just had, once again.  
  
"What _is_ Phase 2?"  
  
The whole scene played in his head again and again. It was hours ago, yet he was still as agitated as he had been the moment they had confronted Fury.  
  
That guy would never change. A man like that, wishing to assemble earth's biggest players? Under his control and his alone?  
That could not be good.  
  
Tony did not like it. None of them did.

  
But all that mattered little. Loki was still a threat, and a great one at that. As long as there was a megalomaniac with godlike powers on the loose  they would have to work together, no matter what. And then there was Hawkeye. As little as he meant to Stark, he had to recognize the implications of him being under Loki's mind control. It was personal, for Fury and the Widow at least. It meant the guy was not afraid to provoke, he was as high profile as it gets and that made him an even more dangerous opponent.  
  
One more thing everyone had unpleasantly been made aware of was the fact, that the guy _wanted_ to be right where he was.  
Stark could think of plenty of reasons he might have. Whatever his end game was, it was not going to be pretty. They had already removed Banner from the equation. Or rather, the Hulk, as he had conveniently jumped out of the helicarrier. He was going to be alright, he always was, but there was no way in hell that he had been Loki's only chess piece, was there?  
Loki's men, that had come on board, could only have been a distraction at best. But distraction from what? The lack of Hawkeye was irritating. It had to mean something. Why not bring his best agent?  
Did he not want to be freed? Obviously not.  
They had run countless scans on the ship, looking for him. Looking for the distinct glow, they had gotten from the other possessed soldiers. Nothing.  
If he was really hadn't been part of the attack, there had to be more.  
  
It was late.  
Genius or not, hours of brainwork did not go by unnoticed and the effect caffeine had on him had been reduced to a fit of misdirected hyperactivity.  
His mind did a great job chasing thoughts, it just failed to catch any. _Round and round and round..._  
He had given up and gone to bed, yet sleep failed to come. Surprise. He did not feel safe. Megalomaniac aside, he could not bring himself to trust S.H.I.E.L.D, and being one of their harshest critics, he could not help to think, that it might just be a matter of time before Fury started seeing him as a threat to his cause.  
  
His eyes had drifted close for seconds or minutes, he couldn't tell, and his mind was on the verge of finally finding the long needed sleep, as his stomach suddenly lurched and it shook him to the core.  
He hated when that happened. With a frustrated groan he tried to shift, to shake the aftermath of that unpleasant feeling that did not seem to fade as it should.  
The unfamiliar pull on the plain tank top he was wearing, surely a remnant of the dream he had yet to enter, finally made him open his eyes.  
He blinked in confusion, as his feet found cold steel and the hand that held him let go. He stumbled, completely and utterly confused and disoriented.  
He was standing in one of those little jets S.H.I.E.L.D stole his designs for and were now so proud to call their own. He was... standing inside of this jet, as it was flying through the cold night air, and with him was the Widow, Hawkeye and Loki himself.  
Confusion and skyrocketing blood pressure left him with the only sensible reaction and he fell to his knees to throw up.  
  
"Teleportation does that to some mortals. Though I would have expected someone, that is used to flying in that awful suit of yours, to have slightly more composure than that."  
  
The familiar drawl he had learned to despise, and he knew he should fear, finally knocked some sense into his caffeinated mind and he did his best to stand up straight and look at the god, who had just finished removing the contents of Tony's stomach off of the floor with a lazy gesture and now grinned at him brightly.  
It did a bad job disguising the strain that lay behind those features and even his royal posture seemed less dignified than it had mere hours ago. He looked like shit.  
  
Tony knew he did not look much better and his change in stance reminded him of the fact that he was standing in front of the biggest threat he had faced in quite a while dressed in boxers and a tank top. Not good. Not good at all.

He wore his bracelets of course. Prototype that they were, he still refused to sleep without them. Problem was, the suit was miles away by now. He was helpless. He was so screwed. And the Black Widow seemed to have been reduced to, what did Loki call it, a _mewling quim_ , at the sight of the possessed Hawkeye. The lack of soul evident by the faint glow that glazed his eyes and the complete loss of emotion in his features.  
Even Tony could not help but shiver at the sight.  
  
"Oh, don't mind him. I do not plan on creating any more of... _those_."  
  
He frowned at his creation with distaste.  
  
"They are useful, but... I find them lacking in quite a few qualities, that would make a good ally. I don't care for minions, at this point."  
  
Tony could see the strain on the Widow's face. All her training, all she had every learned in her life, gone. Obliterated by the zombie before them and she struggled to keep her composure. Her failure in doing so all too obvious before the pale eyes of the liesmith himself.  
  
"Free him.", she all but whispered and it pained her to do so. To beg for his life as she had refused to before. But before, he had not stood before her with empty eyes. And she knew those eyes.  
  
Loki smiled, sweetly, and it was the creepiest thing Tony had ever seen.  
  
"I will. As a sign of my goodwill."  
  
He lifted his scepter and drew something from his minions chest, some sort of energy.  
The blue glaze was lifted from his eyes and he drew in a breath, as if he had not done so in weeks. And like a man at the verge of drowning, he fell to the floor.  
The Widow was there to catch him, but her eyes did not leave the god for one second.  
  
"Goodwill.", she said, "You spoke of a sign of goodwill. What do you want with us?"  
  
Tony felt the need to say something, to contribute to the situation. But all words had left him and though for once in his life, he did not want to draw the attention to himself, he edged closer to the other two and sat down on the cold metal bench at the side of the jet. Hawkeye was unconscious, but otherwise healthy, as the Widow let him know with a relieved smile.  
Loki laughed, a hollow sound that failed to fill the room and faded quickly.  
Then he did something that surprised them all, he sat down on the floor in front of them, legs crossed and his scepter laid beside him, almost casually.  
For seconds that seemed like hours they stared at him. He gaze wandered, oblivious to the stares, and all that was heard was the sound of their breathing.  
  
"Well, this is awkward."  
  
Tony was never one to allow silence to take foot for too long.  
Loki's head snapped in his direction, as if he had forgotten all about them, and he smiled wickedly.  
  
"I would have taken you for a man that prefers to sleep unclothed. Think, how awkward that would have been."  
  
Did the God of Chaos just try to break the ice?  
  
"These days, I think I should be a man, that sleeps in his armor. That is really uncomfortable, though. Believe me, I have tried. And I wasn't even sober that time."  
  
"If it helps our conversation, I would at least grant you clothes then."  
  
Another subtle gesture and Tony found himself wearing his usual, slacks and a band shirt. Deep Purple, as he noticed with a smile. Nice.  
  
"Another sign of goodwill? Appreciated. Though I would really love to know, what a guy like you needs it for. You already have the Tesseract."  
  
The last sentence earned him another laugh, it did not sound as amused as the god had intended it to and he frowned as he shook his head.  
  
"The Tesseract does not concern you. Your S.H.I.E.L.D was meddling in affairs, they know nothing of. They could never hope to understand it, let alone use it in any way. You saw what they did?"  
  
The low chuckle did sound like genuine amusement.  
  
"They managed to blow up their entire base and blame it on me."  
  
Rage flashed in his eyes and he willed it away and lowered his head.  
  
"You need not concern yourself with the Tesseract. It is in my hands and I intend to keep it that way. War is coming. That is what should trouble you."  
  
"War?", the Widow inquired.  
  
"I have an army, I made a pact to get it and I find myself unwilling to uphold my end of the bargain. Now they are coming, and I want them gone. As do you. Or at least you should, if you would like your precious earth unharmed. Your leader would rather chase after power he cannot hope to control. Do not let him."  
  
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. That was too much information and his mind had severe trouble drawing conclusion.  
  
"So you brought us here to warn us."  
  
It was not a question.  
  
"That was part of my intention, yes."  
  
"The other part being..?"  
Widow.  
  
Loki looked her over, brow furrowed.  
  
"The other part was... to propose something. An alliance."  
  
A few seconds passed in silence, before Tony's laughter broke it abruptly.  
  
"You killed people. We don't like that. What makes you think that we would just cast aside everything-"  
  
"I did not expect you to!"  
  
His voice was raised, intimidating, coming from a god and Tony fell silent in an instant. Then Loki's shoulders slumped and he drew in a shaky breath. Even raising his voice took more from him, than he had, as it seems, and he contented with fixating his eerie glare on the man before him.  
  
"An alliance."  
  
He continued, quietly.  
  
"I do intend to stay on this realm, for I cannot return to my own."  
  
He frowned in irritation.  
  
"Either of them. I have heard of those so-called villains you have here. One more foolish than the other. Even the ones that claim the title of genius are complete and utter morons in my eyes. I do not wish to be in league with these... creatures. I have watched you, and I know what this one..", he pointed at the still unconscious Hawkeye, ".. knew of you. You are intelligent, not bound by moral and their standards and I do believe you are capable of making your own decisions. So,..."  
  
He looked at Tony, who was currently trying his best to control a laughing fit.  
  
"You..."  
  
The attempt at speech was swallowed by an undignified giggle and he took a deep breath, fingers a death lock on his knees.  
  
"You. You want us to be your... Team? Your... what should we call ourselves? Widow? How about.. Revengers! Or Retaliators! Avengers of the dispossessed!"  
  
She did not seem to be amused by that or the situation in general.  
Loki was positively confused. And annoyed.  
  
"I do not understand."  
  
He ran his fingers through stringy, dark hair and let his head rest on his hand in a gesture of complete and utter exhaustion.  
  
"And quite frankly, I don't want to. I do not require an answer right at this moment. All I need you to do is deliver my message. Chitauri are coming, my- Thor will know."  
  
Tony bit back a comment about possessive demigods.  
  
"Also, please have an eye on your leader. He is rash and impulsive and has no idea what he is up against. Do _not_ let him do anything foolish."  
  
He craned his head slightly to face the minion flying the jet.  
  
"Land. Do not let anyone see us."  
  
The man did as he was told and they touched down soon after.  
Another one of his men opened the airlock and let them out.  
Loki did not stand up to see them out.  
The tingling sensation of the shadow of a knife in his back would not leave Tony, as he and Widow left, dragging an unconscious archer in between them.  
It was not until they heard the hum of the cloaked jet slowly disappearing into the night sky, that they let themselves fall to the ground and breathed freely and relaxed.  
  
"I thought I was done for.", Tony admitted.  
  
"You certainly handled it with humor."  
  
The Widow did not seem amused by his earlier behavior.  
  
"Oh, oh.. that was caffeine talking. Caffeine, a lack of sleep and most probably shock. Definetely in shock. We should call- ... someone."  
  
"S.H.I.E.L.D might be a good idea. We should go find a phone."  
  
They had been dropped of in what seemed to be a corn field, though lights could be seen not too far away.  
  
"Alright..", Tony sighed, defeated, "I'll go, you stay with Pinkeye here."  
  
She nodded in acceptance, a silent thank you in form of a smile on her lips.  
  
It didn't take S.H.I.E.L.D long to find them, as they were already tracking a signal coming from a Biochip in Natasha's left foot, which seriously creeped Tony out. 'Why the hell would you let them tag you?!'  
The jet was of the same design as the one Loki had stolen. It did not put them off for long, as Thor all but stumbled out of the vehicle as it opened, a beaming smile plastered on his face.  
  
"Man of Iron, Lady Romanov! You are well!"  
  
"Yup, alive and kicking."  
  
Tony let the god help him to his feet anyway and soon they were sitting in the jet, on their way back to the helicarrier. Tony could not shake the gut feeling, that something was not right with this picture.


	3. Reindeer Game's Revenge

  
Back in the helicarrier they all sat together on the bridge, debriefing. They told Fury about Chitauri coming to wage a war and of Loki, not wanting them to win. There was a lot of screaming involved, especially Thor seemed upset at his brothers liaison with those creatures. A cruel, merciless race of warrior's, relentless in battle and always ready to exploit the smallest weakness, in foes or allies alike.  
  
He shouted out the window at some point, obviously directed at his brother, wherever he might be.  
His rage did not cloak hurt and worry at his brothers actions.  
  
After a while he calmed down, went back to the table and sat with them, a defeated look to his eyes.  
  
"That pact is his death sentence. If he means to cross them, he will not live."  
  
The words were spoken softly, more to himself than to anyone else in this room.  
Tony could not help but feel sorry for the guy.  
  
"If he is their ally, maybe he knows some of their weaknesses? He said he would help us defeat them."  
  
Thor threw him a look, that he would usually have received from Tony.  
  
"Did you not listen to me? They have no weakness. If they want to find him, they will. And no prison will be impregnable to them. Even I cannot protect him, if-"  
  
His voice broke a little and he lowered his head, drew a shaky breath and struggled to go on.  
  
"It is his death sentence. I could not bear losing him a second time. I thought him lost, when he fell."  
  
Everything was silent, a show of respect for Thor's sorrow, it seemed.  
  
"How many times can one mourn a brother's death?"  
  
Again, the words were answered with silence.  
  
"Deer Purple.", said Hawkeye, as he sat down with them and faced Tony.  
  
He still looked like shit, being poked and probed at, having countless blood samples and a short psyche exam taken did not help his state. But at least everyone agreed, that he was Loki-free at the moment.  
  
"What...?", Tony replied lazily, the only thing he really wanted was sleep. Even the caffeine-induced high was gone and it left him struggling to keep his eyes opened, let alone use his brain in a matter that lived up to the expectations usually thrown his way.  
  
"That's what it says. On your shirt. You hadn't noticed?"  
  
Well. Now he did.  
This shirt was one of his favourites, one glance at colour, design and wording was enough to recognize it, why bother checking it for... inconsistencies. But there it was. DEER PURPLE.  
Not only that, but looking more closely, Tony found the distinct shape of Loki's horned helmet woven into the intricate pattern in the background.  
  
"That son of a-..."  
  
Tony wanted to be angry, but the irritation in his voice did not quite reach his mind and he chuckled at the image on his chest.  
  
"That's his revenge for reindeer games, I guess."  
  
Thor smiled sadly, pictures of the past all too evident in his head.  
  
"It seems he is still the Trickster I have known."  
  
The rest of it left unsaid. But all of them knew, he had just gotten a piece of his brother back, knowing, he would lose it again, too soon.  
  
"So, if all of you are done discussing that villain's little jokes, we could move on to more pressing matters?  
  
Fury looked them over in his usual intensity laced with annoyance. Tony half expected him to jump up and flip the table any moment. And that was one big table.  
  
"Loki wanted you two,", he pointed accusing fingers at them, ".. to be his allies. He did not happen to mention a way of contacting him now, did he?"  
  
"I think he actually meant the three of us.", the Widow threw Clint an apologetic glance, as she saw him squirm, obviously uncomfortable with the mere thought of the god that had taken his mind, twisted it, raped it. And none of them felt like laughing about some reindeer joke anymore.  
  
Tony tried to shake the tension, that had him in a death grip. This was surreal. A meeting like this should be either fun or crisis. Not both combined.  
  
"He did not, by the way. We don't know where he is and he had said nothing about contacting us. All he said was that we don't have to decide now. So. He will probably snatch us away again at some point."  
  
He had to admit to himself, how disturbing that was. A man like him did not like to be helpless.  
  
Fury looked them both over. Tony knew he didn't believe a word he said, but he trusted the Widow. Suddenly he was so very glad, that she had been there. Had he been alone and without someone to back his story, who knew what Fury would have done to him.  
It left him more insecure of his position, than he already was.  
He needed sleep, badly.  
  
"I need sleep, badly."  
  
And as everyone turned their heads to look at him, they could not disagree and so he stood and left.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Alone in his room, in silence.  
He knew Fury was most likely watching him.  
He did not care. Whatever Tony found, Fury would know soon after anyway.  
  
He had taken his shirt off and checked it for further... anomalies.  
And anomalies he found.  
That was dumb. That was obvious, and it could only be a trap, could it not?  
An unusual percentage of cotton, made in New York, and even a street name. That was just too.. was Loki that done for, that he didn't even bother veiling the message?  
As much as he would like to flatter himself, it did not take a genius to figure this out.  
He groaned in frustration and headed back to the bridge, already contacting everyone over the comm to join him.  
  
And there they were again.  
  
"So, we have an address now. It is in New York. Some old warehouse, actually. What do we do with this."  
  
He just wanted this to be over, and fast.  
  
"He wants an ally? We give him one.", was Fury's obvious answer and he looked at the Widow.  
  
Of course, who else.  
  
Natasha did not seem surprised, but she did not seem too eager to take this job either.  
  
"Bad idea.", Tony said, before his brain walked in to join their conversation.  
  
Again, all eyes on the genius.  
  
"Well..", he tried to elaborate, "While he does recognize her intellect and would want her on his team, she did trick him. I do not think he likes that a whole lot. I think I should go...?"  
  
The last part sounded like a question. He might have just said 'please stop me from doing this', he thought, as he mentally smacked himself over the head.  
Way to make your point.  
  
"He does seem to like you.", Thor chimed in, unexpectedly, "He does not prank just anyone. Or rather, if he disliked you, it would not have been so harmless a prank."  
  
Although Tony blamed the t-shirt prank on Loki's attempt to get his attention on the other alterations he had made, he did not feel the need to correct Thor in his assessment.  
  
Curiosity. One day it would get him killed.  
  
Fury gave him a look that practically screamed 'I'd rather sacrifice you than her', as he nodded in mock reluctance.  
  
"You said he was weakened, even more so, than he had been in here. If he still is, I want you to contact us, so we can take him in. If he is not, wait until he is vulnerable."  
  
Thor shifted in his seat. He did not like this, not one bit.  
  
"If you wouldn't mind, I would like to have a clear head for this. Bed, now."  
  
The last words were all but mumbled as he slowly walked out, his body already in sleep mode. When he finally found his bed and burrowed himself under the covers, sleep took him after mere seconds and held him in a deep, thankfully dreamless slumber for the next ten hours.


	4. A Blue Dilemma

  
The warehouse would not have been his first choice, as far as hideouts went.  
Some villains could pull it off. Tony had his doubts, that Loki was the warehouse type. The abandoned villa type, maybe. Church type even, be it for the irony alone. The castle type, most definitely. But they did not have many of those around here, and he just couldn't picture Loki breaking into Disney World to take over a pink and white paper mesh construct.

As amusing a thought as that might be...  
  
Back to the warehouses of this world. Some could be quite impressive. Old factories with their industrial charm and broken down structures, certainly. He might even imagine the demigod in such a setting. Hopelessly out of place, but the overall atmosphere would suit him at least.  
Now this particular warehouse was none of the above. It was abandoned, but not due to its age or a certain degree of decay. It looked new enough. Boring. Almost clean, a lot of grey surfaces. No rusted steel beams and rubble on the floor. No. Boring, plain old warehouse. Just.. well, not used.  
  
Tony, being all about style, as Rogers had assessed so fittingly the day before, could not help but be offended by that.  
He tried to shake the feeling and take a look. There was still the possibility of a magically changed interior. Again, flashes of castle's great halls in all their medieval glory. But no such luck.  
  
He did find magic inside, it was just not the kind he had hoped to see. A big shimmer, roughly the shape of a person or two, a tall person. Let's face it, it was door-shaped, and Tony did not like it.  
It didn't even have any pretty, magical colours. No fireball-red, no Loki-green. Nothing. It was just shimmering. Like gasoline or hot air over heated asphalt.  
Well, he could always turn around, report his findings. There was nothing else here. The warehouse one big ass open space. Nowhere to hide. That unnerved him in particular. It was so not Loki.  
His curiosity got the better of him though. Again. And he slowly walked closer to the flickering form that hovered in the air.  
  
Should he have taken his suit?  
Hell yes he should have taken the fucking suit and the one in the suitcase and some grenades for good measure.

  
' _You are to negotiate with him. At least that's what we want him to think. So suck it up and go as you are! If he is as drained as you say-_ '

  
Fury's voice echoed in his mind and Tony felt like picking up the phone just to give him a piece of his mind. He was going to hell anyway, might as well give the guy a bad conscience.  
If such a creature existed. We are talking about Fury here.  
  
He edged closer, slowly. He realized he was sneaking, avoiding all sound.  
It was probably a trap. Definitely. What else could it be?

 _Anthony, you turn around and make that call now!_  
Well, Anthony did not listen to his own babbling, as usual.  
  
Hell.  
He was _Iron Man_ for god's sake.  
With this final push of courage _and/or_ insanity he entered the door-shaped shimmer.  
He could have sworn an airy voice inside his head called out his name, as he stepped through. The lurch in his stomach was not as bad as the one that had taken him out of his bed and into a freaking jet, but it was close.  
' _Teleport'_ had been his best case scenario, along with magical shower/regeneration thing or something of the sort, so he had been half-prepared to be hauled off through magical dimensions or whatever this was.  
  
He found himself in another open space, but this one did meet his expectations.  
"A... abandoned theater!"  
It was eerie, hearing ones own voice disturb the dusty silence that had this place under its spell for who-knows how long.  
That disturbing feeling was gone, however, as he registered the faint movement on the stage, where an old-fashioned arm chair stood, the only prop evident on the scene, and in it, the lanky frame of Loki himself, now jerked upright from the sprawl he had been in and tense, as he watched the man he had invited come closer, slowly, climbing up and taking the last few steps until he towered over him with a trademark grin on his face.  
' _Here I am_ ' it said. ' _Rock you like a hurricane_ '., another might have heard added in that smile, but not Loki, for obvious reasons.  
  
The god struggled to keep the mask of indifference plastered to his face, but the faint widening of bloodshot eyes betrayed him and he tried to cover with a smile instead.  
  
"So you have decided to join me."  
  
The drawl was not the usual display of arrogance and indifference. The voice sounded nothing but exhausted, the snotty tint to it nothing but a doomed attempt to fake his usual tone.  
  
It did not go by unnoticed and Tony slipped a hand in his pocket to retrieve his Stark design, state of the art cell phone and regarded it with mock thoughtfulness.  
  
"And what exactly is to hinder me from calling Fury right now and have him track me here to pick you up?"  
  
The reply was a snarl, a flash of rage and a golden shimmer that flickered over the tired form that was Loki.  
Flickered, and faded again, a dusky blue taking its place, as the god slid back into the chair with a small sound of desperation, his eyes changed to a deep blood red, then rolled into the back of his head and fluttered shut.

  
 _What. The. Hell._

  
The magical shimmer of the shape shift was gone and let Tony examine the whole extent of the change he had just witnessed.  
His shape was not shifted per se, just his colour was different and there were lines standing out from the skin in his face.  
And then there was the cold.  
It radiated from the body like it was made from pure liquid nitrogen, ready to shock freeze anything that came too close.  
Tony was not going to.  
  
"Okay, you are drained alright."  
  
But could he trust that? He hadn't even meant to test if the god was as powerless as he seemed. All he had wanted was an actual reason not to call Fury. More dirt on the guy, there had to be something. Loki would never expect him to seriously form an alliance with him, based on minor trust issues between the director and him.

Let's face it, between the demigod and Fury, in whom would Tony rather lay his trust?  
The latter was easy enough to monitor and if he was caught doing so, it would earn him a clap on his fingers, suspension at best. If he actually found something, he could always confront the man.  
With Loki however, he was completely and utterly out of his league.  
  
And he did not actually consider this, did he?  
No. No way in hell. Then why had his thumb hovered over the call button for the last minute or so, his eyes twitching between the helpless god and the display, that said ' _Yarr, there be pirates_ '?  
  
He tried to blame curiosity, as he went off stage and returned soon after, a chair in hand.  
He put it down in front of Loki and sat. Waiting, watching.  
  
"I don't trust you."  
  
He stated the obvious.  
  
"I don't even think you are really unconscious."  
  
Now that just sounded silly. And pointless.  
  
"Should I call Thor to put his little brother to bed?", he cooed.  
  
Nothing. Not even the shadow of a snarl, not even a twitch.  
  
That was pointless. If the Trickster wanted to trick him, he would succeed in doing so.  
  
"The question is not, whether or not I trust you. Because I don't, but we both already know that. There are plenty reasons for me to give you to Fury right here and now."  
  
The rest left unsaid. He was looking for reasons to stay, besides his borderline suicidal curiosity.  
  
For one, the Chitauri were coming. They needed info on them. More, than Thor was able to give. Then again, the weak spots Loki hinted at might be a ploy to make himself seem useful to them. After all, Thor seemed pretty set on the whole invincibility thing.  
  
Then there was the simple fact that even if the God of Lies would not be able to give them more intell on the Chitauri, they could need a fighter of his strength. No way in hell that Fury would just set him free for him to help them in the fight. If he were to become S.H.I.E.L.D's prisoner, then he would stay that way. Unless he had more flying monkeys up his sleeve. No, they needed him free, if he were to help them. If the Chitauri truly were after him, like he and Thor had said, he would fight them. If they were truly that able to destroy everything they set their mind on, then he would not hide, probably, but fight them out in the open to begin with.  
Unless-  
Unless he never meant to cross them and all of this was his way to infiltrate the Avengers. Great.  
  
Tony had no other choice but come to the conclusion, that he had no idea, what Loki's true endgame might be. (And why the hell he was blue.)  
All he knew was that the man before him was helpless and that he did not want to hand him over to Fury. No way in hell.  
' _... we are hopelessly, hilariously outgunned._ '  
Fury had already asked Thor, if he could run some tests on him.  
Learn what makes an Asgardian tick.  
Unthinkable what he might do to an Asgardian prisoner, a mage at that.  
  
He should call Thor. Have him handle this. The guy belonged to Asgard, in an Asgardian prison. They all knew of the New Mexico incident. Loki had much to answer for to begin with.  
But then again, the Thunderer was never one for rational decisions.  
Would he chose his brother's safety over his Midgard when it came down to it?  
Because, let's face it, if the Chitauri were coming and what Loki had said was true, they would not stand a chance without his help and the intell he was offering.  
What call would he make?  
Right. Earth. Chitauri. And there we were again. Could Loki really help?  
It did not matter, what Thor decided. They were screwed. Either the chance to defeat the alien invasion taken from them, or Loki in the hands of Fury, a ticking timebomb, godly guinea pig.  
  
His eyes wandered over the deep shadows under his bruised eyes, visible even on the darker skin tone.  
His eyes were closed now, his body in a state of peaceful slumber.  
He had slipped from unconsciousness to sleep, it seemed. His breath a soft rattle in his chest, but evenly paced now.  
  
"Blue. Freaking blue."  
  
Tony shook his head. This intrigued him, more than he cared to admit.  
  
The options he had all sucked, he concluded.  
So Tony Stark did something, he had never done before. He did nothing and waited for this to play out.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Hours went by and nothing happened. Nothing except the soft but insistent vibration of his cell phone.  
He did not need to check it, to know who was calling.  
  
When the god in front of him finally stirred the sun had already risen outside, nothing but a few tendrils of light found their way through what seemed to be a couple of cracks in the richly decorated ceiling, painting intricate, ever changing patterns on the stage they were on.  
This did not seem to be the most solid piece of classical architecture, Tony worried.  
  
Murderous red revealed itself, as Loki finally opened his eyes. His gaze unfocussed, his mind clearly disoriented.  
When he fully came to, the memory of their encounter the night before hit him with full force. He jerked upright with a snarl, but fell back instantly, his faced scrunched up in a look of pain.  
  
"Good morning, sunshine.", Tony beamed, willing away the trace of fear in his voice.  
  
Loki shifted, uncomfortably. Then his glance found the blue hand, that had embedded its talon like fingers in the black leather of the arm rest, and his eyes widened in genuine shock.  
Some seconds passed and neither of them dared to move.  
The god then drew in a deep, shaky breath and with a considerable amount of strain clearly visible on his features, his skin regained the usual pale complexion and the blood red faded from his eyes, leaving only the pale blue Tony knew.  
  
"And I had just thought up all these awesome smurf-related jokes.", he stated and ignored the confused look it got him.  
 Who cared if the god didn't understand a word he said. He was funny and he knew it.  
  
"Why."  
  
The voice sounded raw and broken.  
Tony regarded him with a long look.  
  
"Seriously? I have no idea. The other options all didn't do much for me."  
  
"Other options? It was to call him or not to call him. What other options were there?"  
  
"There was the option of calling your brother and have your ass shipped back to Asgard. But that would not help us with the Chitauri. Even though I'm not sure, if you could actually be of any help with that."  
  
"I spoke truth, I can help you."  
  
"You can't do shit right now, apparently."  
  
"I do not need your pity."  
  
"Not pitying, just stating a fact. And while we're at it. What the hell was that?"  
  
Loki huffed, unamused.  
  
"What. You trying to kill me you mean?"  
  
Stark threw him a bemused look.  
  
"I was just asking for a reason not to call Fury. As little as I like the guy, but that does not equal killing you."  
  
"Making me use more power than I had did."  
  
"That's what happened?"  
  
"I tried to teleport, of course. I thought I had that covered in the teleport spell that brought you here, it was to read your intent and teleport you accordingly. It had worked after all, it seems. But I could have been wrong. My concentration is slightly off in this... state."  
  
"So.. It could have killed you, trying to use magic?"  
  
Oh god, Thor would have killed him.  
  
"I do not need your mercy."  
  
If looks could kill.  
  
"I am not worried for _your_ life here, Sleeping Beauty."  
  
"Go on.", he added after the look of pure irritation Loki gave him.  
  
"Well.. yes, it could have killed me. If there is no energy left to use, magic eats away at life itself. It does not need to take a huge bite and my immortality does not do me any good, if it sinks its teeth in the wrong part. Gladly, all I did was faint, apparently."  
  
"And turn into the aforementioned smurf."  
  
...  
  
"Blue", he added and was rewarded with a hiss and a glare, that rivaled the murderous blood red from before.  
  
"Never speak of this again, I warn you."  
  
Tony did not need to be warned twice, he recognized murderous intent when he saw it. And this was it.  
  
  
"Well... anyway. We need that intell on the Chitauri and we might need your firepower along with it. Thing is, Fury will not want you walking around S.H.I.E.L.D territory, which in his mind covers the whole planet earth, so you might want to stay in here for now. At least until you have recovered enough to be able to avoid running into him. If you actually are capable of stealth, unlike Stuttgart. Don't give me a second Stuttgart, understood?"  
  
Loki regarded him with a long look. One of bewilderment. One that said ' _Why do you trust me? You know you shouldn't_ ', as if anyone seriously needed to remind Tony of that.  
  
"What will you do then? Go back to your companions and hope they don't ask?"  
  
It was then, that the realization truly hit him.  
  
He couldn't go back now.  
It was either give up Loki or stand on his side, completely.  
He shivered at the sudden thought of what Fury would do, to find Loki. If he had the information he wanted, the old pirate would stop at nothing to get to it.  
Well, fuck.  
  
Stark Tower came to mind and was easily dismissed. Coulson had breached his security protocol just to deliver a couple of notes. As of now, JARVIS would not be able to keep Fury out. Not for long anyway. And if S.H.I.E.L.D truly wanted to, they could get anyone on their side. Government, military.  
Suddenly the room had gotten really, really cold and the air around him did not seem as breathable as it had been moments ago.  
Rubbing his face with both hands he tried to at least attempt an answer to Loki's question. If he just started talking, maybe he would find one, eventually. That usually worked fine for him, when he had no idea what the hell he was doing. Smiling and Waving. And talking.  
  
He had barely opened his mouth before Loki's head jerked to the side and a wicked grin spread across his face.  
Yup, colder and colder.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"The teleportation spell. Your Black Widow just tried to get in."  
  
Tony looked around, but part of him already knew where this was headed.  
  
"Where is she? What happened to her?"  
  
"Oh, I think she will like the Antarctic."  
  
Ooooooh crap, crap, crap, crap...  
  
Positions of science stations and the like shot through Tony's head. Harbors, Settlements.. if it could be called that. Places of touristic interest.  
The Widow was great at surviving. But he didn't know much about her survival skills regarding icy desert regions.  
He tried to tell himself she would be fine, but it did nothing to help the clump of guilt, that started to form in his stomach.  
  
"Oh, and I take it you will be staying here with me?"  
  
Bastard.  
  
What the hell has he gotten himself into.  
  
He should get out, now. Give the guy up and have it done with. He did not seem to have regained his full power yet. If there was still a way out, now or never.  
Then he thought about his very own surviving skills and of icy deserts and eating penguins.  
And he stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this: http://i.imgur.com/mQmEb.gif


	5. Visitor L

The lump in his chest would not leave.  
He had asked Loki about Natasha more than once, but all he ever got as an answer was that god-awful smile.  
He had also asked him, how long it would take for him to fully regenerate.  
To that Loki would not answer at all.  
Well, Tony could not blame him. Who would want to share such vital information in the type of unstable alliance they had?

Tony wished he had his suit. Oh, how he wished to have _something_ to feel in control. He had JARVIS on his phone, but that did not help much.  
He had his tower put on lockdown and had him inform Pepper that everything was fine. Whatever that meant.  
He was not _fine_. He could not have been less fine, locked up with a megalomaniac that might just have become a little more crazy, due to his loss of power. Caged animal and all.

Worse than being locked up with a villain was that it was out of his own free will, sort of.  
By now, Fury must be convinced, that he had changed sides.  
And it hurt.  
Because he wasn't the bad guy.

_He was not._

He might not be a hero and he took pride in that, but he wasn't the villain either. He had his reasons.

To leave Loki here might be the only way they had a shot at beating the Chitauri.  
Sadly, this meant he had to stay here as well. Loki's location at a high risk of being tortured out of him, most likely, if he left to rejoin the Avengers.

Fury was right. He was not Avengers material. He had his own mind and he was not afraid to use it.  
Damn them.  
He had wondered more than once, how his actions might be conceived when all of this was over. In case everything played out the way he hoped, that is.  
There were so many things he thought about. Not much to do here anyway but sleep and eat.  
Loki would occasionally use his inherent power to shapeshift to get them food.  
Tony had not thought about this. Thor ate, but it had seemed to him, that he did so for the taste. Maybe it was a power regenerating thing for Loki, but he ate.  
In separate rooms, of course. There was not much fraternising going on between them. Tony was thankful for that much at least. He could still pretend he was a prisoner, that he was not truly on Loki's side.  
The rooms were another matter. Loki had conjured up some basic furniture in a couple of backstage rooms. One for himself and one for Tony. They spent most of their time withdrawn from the other in those rooms. Some time they spent on the stage, where they talked about anything of importance.  
As grand as a theatre may sound, it made for a lousy lair. A lair, a _villain's_ lair. That's what it probably should be. But the lack of furniture, decoration, equipment and anything of the sort reduced it to what it was, a miserable hideout that they somehow survived in. Shielded by the little magic Loki could manage to uphold constantly and so very not secure.  
Tony still had no idea where they were, and the shield had the same shimmer about it that the teleportation had had, so he dared not pass it.  
After all, a teleportation spell would make a very effective shield. Teleport anyone that enters into some other abandoned theatre of similar structure, teleport anyone that tries to leave it off to the penguins.  
Yeah, sounded like Loki.  
So Tony could not do much. His attempts to have JARVIS track his cell phone did not get him anywhere either.  
It made him feel marginally better about himself though, after all, he was a prisoner now.

Three days had passed when she entered his bedroom the first time.  
He had been asleep and stayed that way, as a warm body slid under the covers and pressed itself against his.  
His playboy instincts were impeccable as always and he did not need a deeper understanding of things to wrap protective arms around her and mumble some generic words of appreciation.  
Some peaceful minutes later his mind bothered to point out the inconsistency of the situation at hand and he jerked awake.  
In shock he stumbled out of bed and managed to find the light switch. Once his eyes got used to the sudden brightness his gaze found the nightly intruder and he stared.

He knew it could only be Loki. He had seen the god shapeshift before. Why shouldn't he be able to change into a woman's body as well? That was wrong, so wrong.

"What the hell.. why?!", was all he managed to stammer, a lot less eloquently than he would have liked.

Loki raised an elegant eyebrow.

"I discovered that men like you find me more agreeable this way."

She looked down at herself, obviously pleased with what she saw.  
Not the type, Tony would have gone for and he smacked himself over the head mentally, for even thinking in these categories with _this_ in his bed.

He preferred blond, tall, slim. The Loki he stared at looked short, as far as he could judge, her laying down and all. She was not _not_ slim, but she definitely had curves. Hips, in particular. Her breasts were relatively small and there was something tomboy-ish about her. Playful. Sure to become feral and venomous any second, if he did not play his cards right. Oh yeah right, and she was naked.

"So... what you want me to find you agreeable for being-..."

"Come to bed, Anthony."

He shook his head, the voice like smoke wrapped in silk all but pulled him forward and when his knees met the mattress he was so surprised at the steps he had involuntarily taken, that he stumbled and sat down in irritation, still eyeing the woman in front of him warily.

"I will not-"

Loki _tsk_ ed at him in disapproval.

"Oh, but you will, one way or the other. You might as well live up to your name, Anthony Stark. Be honoured I would have you."

"I do have standards, you know? You are... Loki!"

"And this is why you should be honoured."

She rose with the grace of a panther. Unhuman power evident in each of her movements and with the celerity of a lizard disappearing between a couple of bricks she appeared before Tony and pushed him into the wall with as much force as a human could probably handle without breaking.

Split seconds later she was there, pressed against him and her eyes fixed on his from slightly underneath him.

"I would have you.", she all but purred, the sound low in her chest.

A sweet, poisonous kiss swallowed all refusal Tony might have uttered and as he told himself, that he was helpless in the face of her power, he gave in to smooth skin under his hands and supple hips, that moved against him in a demanding rhythm.

He was thrown onto the bed next and found himself undressed in a flash and his hips straddled. A few strands of her chin-length raven hair had loosened from the neatly pushed back style they had been in before to hang over her pale eyes which had just the same menacing shimmer to them, as _his_ had had. And she growled.

This was scary as hell. Tony could not help but think of insect queens, that would devour their mates after they were done with them. ' _Just play along, do what she wants_ ', he told himself and laid his hands on her hips, gingerly guiding her movements.  
She seemed to disagree with that, and with a snarl his arms were pulled up, next to his head, where she held him by the biceps in a death grip, as she slowly began to ride him.  
She felt hot and wet around him and he soon found himself panting, as her low, hoarse moans filled the air.

It did not take long for him to come and with last few thrusts of her hips so did she, not for the first time in this encounter.

For a while she just sat there, her grip on his arms only slightly softening.  
As the heavy breathing subsided and the air around them seemed to cool down, she sighed quietly.

"I had needed that."

That admission was unexpected. It sounded so very vulnerable, and that from the mouth of a woman, that had just then been assertiveness personified, as pleasurable as it had been for Tony, leaving aside the uncomfortable implications of the encounter.

Tony did not dare to say anything at that. But in the back of his mind he knew, he had needed this just as badly.  
The pleasure, the loss of control, it had relieved him of so much weight, he did not know he had borne until now.

Slowly the cold crept back into their world and reminded them.

"The Chitauri are coming, soon."

The whisper was nearly audible, and it sounded fearful. And that scared the hell out of Tony. So he was thankful for the slender body that sank down onto his chest, the grip on his arms relieved, leaving dark bruises. Her arms slid under his uncomfortably, urging him to lay his arms around her, which he did.  
Her fingers played with locks of his hair absent mindedly.

"People are much more willing to bestow comfort upon me, whenever I wear this form."

He was not. He did not feel like cuddling the maniac.  
Apart from the fact, that in the back of his mind he still felt like he had just slept with another man, the energy she emitted was so very _Loki,_ menacing, poisonous, mean and very, very old. That did not make for good cuddling material.  
The fact that she did seem to need him irritated him further. Maybe just another device of her deceit. He chose not to care and pulled the blanket over them both.  
He needed this too. Badly. And he hated it.

Her hair smelled like rain.


	6. Lord Loki the Unexpected

  
  
The next time Lady Loki appeared before him, it still put him off, quite frankly. He had always considered himself straight as an arrow and while the thought of sleeping with another man didn't seem completely outlandish to him, it was nothing but a complete lack of interest in the same sex that he felt. Yet somehow even he felt the difference between the attraction towards the physical shape in front of him and something deeper, the all too familiar pull of magic, still nearly diminished in the small frame before him. She breathed danger, ice and fire. Her eyes spoke of poison, ready to be pumped into his body if he came too close. _What's your poison, then?_ He could not resist. The forbidden fruit in all its mythical beauty, alluring and wicked, she was offering and he took, gladly.  
  
It became their rhythm. Loki would be his male self most oft the time, but when he came to Tony's room, uninvited, he would throw an inquiring glance at him, and Tony would nod and he would change.  
She wasn't as violent as she had been the first time. It was like a silent understanding between them, they would grant pleasure and comfort to each other, and it would not mean a thing.  
  
_Not a thing._  
  
Things had changed one night, however. Nothing had happened in particular. Yet as he watched Loki's face today, the question unspoken on those lips that he knew to be full of lies and deceit, he could not bring himself to ask. Loki was waiting for his cue, a sign, that this form was not appreciated, as he knew it not to be. There was nothing sad about it, no bitterness laced the pale blue, that was so busy burying its cold essence into his soul.  
Tony could not bring himself to ask.  
  
It may have been curiosity, on some level, or even the wish to appease the god at whose mercy he was, he did not know.  
"No need.", he answered the unspoken question and Loki threw him a befuddled glance, eyebrows raised high. He knew of the implications all this must have for the mortal.  
  
He needed this, he decided. Needed his control to be stripped away from him, all the guilt with it. He felt the need for pain, punishment for being here. For doing this to begin with. He despised himself and the more he did, the more he longed for the comfort, the escape of the micro cosmos of two bodies writhing under the covers. And the more he longed for it, the weaker he felt himself become. He could tell himself, that this was the decision he had made for earth, for mankind. But who cares? He was too weak to see it through. He had given in to Loki and he continued to do so every day, every hour he spent in this place.  
He had been compromised. ' _Fraternizing with the enemy!_ ' He could practically hear Fury's voice. Or Steve's. Perfect Steve Rogers would have never given in to such one as Loki.  
No, Steve would have gotten himself killed by him and what good would that have done the earth?  
It did not matter what he tried to tell himself. The voices in his head wouldn't shut up, the only that that could make them was Loki. Sweet moments of forbidden escape, bestowed upon him by a murderous maniac. Might as well give him all. Pain, humiliation. He needed to be punished. Maybe the voices would shut up then. He deserved this.  
  
Loki's features softened visibly, as he edged closer to the bed without the slightest trace of hesitation. He did not wear his famed mask of indifference, yet Tony had severe problems pinpointing what emotion was portrayed on the god's face.  
Waves of heat were already washing over him, but it was fear, not pleasure, he felt. He had propped himself up on some pillows as the god had entered and had not changed his position since.  
Loki wasted no time getting them both out of their clothes. Delicate Fingers dug into the soft flesh of his inner thighs with force he knew was only a fracture of the true potential that lay in those graceful limbs. It hurt anyway, as his legs were spread and fear once again hit him. He tried not to flinch, but could not help the twitch in his hands, as they hinted at the attempt to cover himself. He did not, but Loki had seen the movement anyway and frowned.  
  
"Indecisive, are we?"  
  
Tony winced at that and avoided the other man's glance.  
Stupid.  
  
Loki did not seem to care much. He proceeded to position himself between his legs, Tony's thighs laying on his own, loosely wrapped around his waist.  
Part of Tony wanted to scream at him to get it over with, but the rest of him was busy being stupefied by the gentleness, with which Loki now gripped his hips and brought him up to his lap.  
The movement resulted in Tony sliding down from his previously upright position and along with the feeling of Loki's cock pressed against his ass he now also had the god to physically look _up_ to.  
He shivered at that and got a look that bordered on concern for it.  
  
"Are you cold?", he asked and began slowly stroking Tony's chest, carefully avoiding the arc reactor, which he knew the mortal to be quite protective about.  
  
The sensation of warm hands all over his torso got him going a lot more than he would ever have anticipated and if he had been cold, he definitely would not be now.  
He had not expected this, not at all.  
Something in the back of his mind wanted to scream at Loki, ask him, what the hell was wrong with him, but he was afraid any word out of his mouth might break the spell.  
Loki seemed so sure of what he was doing, as if this was an everyday occurrence to him.  
_Idiot,_ of course it was. Apart from Lady Loki being with him over the course of the last few days, the god was old, so very old. He must have had of thousands of partners.  
He felt himself relax under the gentle touch and did not even twitch, as the hands came to a stop on his legs and started caressing his inner thighs.  
Tony felt the familiar rush of blood pooling into his groin and he felt himself harden, as the exploring fingers brushed his abdomen, teasingly avoiding his erection that screamed for attention.  
  
"Keep still now."  
  
The silky voice was slightly hoarse from withheld need.  
  
'I am', he wanted to say but the comment got stuck in his throat, as the intention of the words revealed themselves to him in form of two slick fingers, that snuck in between his legs and started preparing him. It took all his self control not to jerk away, as Loki drew slow circles around the tight ring of muscle that lay so openly before him. Exposed. The fear slowly crept back into him and held his heart in a death grip.  
Low, soothing noises did not have the wanted effect on him, but the hand that now gripped his cock had, as it slowly stroked him, teasing the head with his thumb.  
For short moments Tony could forget the fingers that were now inside of him, scissoring and pushing, and then he did not need any more distraction, as an exploring digit brushed a spot inside of him that made him shiver.  
  
".. the fuck was that?", he breathed and was rewarded with a low chuckle.  
  
Loki's gaze wandered aimlessly, his brow furrowed in concentration, as he searched and found that spot again and pushed into it with both fingers.  
Tony's back arched off the mattress and he thrust himself depper into the touch, a breathy moan on his lips.  
  
"That's... do it again!"  
  
"I am going to do something even better than that."  
  
Tony couldn't help but shudder at the promise that laced these words. The good kind of shudder.  
He bit his lip as the head of Loki's cock pushed against his entrance, massaged against it before pushing in, slow and steadily, inch by inch.  
Tony's gaze was fixed on Loki, whose intense eyes were filled with pleasure, a mean snarl on his face, that spoke of the effort it cost him to keep this slow.  
Why the hell he did anyway was beyond him, but he was thankful for it all the same.  
  
When the god had entered him completely he stopped and stared, the question evident on his face. An agent of chaos did not ask for permission. But Loki did, with a slight raise of one eyebrow. He was panting by now, lips parted, and Tony wondered, what his voice would sound like now. But he did not push his luck.  
  
"I'm okay, you can move. I'm okay."  
  
He did not need to be told twice. Tony's knees were brought up and angled over Loki's arms, his hands still upholding their tight grip on his hips from underneath, and then he moved.  
And god did he move. Tony's vision jittered after a few strokes of the hard piece of flesh inside of him. He shut his eyes but willed them open again soon after to watch the god's face as it came undone before him, all flushed skin and hunger in those wild eyes that now roamed the mortals chest greedily.  
  
Suddenly the hands holding him were gone, placed beside his head instead, as the god bent forward and his mouth assaulted Tony's neck with a feral passion, much more fitting than the eerie gentleness he had displayed before.  
Tony quickly readjusted his legs, wrapped them around Loki's waist.  
The thought of all those women, that had done the same thing with him as they had had sex only jarred him for a second or so, before the combined force of Loki's tongue and teeth on his neck and the raging cock inside of him washed it all away and left him moaning blissfully.  
He wondered shortly, if it was appreciated to do so, before he wrapped his arms around the man above him and held him close.  
He did not seem to mind. If anything, it only made him drive in deeper and harder, making the mortal at his mercy quiver with need.  
A need he tried his very best to fulfill, feeding him, filling him thrust after thrust.  
Tony did not think it possible, that a man's voice could arouse him so. The low, breathy moans were hoarse with lust and they came louder and harder the longer they went, his own throat already sore from his own proclamations of pleasure.  
  
When that greedy mouth left his skin, Tony let out an unhappy sound and reached out to pull him back, but the god had already propped himself up on his arms and once again towered over him in all his glory. His hands returned to Tony's hips and he picked up the pace, fast. The combined sounds of their pleasure filled out Tony's mind, lust had him blinded and he closed his eyes, as he was pounded into the mattress in a rhythm that could only be described as insane, unhumanly so.  
  
His hands shot up to grip something, anything, they found the metal bars of the headboard and held on for dear life, as he was rocked into the  cushions beneath him.  
Long fingers send him flying, as they gripped his cock and pumped, sending him over the edge, and he came hard with a scream.  
His body clenched violently and pulled Loki with him who bend over once more with his back arched, thrust into him one more time, his head thrown back in one final godlike song of ecstasy.  
Tony could have been wrong in his state of mind, but he could have sworn he saw a flicker of what looked like Loki's trademark helmet on his head for split seconds, until the god let his head slump forward once again, a lazy grin on his lips, and he rolled to the side.  
  
Tony freed his grip on the headboard and shifted into a comfortable position.  
  
Next to him Loki sighed and then laughed, quietly.  
  
The god found his hand and intertwined their fingers in a loving gesture.  
  
The sweet nothingness in Tony's chest wavered, as he remembered thoughts he had had just half an hour ago.  
This did not go as expected. Not at all.  
He choked on the sweetness, the lovingness of it, as a gentle thumb drew lazy cirles on the back of his hand.  
  
The only explanation he had was that he had given the god what he had needed, truly needed. That was no quick _getting off_ and being done with it, as it had been with Lady Loki.  
  
' _This does not mean a thing_.'  
  
Tony squeezed his eyes shut. Afraid to look at the god, or more likely, afraid to look at him and probably meet his eyes. He could not stand this, not now.  
  
  
' _Please, please, please don't fall in love with me._ '


	7. Of Friends and Foes

The need for company had become stronger and stronger over the last few days.  
Loki's sudden change in demeanor did not keep Tony from longing for the little moments of escape they shared. If anything, it made him need it more.  
He suspected the reason for Loki's more affectionate side to be Tony's acceptance of his male form. That's the only explanation he had and he did not plan on correcting Loki's understanding of the situation.  
He had wanted pain, wanted the pleasure without physical attraction, if that was possible. He really, really had not expected what he had gotten instead.  
Acceptance. He knew it to affect the so-called _outsiders_ most of all people. He was one himself, he had to know. And he constantly sought acceptance for whatever he did. Nothing he liked to admit to anyone, but he was well aware of it. Pepper accepted him just the way he was. She acknowledged strength and weakness alike and she stayed by his side, no matter what choices he made. And he loved her so dearly for it, it scared him.  
  
And now he might just have given Loki something the god had needed. A mere mortal like him. Under any other circumstance this might have freaked him out, but.. well, he needed Loki. He had given up on denying it. And so it happened, that he found himself lying underneath the god once again, the remnants of mind-blowing sex rendering them both unable to move.  
  
"They will not wait much longer."  
  
Loki's voice, as quietly as the words were spoken, sounded harsh in the comfortable silence that had engulfed them after their love-making.  
  
"Chitauri.", Tony stated and felt the man on top of him shiver at the mere sound of it.  
  
"Yes. We need to move soon. My power has replenished. I would rather call them sooner than later. If they so much as suspect my betrayal, they might not come when I call."  
  
"Excuse me. Why would that be a bad thing again?"  
  
"Because I promised them something. Something they need very badly. If I do not call them through the Tesseract they will find their own way of transport and when they do, we will not know when or where they will hit. We need this advantage dearly if we-"  
  
"Alright, point taken. We call them. How?"  
  
"I have it all set up. Selvig should be ready by now. All we need now is to contact your team and tell them, what they need to know."  
  
Tony sighed and held the other closer. He was scared and this was exactly the moment he was scared of. What if the Widow had not come back? What will they say? Will they believe him? Will they think, that he truly switched sides? Which he sort of had, only, that Loki had switched sides before him, so they were basically still on the same side, but would they believe that as he had? And he noticed his mind was running in sloppy circles again, so he decided to stop.  
  
"Let's get up and going then."  
  
He attempted to begin by standing, long limbs untangled themselves from his own and he finally managed an upright position..  
Loki magicked them both clean and in decent shape to leave the house, then donned his golden armor.  
  
"Going to battle or something?", Tony teased and was rewarded with a cocked eyebrow that said 'duh' and nearly made him smile, weren't it for the implications this might have.  
  
"I am guessing my friends will not be too thrilled to face you in full battle-gear. You can magick it on quickly enough, right? Maybe just meet them all casually like, you know, non-threatening?"  
  
Loki did not seem comfortable with the idea of facing his foes without proper protection. Just as anxious as Tony was, to face them without his Iron Man armor. His friends. The good guys, and he half expected them to attack on sight. Lovely.  
  
"See, I will get them to meet me at Stark Tower. My armor is there, so I will not be useless if something goes down. Alright?"  
  
After a long, contemplative look Loki finally nodded.  
  
"Stark Tower is quite alright. This is where we will make our stand anyway."  
  
Some sort of noise, most likely a gasp with words of denial half-spoken and mixed in somewhere, escaped the open mouth of Tony Stark, proud owner of Stark Towers.  
  
"Why the hell would we do that? That Tower is new and very, very costly. I do not want an alien invasion at my doorstep! My very costly doorstep!"  
  
Loki only laughed at that.  
  
"Don't be so petty. You have more than enough money to build ten more of those towers. I need the energy, fused with the Tesseract, to open a portal of that size, over that kind of distance. They are not waiting around in this galaxy, not even close. This is nothing like my coming to Midgard, which was a hell of a trip, mind you."  
  
Tony held his hands up in defeat.  
  
"If it can't be changed... let's just hope we defeat them, before they reach my villa in Malibu. I like that place."  
  
To that Loki just grinned. The sort of wicked grin, that said more than it should, and Tony did not like it.  
  
"I would rather save my power and get to Stark Tower the normal way, if you don't mind."  
  
"I don't, but people know me. And as I know Fury, he might just have gotten word out, that I was wanted or something. You can do your shapeshift thing, me- Well."  
  
"They will not see you, I will take care of that. A simple spell I can still muster the energy for. I'd just rather not waste magic where it is not needed."  
  
"I understand, let's take the cab then."  
  
Loki went as his usual, female self, Tony stayed the way he was, though people constantly averted their eyes whenever their glance was just about to meet him. It was creepy, but he would not complain. Whatever got the job done.  
  
It did not take them long to get to their destination. Tony had already had JARVIS call the Avengers, sans Fury, and had him alter the security protocol to let said party in when they arrived.  
Wondrously, all the others were already assembled up in his lounge, when he and Loki arrived.  
The god had the sense to make Tony noticeable and himself female again. Otherwise the results of the encounter might have strayed a little from the way they were intended.  
Tony did not neglect to pick up his bracelets and let JARVIS get his suit ready. He saw his hands shaking, as he put them on, and it was undeniably hard to keep himself from gripping Loki's hand to seek the comfort that he had gotten so used to.  
No, he would have to deal with this on his own.  
  
"You might want to stay outside, let me talk to them first.", he warned and was ignored, which he commented on with a shrug. It was worth a try.  
  
And so they walked in side by side. The looks it got them ranged from confusion to rage with tints of flat out disgust here and there.  
But most importantly, the Widow was there.  
Tony ran towards her and caught her in a big hug. He let her struggle for a couple of seconds, before he let himself be pushed at arm's length and regarded with an angry look, that rivaled the one Hawkeye was throwing Loki at the moment.  
  
"I am so glad you are alive. Was it really the Antarctic? I am _so_ sorry, I never wanted this to happen, you have to believe me."  
  
He babbled, he did not care that he did.  
  
"Shut it, Stark. You better explain yourself and better make it a good one. We pretty much vouched for your sanity by leaving S.H.I.E.L.D out of this."  
  
And so Tony explained, not without getting himself a nice glass of whisky and strutting across the room the entire time.  
When he was done everyone was, well, at least not murderous, as far as he could tell.  
  
"I don't know what their weakness is. He wouldn't tell me."  
  
He threw Loki a glance in mock annoyance and the god smiled sweetly in return.  
  
Everyone tensed as he moved towards the window, cautiously so, regardful of the hands that hovered over potential weapons.  
When he had reached Tony's side he turned and faced them, his shoulder brushing Tony's ever so slightly in the process.  
  
"I am most grateful for your trust."  
  
Hawkeye snorted, Steve frowned, the Widow looked ready to bare her teeth at him and Thor, Thor tried to keep his features as impassive as he could, failing horribly to do so. His face awash with worry, rage, sorrow, mistrust and a good portion of joy at seeing his brother alive and well. Only Bruce Banner managed to keep himself pure zen, as he watched on.  
Loki tried his best to ignore them all. Not an easy task, as he was currently talking to them.  
  
"I need the Chitauri gone just as you do, you need to understand that. They will be coming through a portal above us on my cue, so we will know where and when the will hit. Regarding their weakness-"  
  
Thor had stood up and all but stomped towards his brother, electricity sparking at his hands.  
  
"There is none! You know this, I know this. Everyone knows this! The Chitauri can not be defeated by such as us. This is madness!"  
  
Loki dodged the hand, that had attempted to grip his shoulder and pull him into the certain doom that was a thundergodly bear-hug.  
  
"Gamma-ray, you big fool. Beyond your understanding, I am sure. But this is how it can be done. Their armor is weak to it, as is everything they build with. Weapons, even their ship will become brittle and break under it. All we have to do is find a way to direct it, use it for our purpose. We have Stark to help us with this."  
  
He put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly, the gesture so much more intimate than it looked.  
It helped.  
  
Tony managed to stand up straight and throw a beaming smile at all the frowny faces around.  
  
"Bruce! We will work together on this one. Loki? How long do we have?"  
  
"I can probably hold them off for one more day, but no longer."  
  
"Alright! A challenge. I like challenges. JARVIS, Coffee, in the lab, now. Banner, with me."  
  
With this they left to work on a way to integrate gamma-rays into a weapon easy enough to wield for all of them.  
Surely no problem for the combination of one of the leading physicists on the matter of gamma radiation and the former _Merchant of Death_ , as he had been dubbed by the media.  
  
Loki stayed behind and tried his best to look unfazed by the enemies surrounding him.  
When it came down to it Thor would protect him, that much he was sure of. Without Iron Man and the Hulk in the equation things were looking good for him one way or the other.  
He had seen the Captain fight, impressive for a human, but surely not someone he should be wary of.  
A big armchair by the table caught his interest and he claimed it as nonchalantly as he could, a cocky smile plastered on his face, as he sat down next to Widow and Hawkeye.  
  
He bit back a penguin-related taunt and kept silent. He had to survive in between these people for near 25 hours now. It would not be a good idea to start fighting this early, as inevitable as it probably was.  
  
And so they all just stared at each other, fake smiles and wary glances were thrown in plenty, and somewhere else two men were working on a gun, that might well be earth's only hope.  
  
And in another galaxy the enemy host was waiting to be called, ready to attack at any given time.  
  
 _Soon_.


	8. Where Loyalties Lie

Time went by so very slowly, it drove them insane. The tension between them had only heightened these past few hours, and all of their fiddling with weapons, magic and the like did not help much.  
None of them liked being idle. The Widow and Hawkeye were probably most used to the time before the big showdown, the silence of it, the stillness.  
The helplessness.  
Thoughts were chased and not spoken even once. They all thought the same anyway, all of them knew.  
What if _this_ , what if _that_.  
Unhealthy as it was, none of them felt like actually talking about it.  
Not with _him_ in the room.

The sun had gone down some time ago, when Tony and Bruce finally reemerged from Tony's garage/workshop.  
Bruce was half pushing the other man into the room, his reluctance to leave their work unattended obvious on his face.

"Well, we are progressing fine, so far. JARVIS is running some tests and we thought we'd take the time to.. you know, eat. Get you up to date on things."

Tony made a face at that. He would have preferred staring at the screen and closely monitoring whatever tests they were running.  
They proceeded to decide what food to get, Tony quickly dismissed the notion of ordering and suggested to send Loki to pick something up in person. After all, they could expect Fury to want in on whatever little meeting they had here. None of them was naive enough to think him oblivious to their gathering and none of them was going to underestimate the efforts and resources he would bring to the table to get in. Intercepting the pizza-boy was not out of question and though no one liked the notion of Loki running around freely, they had to agree that he had done so before.  
After the last grumbling about poisoned food, courtesy of Steven Rogers, were dismissed, the trickster god shapeshifted and left.

Everyone released long held breaths and Hawkeye physically slumped in his chair and let out an exaggerated sigh.

Tony winced at that. He realized he had grown fond of the one he should call ' _enemy_ ', but it could not be helped. He knew how everyone else was feeling. Hell, he remembered, how he had felt mere days ago in the presence of Loki. And they did not have time to let the guy sleep his way through all of the avengers. That thought in particular hit him deeply. He knew he had probably been _compromised_ , as _they_ would put it, but it could not be helped now.

"We need to trust him on this, there is no other way to win against that army.", he managed and it earned him nothing but condescending stares.

Trust and Loki did not go well together in this world. He nearly laughed at the notion of separate worlds. Yes, let's just call the theatre Bizarro World and keep it all locked up. None of this truly happened and Loki is a villain and he was an Avenger and everything was fine.  
It would be so easy. If there wasn't the damned issue of the Chitauri at their doorstep and the need to be held by those unhumanly strong arms. Damn those arms.

"Ah, damn it. I know what this looks like. But seriously. What would you have had me do? Bring him in? We need his firepower and he would have never given us the information if we held him captive, you all know this so why the _hell_ are you looking at me like that!?"

Oh joy, great idea. Direct your self-loathing towards them, because that never backfires.

"What's his endgame then? Did he tell you this much at least?"

Widow.

"He means to stay on earth. Not to conquer, just... our resident trickster god, I guess. He will keep the Tesseract, too. He said Fury could not handle it properly, and I guess he is right about that as well. Apart from that... the conquest thing was just the reason he fed the Chitauri to get their cooperation. If what Thor says is right then the Chitauri should be our only concern at the moment. If you want you can still chase Loki and bring him in, if you feel that that's necessary. But first we have a war to win, so get your priorities straight, alright?"

He glanced around at them and waited for confirmation. He got it, one by one they nodded in reluctant agreement and he answered with a grim nod of his own.  
After that long due confrontation no one felt like talking anymore and so they waited for nourishment to arrive, which it did soon after.  
They ate in uncomfortable silence.

Tony and Bruce got back to work after the last bite was taken, eager to escape the air of distrust and loathing, that lay thick between Loki and the rest.

"Damn, they're like a pack of hungry lions, ready to rip him apart.", Tony mumbled more to himself.

"You are worried for _him_?", Bruce asked, eyebrows raised.

"I know, he can hold his own, but-"

"That's not what I meant."

Then there was silence. The same silence that held the other Avengers in a death grip. Great. Awesome working atmosphere.

* * *

The sun had risen and bathed them in a golden light when Bruce entered the scene.  
Some of them looked asleep, but he knew them to be either faking it or having assigned guards to have an eye on their _resident trickster god_.

"We are done with the ray-guns, they should do their job."

"Where is Stark?" inquired Loki as nonchalantly as he could manage.

"Still in the garage, he is trying to work something out. Suit-related."

Loki left with a curt nod of appreciation. At least one person was still able to communicate civilly.

Tony was bent over some gadget he had had in the back of his mind for way too long, so intent on his work, that it shook him to the core, when he realised he was not alone.

"Sneaky bastard.", he grumbled with a quick glance behind him.

"It is not long until I will have to call them, Tony."

It always irritated him to be called by his first name by one such as Loki. A god, and stuff. He should really get over this, after everything they had done.  
 _They can never know._

"I know, I know. I will be finished by then. This is just something I had the idea for ages ago, I just have to quickly integrate this into my armor and..."

The rest was left unheard, as he all but vanished in a heap of cables and circuits.

"Is it essential to beat the Chitauri?", Loki asked.

"Well, it might help, later..."

He did not like to admit just how much he had missed this sleep-deprived tinkering. It was his natural state after all and it felt so good to be here again, covered in grease and motor oil and coffee here and there. He felt like himself again. A feeling he had thought lost.

"So it is not essential to this fight."

"Well, no. But-"

He would have argued more, made his case, like he was so used to against Pepper, but with the soft press of a cool hand on his forehead darkness engulfed him and had him slide into a set of strong arms, that held him against a leather-clad chest. The last thing he was aware of was being picked up and carried somewhere. Then a light kiss on head and then, warm sleepy darkness.

* * *

He found himself lying in the luxurious bed of his master bedroom six hours later. All the grease had been wiped off of him, magically probably, and he was fully clothed in a fresh set of his usual and... Well. A Def Leppard t-shirt. The _Rock of Ages_ one. No surprise there, aside from the fact that he didn't really _own_ that one. He smiled at his chest for a minute or so, before he realised what his being here implicated. _That son of a-_

He stormed out and into the lounge, where a usual scene greeted him.  
Everyone looked slightly worn, but he was sure they had figured out a way to get some sleep, disregarding Loki's presence.  
Loki himself was already in his armor, helmet and all.  
Heads were turned at his entry.

"You put me to _sleep_?!"

The violation of his privacy cut deep. How dare he do this.

"You needed sleep, ask them. They agree."

"Oh, don't you dare patronize me. I was doing _fine_."

"You were barely able to stand, in case you didn't notice. You are of no use to me in this state. Stop whining and get your armor."

Tony opened his mouth to throw something back at him, he did not know what exactly, at this point, but was soon distracted by the entry of one Dr. Selvig, the blue gleam in his eyes stilling Tony's movements and chilling him to the bone.

"You still have him under your control?"

Loki _tsk_ ed at that.

"Don't worry, he's fine. He will be released shortly."

" _Now_! You release him _now!_ "

The god rolled his eyes.

"You do remember what happened to your Hawk, when I set him free? We need that man, I will release him after all is done. Now get ready, we don't have much time left."

Tony threw one long, last glance at Selvig and turned to leave.

"Bruce, come help me with that _thing_ , will you?"

And so the both of them disappeared back into the garage again.

The gamma-weapons have already been brought up and explained to everyone, as Tony found out soon after and he was relieved that the world had not in fact stood still while he had been sleeping.  
In the lounge battle plans were made. Loki had taken the lead and everyone was grudgingly following his orders.  
He had paired Hawkeye and the Widow on one team, Thor and the Captain on the next and the Hulk and Iron Man would be operating freely wherever they were needed.

He himself would be playing his role within the Chitauri army, carefully sabotaging the invasion and at the same time strengthening his allies just enough, so that no one would notice, just to fully turn on the Chitauri when the tide was beginning to turn.

It would be a close call.

Fury had been contacted the day before, civilians will be needed to be evacuated, and that was an enormous task in a city such as New York.  
The director of S.H.I.E.L.D had agreed to do his best, contacting the common police force and military to help with the task. None of them knew how good a job they would do, the faster they had the enemy at their knees the better.

It was unnerving to have so many of them. They were used to have armies, but they usually had a head that could be chopped off. This time they would have to beat the whole army, and that was intimidating as hell, to all of them.

When the time came for everyone to assume their positions the veil of mistrust was replaced with a rush of adrenaline, as they all fell into their routines.  
This is what they were made for.  
This is what they did well.

When the first wave of them came down Iron Man was there to greet them, while Loki assumed a position within their ranks, as befitting their so-called leader.  
The gamma-rays did a great job diminishing their defenses, especially as they were used on the huge sky-snake, that transported hundreds of foot soldiers down to earth.

Yet the aforementioned turn of the tide failed to come, as the sheer mass of them threatened to overwhelm the few warriors, that stood to face them.  
The Widow was hard-pressed to stand her ground, Clint rendered unable to have her back, as he was also being attacked directly and running out of arrows fast.  
The last bits of ammunition were used well on the last of the aliens up at the vista point he had chosen, but the very last arrow was released at Loki in a long shot. The god caught it lazily, but it was still enough to get his attention, and he turned to come to their aid, revealing his betrayal a lot earlier than he had hoped he would, but it could not be helped.  
He owed the Widow for sending her off to the Antarctic, as Tony had pointed out. If Tony thought he should make it up to her, so be it. They needed her in this fight anyway. Might as well save her life.

And so he cast a quick shield around her as he came down to fight back to back against the surrounding Chitauri, much to her obvious surprise.  
The combination of quick strikes, shots and flying knifes complemented his own style well, and so they soon gained the upper hand in this fight, that had seemed so lost just moments ago.

A sudden roar of energy had them glancing back at Stark Tower, where the rest of the war did not seem to go so smoothly and where a missile had just been started to go off, straight up into the sky, aimed at the portal. Thor and Iron man stood by, observing its course, as a Chitauri jet-ski hit it in mid flight and altered its aim slightly, yet severely enough to surely miss the portal up high in the sky.  
They could see arguing, angry gestures between the Thunderer and Stark, but Iron Man seemed to have won the fight over whatever this had been and took off after the missile that was shaking in its flight, obviously affected by the hit it had taken earlier.

" _No, no, no, no_... what is he _doing_?"

The Widow threw an incredulous look at him. So he revealed his true loyalties now?

"Destroying your army, darling. _That-_ ", she pointed at the red-gold shadow, that had by now reached the missile and pushed it back on course, "That is a nuke. Gamma, lots of it. If he manages to push it through the portal, hit the mother ship-"

"Then what about _him_? Won't he be hit? He does not know where the mother ship is located behind the portal. He would have to fly through it along with that.. _nuke_ , to hit them."

The Widow frowned in irritation.

"Yes, I suppose."

And the assessment was proven right seconds later, as Tony Stark disappeared through that portal.

Seconds passed. The longest seconds, that had ever passed in Natasha Romanov's life. Beside her, the god had gone rigid, his breath shallow and his eyes with a maniacal expression, as he watched the portal intently. When the roar of the explosion was heard he huffed out a breath and his face contorted in something akin to the pain of loss. She knew that expression and it was _heart-breaking_ to see it on a man like him.  
When the red and gold metal shell fell from the sky he was there. Teleported under it, in a doomed attempt to slow the fall or at least cushion his landing.  
Around them Chitauri were breaking, dying, but she did not care. She ran towards to spot they would touch down. All the hate she had felt towards Stark these last few days diminished by the look on Loki's face. _Please be alive_ , she prayed and scolded herself for misplaced hope. No one could survive holding a nuclear missile as it went off. No one. Not even Iron Man.

The crater's width neared ten meters, its center embedded deeply into the earth. And in this mess of cracked asphalt there was the broken and battered armor of Iron Man, underneath him the demigod, desperately clutching the unmoving form in his arms, his attempts at opening the faceplate futile under his violently shaking fingers.  
The Avengers approached the scene slowly. All of them feared what they might find. Hulk was the first to reach the two in the middle and did not hesitate to simply rip the faceplate off with a grunt, revealing the still face of Anthony Stark, eyes half-closed and unseeing.

"No..", Loki breathed. And again: "No, no, no... _Tony._.."

He gripped the iron-clad body tighter, shimmering eyes fixed on the mortal's unmoving ones and a hand gently lain on the stubbled cheek.

"Be alive, _I beg you-_ ", his voice broke.

Then Thor did the only sensible thing and summoned lightning down upon them. One bolt was enough to make those eerie eyes flutter open, Tony's gaze once again alive and searching, his breath leaving his blue lips in heavy pants.

"What the hell...what just happened?"

Loki let out a long withheld sob and held him close and kissed him deeply, tears leaving pale streaks on his dirt stained cheeks. Tony leaned into the kiss with a smile, he hadn't realised, but after all the sex they had had, this was their first kiss and it felt as sweet as nothing in the world ever could.  
He had to break it though, oxygen still an issue in his battered body, and so he just let himself be held, smiled and closed his eyes once again.

"I... I'm not feeling so hot."

Natasha closed in on the two and carefully touched Loki's arm, made him loosen his grip without startling him.

"We need to get him to a hospital, fast."

Loki let out a shuddering breath and nodded, swallowing hard.

"Yes, yes. You take him, I have to... go do something."

He let them take Tony off of him, carefully lifting him up without moving him too much.

"Take good care of him, I will rejoin you later."

And with that he was gone.

* * *

The long hospital floor had the sickening white, that was whiter than any white had any right to be, but still had the tint of disease, of death, clinging to it.  
Maybe the fluorescent lights were to blame for that. But all in all, it was just not a comfortable environment to be in, especially not when one was currently fearing for a friend's well-being and desperately awaiting the words that could make things right. Natasha did not like to be helpless in front of anyone. But the least she liked being at the mercy of the _white gods_ , as Clint had dubbed them, much to Thor's confusion. When Tony was finally wheeled out in a wheel-chair he looked like hell. They had never seen the playboy this pale and frail-looking and the smile he sported looked small and afraid.

"Radiation sickness.", he croaked, before any of the accompanying doctors could say something, "I'm going to be alright, just.. groggy.. and stuff."

"We expect nausea, severe headache and probably a fever to kick in in a couple of hours, we will keep him under surveillance for the time being-"

Loki materialised right behind them and rendered the doctor's speech center useless for the time being.

"How is he?", he pressed out, gaze fixed on Tony, as he closed in and fell to his knees in front of the mortal.

" _Now_!", a booming voice could be heard, seemingly coming out of nowhere, and with a sickening screech the walls flickered brightly and the hallway was cut by the same light just behind and in front of Tony and Loki, locking them in. The doctor jumped back just in time.  
A cage.  
Loki flickered golden, but was thrown back with a scream immediately, a look of severe pain on his features, as he tried to get up on hands and knees, still reeling from whatever energy had surged through him at his attempt at teleportation.  
"No.. Loki!", Tony was reeling in his wheel-chair, struggling to stand up, but falling back instantly.  
The god on the floor hissed and threw a venomous glance around.

Natasha was frozen in place just like most of the Avengers, Steve and Thor did not seem shocked, they looked like they had to pee. _Uncomfortable, guilty._ Her eyes scanned the room and found what she was looking for.  
She nudged Hawkeye discretely and pointed out the weak spots in the shield, where its edges were joined, tiny irregularities could be seen. This was not a good trap, but they had all been too emotional to be alert to it. Clint looked at her for a couple of seconds, then to his enemy and the traitor that was in league with the man, that had raped his mind. And he shrugged, pulled out an arrow he had retrieved on the way here, aimed and hit.  
The electrical current surged through the light and it disappeared in ripples.  
Split seconds went by, Loki's gaze found the two of them, a sense of understanding showing in his eyes, and he made a jump for it, grabbed them with both arms, one left one right, and then they fell.

As Natasha came to, she still felt Loki's arm around her waist, the shivering form of the god lying next to her, but the sickening white had been replaced by the dusty gloom of a place out of time.  
Beneath her she could feel the floor creak, as she tried to move. When she finally managed to sit and take in her surroundings she was greeted with long rows of red velvet chairs and richly decorated walls that spoke of lost glory and long forgotten beauty.

An abandoned theatre.

Natasha closed her eyes as she relived their way through the hospital. Sure, she had noticed the irregularities in the paint job, the trap should have been obvious, but it hadn't been, no use beating oneself up over that.

What was important was this: It had been a secondary trap. She remembered better concealed blemishes and a couple of S.H.I.E.L.D agents down by the morgue, as they had passed it quickly. Tony's survival had been a plan B to a plan A.

They had wanted him dead.

A traitor's corpse to lure a mourning god into their trap.


	9. Flayed Minds

It had all happened way too fast. One second Loki was on the floor, reeling, the next he was jumping towards Natasha and Clint, the familiar golden shimmer engulfed them, and gone they were.  
And Anthony Stark was left behind, sitting in a wheel chair, too weak to stand up, too weak to hold in his own piss.  
His mind was not damaged though.

He could still process what he was seeing just fine. And what he saw was two of his comrades freeing the villain they claimed to hate so much and in return being safed by him. A thing Tony understood. They had raised their hands to free him, they would have been done for. Now they were on his side, and he had taken them with him.  
Part of him wanted to be glad. He wasn't the only one on Team Loki anymore. There were more so-called traitors. Hey, they could be their own group now! Just like Loki had wanted to begin with. His own set of allies.  
Yet there was one small but important aspect to the situation, that troubled Tony. Him.  
He had been left behind and was now very, very helpless.  
And then there was this other thing. He knew the location of Loki's hideout. Nothing said he would use it again, he was no idiot. But the fact alone, that he knew of one of the god's hideouts might just be enough for Fury to cause him trouble.

Thor and Steve just stood there, faces blank. Banner was probably still hulking out somewhere. So it was down to those two, if he wanted protection.

"Did you know of this?", his voice was so thin he barely heard himself and he hated it. He wanted to go for _commanding_ , instead he had gotten _near-death_ , still.

Thor was fidgeting, it didn't suit him.

"The fight was done. We needed to contain my brother. I never meant for you to get hurt."

His eyes spoke truth, yet his voice wavered slightly. Sure, he never truly wanted anyone to get hurt. But when it came to his brother, he was willing to make exceptions and Fury could be very persuasive to extract just such an exception from just about anybody.

"Look, Tony.", Steve, "I don't know what happened back there, but you know we can't just let him go. It is only a matter of time till he turns on us again. I can not take that risk."

Tony could not truly blame them for anything. The nuke had been his idea to begin with, sort of. He had only himself to blame for telling those two. And when its course needed to be corrected, the Thunderer had stood down quickly, but again, that did not equal getting him hurt. It was on him. What was not on him, however, was using an injured man as lure. He was _not_ cool with that.

The thought of the look on Loki's face as he realised he had been betrayed, he would never forget it. All he could do was hope that the god did not blame _him_ for it. Flashes of a kiss snuck into his memory and almost made him smile, hadn't they come at such a bitter price. _He had nearly died._  
And Loki had mourned, that and his near-death-experience battled for dominance over his mind.  
Loki and that dear, loving kiss were chased from his thoughts abruptly, as his wheel-chair was moved and a quick glance behind him revealed Fury in all his one-eyed, black-leather glory and Tony's heart sunk.

"Thor, Cap... now would be a good time to take a fellow Avenger home, okay? Stark Tower? Or maybe Malibu? Malibu sounds nice."

Both of them just had pitying stares to give him and from behind Fury laughed.

"You know just as well as I that we still have work to do, Stark. Debriefing awaits."

The last words were said with a malice that made Tony's blood freeze in his veins.

"Seriously, Fury... I am injured here, I need to-", _don't beg_ , "Please let me go...?" _Damn._

He tried to stand, the movement of his wheel-chair did not make it easier and the doomed attempt was only regarded with another laugh and a gloved hand pressed him back down, almost gently.

"We have excellent medical care back in the headquarter, don't worry, Stark."

With one last glance at his two fellow Avengers he finally gave in and let himself be defeated by unconsciousness.

* * *

Clint had awoken soon after and together he an Natasha had managed to bring the half-conscious god backstage, where they found a bed in one of the rooms. Convenient.

"Do you think this was their last hideout?", the Hawk asked.

"Seems like it. It certainly looks lived in. Let's get him onto the bed."

As they had him lying down, rolled over and covered with a blanket ("He looks cold...") they finally sat down next to him and exchanged a long look.

"We are _Starks_ now.", Clint said.

"Traitors, you mean?"

"Yeah. And I have no idea why the hell I let you talk me into this."

Natasha laughed at that.

"I did not say a word. You are well capable of making your own decisions."

"I don't want to be a Stark though. Have you seen, what he did to the guy?"

"Kissed him? Is that what you mean? I don't think he'll try that with you, though."

Clint threw her a look of mock hurt.

"Ouch."

Behind them Loki stirred and tried to sit up.

"You have to go... get him back. Get him back here, before they take him. Please, it's important."

"Shh, keep still. They have already taken him, I'm sure. There is not much we can do now. S.H.I.E.L.D will expect us to come after him. The only shot we have is with your magic, and I am guessing we still have to wait some time for that."

The god only struggled weakly against his blanket, but gave up quickly, as he had to recognize the extent of his fatigue. He was in no fit state to do anything, let alone use magic.

"I... I need him, though. I need him here.", he managed weakly, "I thought him lost to me."

"We will get him back, in time. What is important now is whether or not he knows this place. Fury will interrogate him."

Loki groaned at that. If that was directed at the possibility to be discovered or the interrogation Tony would face, no one could say.

"We need to go get him. We _must_! They blocked my spell, I don't know what else they will be able to do against me. If they suspect me as their enemy, maybe they will not be as alert to your presences."

Natasha doubted that, but she hesitantly agreed to work out a plan with Clint. A plan that did not stack the odds completely against them. Not an easy task.

Loki fell asleep soon after, the strain of the last battle had dug deep into the hollows of his face, he looked all angles and edges, half-starved and very, very tired.

They had decided on a first plan, to begin mission 'Iron-Retriever' (corny name courtesy of Clint Barton) and wasted no time entering stage one.

Stage one, also known as 'Awaken the Dragon', proved easier than expected, keeping in mind the coma like state Loki was in. He woke easily enough.  
On to stage two of the plan.  
'Food for the Gods'  
Easy. Loki worked his little concealment magic and shifted himself into the form of a doe-eyed yound woman. An act, that did not require his usual magic, but worked on an inert power he had since birth. Fine by them. They then proceeded to buy food, a lot of it, with a credit card Natasha had nicked earlier.  
They then went on to stage three, as in 'Batcave' (Clint got tired) and they did not need to search for long. Amusing enough, an abandoned movie theater caught Loki's eye and so it was settled.  
Natasha argued that it was too similar and not far away enough, too easily figured out.

"Do they really think me this stupid? Or you, for that matter?"

And Loki was right, they probably didn't.

So they had found a new home, and they had food.  
Mission accomplished.  
Loki would have liked to do more, but even he could not deny the strain their little adventure had put on him and it would not do, to expect more from mere mortals than he did from himself. So he let them rest, huddled into comfortably cushioned, dark blue cinema chairs.

Tomorrow though, tomorrow they would get Tony back.

* * *

The nausea had come just as the doctor had promised. Along with it came a skull-splitting headache, which on its own would have rendered him helpless. And then there was the fever that was spiking higher and higher and effectively left him a weakened mess piled up in the corner of his tiny cell.

And then there was the noise.  
The music was blaring at a near-deafening volume, the repetitive rhythm and shrill vocals pounded his head-ache-stricken mind mercilessly, and all he wanted to do was die.  
Pressing desperate hands onto his ears did not do much to dampen the sound. It still left him vibrating with the aggressive bass tune, that turned his stomach inside out, along with the pre-existing case of nausea he owed to the radiation sickness.

The light was another thing. It was blinding and never stood still. There were colours too, stroboscope light flashed in irregular pattern and all he could think was "I am about to faint." over and over again, and then "Why am I not fainting?".

Why wasn't he? His systems were awash with stimulants, the occasional downer here and there to keep him from having a stroke, oh sweet mercy that was.

When they had come the first time he had expected to be interrogated.  
He knew it was too early. He was suffering, but he was not broken.  
They hadn't come to interrogate. They had come for something different and one short glance at the piece of cloth and bucket of water was enough to drive deep terror into every fiber of his being.  
He remembered distantly how he had freaked, started to scream, had tried to get away. All in vain. As they had bent him backwards over the sorry excuse for a bed, covered his mouth and nose with the damp rag and poured water over his face, nothing in the world could have saved his sanity. The horror when he felt his throat close up, the violent gagging against water-masses that were not there, he had been thrashing in their vise-like grips, fighting with everything he had, but hopelessly in vain.  
Then it had stopped and he had lain there, eyes open and unseeing, his breath coming in violent pants and the faint memory of a loving kiss on his lips had disappeared into the void, drowned by the pain, the terror of this, and he had cried.

Then the music had started again and the lights had come back on and he threw up water until there was nothing left.  
That's what it must feel like to be electrocuted in slow motion. All the impulses were beating him up, thrashing him around, and the only time it would stop, they would resume their other kind of torture. The wet one, that made him die over and over again.  
That was the rhythm they had set for him. _Over and over again._

By now he was begging to be interrogated.  
Loki would be alright, wouldn't he? They had probably moved by now, for sure. It would not harm anybody to tell Fury, right? He would feed him the useless truth if he wanted it. He did not know more than this anyway, right?  
But Fury did not ask. Maybe he didn't think him broken enough. Maybe he wanted to be sure. And so the vicious rhythm resumed over and over and over and over again and all Anthony Stark wanted was peace, stillness. Death.

It might have been days, might have been minutes, when he was finally moved.  
They entered his cell with lots of harsh shouts and barked commands, before he could even begin to comprehend what was happening they had already gripped him under the arms and dragged him out like a ragdoll.  
He was thrown into a nearly empty room, only one very comfortable looking armchair stood by the wall, facing the door he had just been hauled through.

"Have a seat.", the all too familiar voice of Nick Fury suggested. Not 'commanded', not even 'asked'... suggested. Like one might suggest an old friend might want another cup of tea.

The tortured mind of Tony Stark complied and he slowly scrambled towards the seductive piece of furniture.  
It gave in as he slumped into it, the soft cushioning was a balm on his strained limbs, the sweet, sweet silence the song of salvation for his ears and the dim light in the room was ready to let dearly needed sleep take him into her arms.

"Uh, not yet!", warned Fury and motioned for someone to sound a horn.

Tony jerked up, the sudden movement shaking battered body and mind alike.

Fury gripped him by the neck of the hospital gown he was still in and pulled him closer, eye to eye.

"Where is he."

The tiny moment of serenity had prompted an unwanted flashback, and suddenly there had been a body behind him, arms around him and the steady breath of another against his neck.  
He wanted to say it, he really wanted to. But there was the one memory he liked to believe had kept him sane so far, and he did not feel like soiling it with his betrayal.  
He had never been one for diplomacy, and so he spat in Fury's face.  
A thing he should not have done, but he knew that, of course.

He was left alone then. And each time sleep tempted him, the horn's uproar tore him apart limb by limb until there was nothing left but a pile of flesh and bones, loosely held together by the last strings of sanity. Sweet darkness, mind-flaying noise, gentle stillness, gut-wrecking chaos... it went on and on. He could not cry anymore. His face contorted, but there were no tears left to accompany the dry sobs that shook his body and he screamed, his throat sore and hoarse from the last session of waterboarding he had endured.

Nothing in the world could drive fear into him like the horn could. In this room it became the enemy, the satan that brought hell upon him. He dreaded its sound, knew when it would come. The intervals were nearly steady, off only by seconds. The fearful anticipation had him rigid and unbreathing, only to fall into a fit of hyperventilation when the sound hit.  
When Fury came again, someone had removed the top of Tony's head and let the brain sizzle in the comfortable warmth of the room. It felt raw and exposed, ready to be picked and poked at. Fury could see right inside anyway, why bother speaking. Yet when the director asked Tony answered. He started with an empty warehouse and ended in a soul-consuming kiss in the midst of dying monsters and burning skyscrapers.

He told him everything.


	10. The Iron Retriever

Aaaah, careful! You're hurting me."

Natasha frowned in concentration, willing herself to ignore the pain.

"I'm almost in, steady now. Stop wriggling!"

If he had known she would be such a sissy about this, Clint would have refused, he told himself. But then again, she had always known how to get everything she wanted from him.  
Loki sat beside them, his face showed mild interest in their activities, he did not feel the need to join them in it, though.

"There, got it.", Hawkeye finally exclaimed, holding a tiny piece of equipment in a pair of tweezers he had just pulled out of a tiny wound in Natasha's ankle.

"Some piece of advice. Don't let anyone tag you. Way too easy to be used against you."

"Well, let's just hope it got as fried in the teleport as our little test suggested."

"We couldn't trace Stark's phone after he was taken, right?

"But it still worked, he called his AI."

Loki shifted in his seat, drawing the attention to himself.

"Whether they can track you or not, my shield is strong enough to keep them out now. If they even manage to work through the disinterest this place should trigger in them, that is. There are more important things that need to be done at the moment."

"We know!", Hawkeye snapped at him. "Stark needs to be saved from the evil claws of Fury, which is obviously a trap set for you. It was before, it will be again. Fury wants the Tesseract more than anything, he needs to go through you to get it, and he will. And to get to you, he needs Tony, whom he has. So unless you want to play directly into his hands, you better relax and let us figure something out."

The rant was rewarded with a glare, but Loki wasn't as stupid as to go rushing into S.H.I.E.L.D's headquarters, as his heart was so ready to suggest. He knew they were right, yet it did not do much to quell his anxiety. He needed Tony, and he needed him unbroken.  
He had been reminded of that, as the battered body had hung in his arms and he had thought the man lost. Everything had fallen apart in that moment, he could not allow anything like it to happen again, no matter what.

"Do your scheming then, and get on with it. If you need anything, let me know."

His voice sounded rough with held anger. Not a sound he was used to in himself. He felt like screaming, but knowing that the two mortals in his care would not take kindly to it, he kept silent and quietly gnashed his teeth instead.

The Black Widow and Hawkeye, one of the- Scratch that. _The_ deadliest team earth has ever seen, it would be a disgrace for their kind, if they couldn't figure out a way to do this.  
But they had, despite Loki's nagging, all it took was time.  
They had started by stealing equipment, taking full advantage of Loki's oh so convenient 'Don't look at me'-spell.  
Then they had begun hacking and faking messages, infiltrating and communicating.  
And somehow they had managed to bring HYDRA and A.I.M to the table, uniting them against the common threat that S.H.I.E.L.D faced and it was only a matter of time until they would have readied their troups and were going to attack the Helicarrier that currently held Stark

It _also_ was only a matter of time, until the two would figure out, that S.H.I.E.L.D did not in fact have the Tesseract in their possession. They had to move quick now. If the distraction was severe enough and with half the Avengers gone and not one, but _two_ super villainous terrorist organisations at their door step, the hit should prove distracting enough for two master-assassins to sneak in and retrieve Tony.  
That was the plan and in their minds, it sounded good enough to do the trick. Now the only thing left to do was to hope that the two highly unpredictable parties would react as planned. It would not do to have them fighting against each other on Fury's doorstep, the super-spy standing by and laughing his ass off at his enemies' failure. Which may also provide a distraction of sorts, but not the kind they were hoping for.

When they _did_ hit, they hit hard. Luckily the HQ was still around, probably desperately trying to find them, and so they did not have to move this far.  
The Helicarrier had crashed, two of it's giant rotors taken out by missiles from octopi-shaped submarine-robot-thingies. It did not look good for _them_ , but could not have been better for the two infiltrators. Entering an aircraft would have proven quite the challenge, even for the best of the best, now they simply had to hijack a smal motor boat and get close enough without taking a rogue missile to the hull.  
They managed to do so just fine and it wasn't long until they could sneak onto the asphalt landing place that made up most of the carriers surface. From there on it became difficult.  
Chaos or no, their faces were well-known to be hostile by now and so they decided to take it slow, stayed in the shadows, until they managed to subdue two S.H.I.E.L.D-agents in full battle gear, including helmets. That would do nicely.  
They continued to scuttle through the seemingly endless hallways on their way to the hostile containment area. What they found were the usual suspects, that had been caught recently and no one had had the time to process on to the Raft for long term containment, with the Chitauri invasion and all.

No Stark, though.

They managed to get hold of one of the agents out of battle gear, probably a newbie or responsible for this place. None of them had seen him before.

"We are to extract Stark for emergency transport. Where is he currently being held?"

The man looked startled.

"He.. isn't he in interrogation or something? I haven't seen him for hours, he is probably in interrogation, still.. yes..."

Newbie or in dire need of firing, definitely.  
The two infiltrators thanked the man with curt nods and let him proceed with his task, which apparently featured scrambling around in imitation of decapitated poultry.

They knew the place interrogation usually took place and they hoped, they hadn't come too late. Fury had tried to capitalize on Tony's demise, that much they knew. The idea with the nuke had saved them all, but it had come at a high prize. Fury must have known of the plan before it came to fruition. Natasha expected the Captain to be behind this. Always eager to please his superiors, wasn't he. She doubted he had known what would become of the information he had given the director so willingly. She knew he meant well. That did not change the fact, that it had led to the capture of Stark instead of Loki and if Fury suspected his captive to know anything about the Tesseract and its whereabouts, he might not be stopped by petty things like the Geneva Conventions and such restricting devices, seeing as he had already so conveniently dubbed Loki's theft of the cube a declaration of war.

When they found Tony he was curled in on himself in an armchair. Natasha knew that particular interrogation room, knew what it was commonly used for, and she dreaded to get any closer.  
They did not have time for such hesitation, though, so she pulled herself together and saved the horror for later.  
They needed to get him out of here.  
He looked like hell. Pale, sickly, his face sunken in and when they motioned to pick him up he jerked awake, eyes wide in terror. They quickly opened the visors on their helmets and he relaxed instantly.

"Oh hell, you're late!"

Never too messed up to be a smart-ass, though his tone suggested otherwise.  
They did not waste time on a lengthy reunion, instead they grabbed him by the arms and made a run for it.  
Tony was too weak to support his own weight and so they had to drag him, arms around their shoulders.

In the chaos of the attack they managed to get all the way to the hangar without anyone recognizing them. It wasn't until they had hijacked a quinjet, that the agitated voice of Nick Fury blared across the helicarrier, ordering the hit on Widow and Hawkeye, should they be seen extracting the captive. ' _Too late, old pirate_.' Natasha thought to herself and could not help recognizing Tony's voice within these words.

They managed to close the airlock and get the already running vehicle up in the air before the assault started.  
If any of them had been in any way spiritually _deeper_ than they were they might have called it a miracle that none of the three parties firing away at them hit their target. Tony would later blame it on his involuntary design input regarding the quinjets S.H.I.E.L.D liked to use.  
The cloaking device worked perfectly and they managed to set her down in the courtyard behind the movie theatre they currently inhabited and let her roll the last few meters into an empty garage that accompanied the run-down building.

As they half-carried the once-again unconscious genius through the back entrance they were greeted by their resident trickster god rushing towards them.

"Is he alive?!"

He did not wait for an answer, instead he all but ripped Tony from their grip and proceeded to carry him inside, the head cradled in the nook of his neck.

"We think he has been deprived of sleep for means of torture. He needs to sleep now, badly."

Natasha tried her best to keep up with Loki without running.

"We don't know what else Fury has done to him, better be safe than sorry."

The god nodded as he laid the unmoving body down on one of the cinema chairs, that had been broken into a horizontal position alongside several others to create a comfortable flat surface to lie on. He motioned Hawkeye to get him one of the blankets from their bedroom, not even caring to lock eyes with him, as he issued the command. His gaze was fixed on the sick being in front of him, that has now instinctively curled up by his side, brow furrowed in his sleep and wincing at every little movement and noise.

Clint returned with not one, but _all_ the blankets soon after, figuring how they probably had to move camp to be close to Loki anyway. They would need all the magical shielding they could get, now that Fury would really be on their asses after the attack.  
If there was a S.H.I.E.L.D left, that is.  
None of them had thought about that, had they? No use worrying about it now.  
 _Better safe than sorry._ There's no such thing as overkill.

Natasha and Clint went to sleep soon after. Tony didn't seem to be severely injured and there was no immediate action that could be taken, so they left the task of watching over him to Loki, who gladly sat vigil over his lover. At least that's what Tony seemed to be to him. Natasha hadn't asked, Loki did not seem to be the kind of person that took kindly to people prodding at his personal life.

Tony awoke with a start.  
He had slept, and from the way his limbs tingled it must have been a long period of time. His eyes failed to find anything that would have helped placing himself in any location he knew, from his limited point of view, that is. It was dark and all he could see were shadows. The fabric underneath him felt familiar, yet it was all off, all just that little bit different, rendering him unable to put his finger on the realisation.

He struggled to obtain a sitting position, hands were there, gripping him by the shoulders in a firm yet gentle hold. No matter the nature of the grasp, it reminded him and he freaked.  
He was then pushed back into the cushioned surface, his legs got tangled in a blanket as he kicked frantically and it scared him even more, to be constricted, to be caught and held. He cried out, tried to lash at the man holding him down, but his blows were taken without effect.

He heard his name called out, but his mind denied him all recognition, which he was sure would have come to him, if he weren't so.. he knew that voice. Exhaustion finally stilled his resistance and he was left to struggle helplessly, as he felt tears streaking his face, again. The hands on his shoulders loosened their grip and he turned to his side to hide his shame, his helplessness.

"Tony, snap out of it.", he heard that voice again, a female voice. "It's us. Natasha, Clint, Loki. You know us, we won't hurt you. You are safe now, please understand this. No one is going to hurt you."

It toke some seconds for the words to sink in. His mind could be playing tricks on him, a sick hallucination, the next stage of the torment. But he had given Fury all he had, had he not? He had betrayed-  
He had betrayed Loki. He couldn't face him, not like this.  
His mind traveled back a couple of seconds to the hands that had held him so effortlessly, that must have been him.

"No...", he finally managed to press out. More to himself than to anyone in the room.

A hand brushed his shoulder, but was pulled away almost instantly.

"We better leave him alone until he's ready.", the woman ( _Natasha?_ ) whispered.

"We should give him something to eat, he looks starved.", a man. Hawkeye... could it be?

"Food? Seriously? You have a traumatised man in front of you and you want to make it better by.. what... feeding him pizza?"

"What? It would be a start. He needs sustenance, or else he won't be traumatised for long, he'll be _dead_!"

"Would you stop your quarreling or take it elsewhere? He needs quiet, I think."

Silence ensued. Silence, in which his back was stared at and everyone waited for him to do something. He did not even dare to breathe.

"He is not broken, is he?", Loki.

"They certainly tried to break him. He just needs time to recuperate."

"And food."

"Stop it with the food already!", she hissed.

Then again, silence.

"Tony. Could you... could you try to talk to us? We will leave you alone, if that is what you wish, just tell me if you're... broken."

There was anxiety in the god's voice, it was... weird.

"You mortals break so easily."

He would have overheard the last sentence, hadn't it been for the eerie silence that lay over them all.  
They would not go away, it seemed. Might as well, you know, talk.

"I-", he croaked. Damn, he sounded like hell. "I don't want to talk about it."

He could practically hear their disappointment.

"I will be alright, eventually.", he added in hopes of shutting them up, "Food might be a good idea, though I don't know if I can keep it down."

He rolled over and onto his back and faced them, warily. Those stares.  
His mind had started to clear itself from the haze these last few days had left him in. Those looked like the Black Widow, Hawkeye and Loki. Time to relax, probably. He remembered the moment those three had disappeared and suddenly he was angry, so very angry.

"Where the hell have you been?!"

They just exchanged looks like they knew something he didn't.

"Loki was weakened, we had to bide our time to... plan, you know. We couldn't just rush in through Fury's front door and take you, you know that.", Natasha explained, but she looked pained doing so.

"Do you think it was easy to leave you there? Sick as you were?", Hawkeye narrowed his eyes at him, obviously annoyed.

Loki said nothing.  
He didn't even try to defend himself and it was maddening, the even gaze and the slightest hint of a smile on his lips.

"You are not broken.", he finally uttered, quietly, quelling all the rage that had started to build up in Tony's stomach with those simple words.

A tiny noise that sounded suspiciously lika a sob made it out Tony's mouth and he hid his face between both hands, as emotions took him once again, wrecking his body in a crying fit. This time he let himself be held, protected.  
He slid his arms around the other and sought comfort in the strong chest that he was being cradled against. Soothing words were spoken, all of which held no meaning to him, but helped calm his mind nonetheless. And with the soft strokes on his back and Loki's gentle voice at his ear he eventually drifted of again, to sleep some more. To forget the horrors he had lived through, the pain that had been dealt to his mind. Right at this moment he was safe, that was all that counted


	11. Loki's Cube

Time had passed, sleep had been had and so had food.  
Tony's take on reality was still a foggy one. He had a hard time figuring out the proper time to sleep and as much as they had tried to help him, he felt lost in this weird alternate reality, that they had been caught in.

The stolen equipment proved even more useful to him than it had been to Natasha and Clint and soon, with the addition of some choice pieces of technology, they had their little lair decked out in all things necessary to keep them in the loop. It had felt good to bury himself in work, and he was more than proud when he could finally present them with his creation.

The outdated film projector up high in the back had been replaced and soon they were watching the news in brilliant HD on the big screen.  
Even Loki could not help but be impressed.

That was until all four of their faces were featured and tales of the new _super-villain syndicate_ were spoken.  
It took them some seconds to realize, that this was actually directed at _them_.  
Apart from mentioning the super-evil god Loki and two ruthless assassins they seemed to focus the most on the downfall of one Anthony Stark, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist.

Of course they did. They always loved it, when the big ones came tumbling down. His tower was shown, the lights dimmed and all power running into keeping the place secure.

And then there was Pepper. She covered her face as she tried to escape a couple of especially obtrusive journalists.  
The second her hand went down to steady herself as she had tripped the frame was held. Tears could be seen and the scene was dubbed with no other words than " _Shame of a co-conspirator_ ".

It drove Tony mad to an extent, he would not have thought possible.  
He was used to his own name being dragged through the mud at every given occasion. But no one, _no one_ was allowed to lay a hand on his most trusted companion.

"We need to get her here with us."

Contained rage was evident in his voice, but he did not care. He might as well scream, no one could expect him to stand for this. No way in hell.

"And then what?", the Widow asked. "Then she won't be a co-conspirator, she'd be a _super-villain_ like us."

"We'll bring them down, don't worry."

Clint. How could he sound so carefree? Oh, right. He did not have anyone to worry about. What right did he have to even speak about this?

Loki did not say anything. Well, he was probably used to being denunciated, from what they had heard. Still, the god wrapped a protective arm around Tony's shoulders and hushed him.

"You will have your revenge. Maybe it is time we got you to work, everything else will fall in line as it shall, you will see."

He offered one of the genuine smiles, that were so rare and precious that it could make everything right, and did so this time.  
Tony's rage wavered and disappeared and he allowed himself to melt into Loki's embrace.  
One last grudging glance at the screen showed footage of the fight against the Chitauri.

" _The former Avengers, that had fallen in line with the corrupter Loki, had destroyed the efforts from within, rendering valiant Captain America unable to reach his full potential on the battlefield, as he was forced to stand up against his own, in this vicious fight for thousands of civilians' safety, here in the middle of New York. Thankfully, the First Avenger's spirit and-_ "

The blond bimbo on the screen was shut up by an emphatic gesture with the remote control, courtesy of Natasha Romanov, who did not feel like waiting for the next segment, most likely about to dub her the new communist threat or anything of that kind. She did not need that right now.

"Get me to work, you said. On what exactly? More security for the place?"

Tony could use the distraction.

"No, not that kind of work. This is more, a lot more important. You remember the Tesseract, right?"

Everyone tensed visibly. They remembered alright.

"I hid it in a pocket dimension, accessible only to me. I need a way to harvest its power, and I can not do that alone. Selvig also failed horribly, but he is no Tony Stark now, is he."

A sly smile graced his lips, but Tony did not fall for it.

"Flattery? Really? I think the opportunity to work with this thing will be rewarding enough, no need to lull me in, _Silvertongue_."

Loki winced slightly at the name, but regained composure quickly.

"What I was trying to say is, technology has failed the Tesseract. If anything, it had made it hostile. My magic together with your skill might achieve complete control of its might. We need a harness, that is strong enough to control the immense energy that lies within and allows us to withdraw just the amount we need. That is the hard part. We can make it do things, sure. But control, that is something different."

"But Selvig seemed to be doing alright, wasn't he? The portal-"

"The portal was the main function the Tesseract has. That was child's play. Tell it what to do and it will do so, with the help of the arc reactor in Stark Tower, not a problem. What we need is its pure energy, which it uses to create portals. It is its own energy source, but it is meant to use its own energy for means of transportation. So we have to trick it into giving us what we want, and that will be quite a respectable task."

"A challenge.", Tony added, a grim look of determination on his face. "I like challenges, bring it on."

"I also have a surprise for you. Follow me."

With this Loki got up and went towards the side entrance they knew to lead to an old basement none of them wanted to use, not even for storage. As Loki opened the door, though, there was the little shimmer about the edges of the doorframe and somehow all of them knew that if you entered, you would not find yourself in the dank and dark hallway that could be seen through the flimmering air.

"Go on, try it.", he urged them on, and they complied.

The result was physically uncomfortable, but all that was forgotten to Tony, as he recognized his _home_ , his workshop.

"Are we...?", he turned around himself, dumbfounded. "Are we actually in Stark Tower? Or did you move this whole thing... Ah, I don't care what you did, it's perfect!"

Loki laughed at that, pleased that his surprise had gone over so well.

"So, I take it you have everything you need here. I suggest I start by introducing you to _her_ , you need to know the basic functioning of the Tesseract, before I can let you tinker with her."

"Fair enough.", Tony nodded.

He was not prepared for what followed. Another portal was opened and when he opened his eyes after an impressive pull, that seemed larger in scale than any transportation he had endured by the hands of Loki, he saw what could best be described as void.  
It did look like space, but there where no stars, there was not even darkness, nor light. It was an eerie feeling, one, his mortal mind was not made to comprehend.  
Loki realised as much, shortly after they had entered and took his hand, gave him something to focus on.

"Follow me."

The voice made up all the space, which was not hard to do, since there was nothing else in it. The air seemed breathable enough, maybe Loki had done that for him. Probably, yes. But apart from that there was nothing, and when the voice had sounded, it had become the room they were in, in a weird way.  
Suddenly the whole _being-a-god_ thing about Loki seemed much more real and Tony wondered, if his own voice would have the same effect.

"Pudding.", he exclaimed and was rewarded with his voice, entwined with Loki's, being the essence of the room, before it faded into nothingness and left his focus shifting back on the other man, who eyed him curiously.

"Seriously, Stark?"

All Tony had to offer was a goofy grin. He got curious, so what.

The space's edged could not be made out by his human mind, but he reckoned it could not be that big. After all Loki had called it a pocket, so it was probably an interdimensional storage room at best. And in its middle there was _she_. He hadn't known the power source had a gender, let alone a personality, but after Loki was finished with his introduction, Tony could not help but feel overwhelmed by the scale of it all.

Mechanics he knew. Energy, he had come to know, through the creation of the arc reactor. Even gamma radiation he could handle, it all had set rules in which it could work. This was different.  
This was magical, and he struggled to put his finger on exactly how he should be able to find a technological approach to it.  
What Selvig had done obviously hadn't impressed Loki at all. So he would really need to step up his game.  
High expectations. He liked to impress people, but with expectations such as these, that might just be impossible, and he did not like the feeling of struggling to keep up.

"So, you're a god.", he said instead and immediately felt stupid.

He was not rewarded with an answer. All he got was a raised eyebrow and a mocking smile.

"Out of your league already, _futurist_?"

"Well, yes. Sort of.", he admitted. No use veiling the truth in face of the liesmith himself. "I'll figure it out, eventually. Do you have anything to work with yet? About the technology and magic thing? Because that is what I am struggling with. How does it work, what makes it tick. Without knowing this, I can't really design anything."

"Hm. I think I might just have to start a little lower then."

Tony did not like the condescending tone in Loki's voice. But then again, he'd have to manage. He should be honoured to even be considered to be of use, should he not?  
So he simply nodded a thanks.

"Let's head back then. We can do everything else in your lab."

"Workshop.", Tony corrected and followed meekly.

This was his childhood all over again and he could not help but frown at the connection his mind had made between Loki and his father.  
The only difference being the fact that Loki was actually willing to teach him and believed in his inert abilities. Oh, and he sort of slept with Loki, that was different, too.

* * *

Tony had always been a quick thinker. Adopting new thought constructs had never been an issue. And as much as he enjoyed building car engines and the like, his mind had never had any troubles understanding abstract physical concepts. And now magic. The stuff had driven him insane in the beginning. But the more Loki talked about it, the more sense it made. And at some point Tony even jumped up and started tinkering away and when Loki was done with his explanation of a certain aspect that allowed him to channel magic, Tony presented him with his first magitechnical gadget.

"What does it do?", Loki asked mildly interested.

"It beeps when you use magic.", Tony could not help the beaming smile that had crept onto his face.

"That is all it does?"

"Don't be a buzzkill, Loki. This is not actually of any use. Well. Not of much use anyway. See it as a kind of stepping stone to something bigger. I now have somewhere to work from! Magic and technology, together. In this little thing."

This was exciting! Tony couldn't help but hop around a little, his limbs atingle with the strange sensation of accomplishment and he felt his pants tighten slightly at the feeling of pride- Wait, that wasn't right. _Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-_  
That was actually quite an obnoxious sound, he might have to change that later. Loki laughed.

"At least it works, well done."

"Did you-... did you just turn me on with magic?!"

That was _not_ cool.

"Obviously. It worked, too, did it not?"

"That's... you don't do that! It's... you know... violating.", he tried to look hurt, but Loki's crotch was too distracting. "Stop it!"

"I did, or do you still hear your little gadget? Everything now is only you.. your choice..you mortals like making your own decisions, don't you?"

That smug bastard and his stupid, sexy voice.

Tony growled at him, Loki replied with a feline hiss. That was awkward. Shouldn't this be awkward? Damn this was hot.

Tony did not waste time and approached the god. He wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck and crushed their mouths together. The kiss spoke of insatiable hunger and feral lust and neither of them seemed to mind the little beep that went off, as Loki palmed the others manhood through the fabric of his pants, his hand aglow with a lively shimmer that gave of a strange mixture of pulsating vibration and an intense tingly feeling.

Tony could not withhold the guttural groan that escaped his lips at the foreign sensation, that seemed to do all the right things to him. Bad things. His body was already bathed in heat and he could not get his clothes off fast enough.

"Fuck me, now!", he commanded, his voice dripping with lust and need. The energy that coiled in his groin demanded to be fed, pleasured, made to explode in a ball of white heat. He could not wait.

The smug look on Loki's face did not change that. If the god wanted to hear him beg, he would get it. He would get on his knees and beg for that cock, if the god demanded it so.

The god did not. He did however rid himself of his leather tunic and everything underneath and helped Tony with his belt, that his fumbling fingers had failed to open. Two strong hand slid in behind him and gripped his cheeks, lifting him up and onto the workbench, which Tony cleared of the usual clutter in a careless swipe of one arm, before he made a point in lying down, his feet propped up on the edge of the table, his knees spread wide. He offered himself to the man that towered above him in all his glory, and it felt good.

Loki seemed to be in a teasing mood, as he edged closer, let his leather-clad groin meet with Tony's naked skin. The man beneath him moaned at the sensation of cold leather on his own sensitive, heated flesh. The hardness underneath the fabric was maddening and he wondered for a split second, what it would feet like to be fucked like this, but the pants were way too tight to allow this kind of kinky games and besides, he wanted to see what would enter him. He longed for the sight of Loki's cock. _Glorious_ , he thought briefly and had to snort at the thought of a _glorious cock_. But then again, he was talking about Loki here. If the label would fit anyone's genitalia, it would be that guy's.  
The man in question proceeded to rub himself against him playfully, a mean smirk on his lips, as he watched Tony come undone at that simple touch.

Suddenly the hand was back on his cock, the same magic around it as before, and then there was the intense pleasure that made his mind tumble over and then, a stop-  
"A magical cockring?! Are you serious?", Tony panted, as he smashed the frantically beeping device on the floor, where it broke and stilled.

"I would like you to have a little more...Stamina. I am used to longer loveplay, than you could provide, so far."

"Pff, it was always good enough to make you come."

"I did not want to hurt your feelings."

Loki's tone suggested otherwise, yet he leaned down, chests flush against one another's, and drowned Tony's complaints in a passionate kiss. When his tongue drove deeper into his mouth, however, there was a flash, a memory. The tiniest hint of gagging against something, and Tony freaked.  
He pushed Loki away with as much force as he could muster and struggled to get off the table.

"Sorry, sorry..I need to.. air, I need air."

He did not know if Loki followed him or not, as he quickly threw on some clothes, a challenge with the raging hard-on he was still sporting, and hurried outside to the landing place.  
As cold air hit his face he realized how hot he was, he must be glowing red. God, this was so embarassing. He rubbed his face angrily and found tears on the way. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._  
He crouched down with the sudden need to be small, invisible, and burried his face in his knees. What the hell was happening to him.

Then there was Loki. He got down behind him and stroked his back, unsure of what to do, what had happened.

"I don't understand.", he uttered as softly as he could manage.

"It's nothing, I... Just now that... That had reminded me of something, something bad.. that's all."

"Is it something Fury did?", there was a trace of anger in his voice.

"Yes. Let's not talk about it, okay? I don't... I can't...", he heard his voice break against his will, and then there were more tears and he _hated_ it so much.

Strong armed were wrapped around him and a cool hand pressed down on his forehead. Then he felt calm, as the unusual chill seemed to draw all the heat from him, all the troubled rage and fear that had accumulated and he was finally able to breathe again. They sat like this for a couple of minutes, until Tony felt strong enough to support his own weight and stand up. Loki arose next to him.

"I am so sorry, this should not have happened.", Tony apologized.

"It's alright. You mortals are so easy to break.", there was a melancholy in those words, that almost broke Tony's heart. Worry laced Loki's gaze, as it wandered over him, as if unsure, whether he was truly alright or whether he would break down again any second.

"I'm not broken! I'm just... there are still so many memories. You can't imagine."

Loki offered the saddest smile Tony had ever seen.

"Try approaching me with a needle in hand, then try saying that again."

Tony couldn't help but shudder at the implication. He had read about the myths, yet there were some he hoped had been fabricated over time. Sadly, this particular one did not seem to fall in that category.  
He reached for Loki's hand and together they went back inside.

_

The sex they had was slow and gentle, all sweet and shallow kisses and light touches. Loki had taken the magical barrier off of him and it wasn't long until Tony clutched his shoulders and shuddered as he was driven over the edge by the slow rhythm and loving touch. It was the weirdest orgasm he ever had in his life, he decided. He had yet to decide whether it was good-weird or bad-weird, but it certainly did not feel wrong. Loki was not there yet, Tony could tell, and he helped him along with upward thrusts of his hips until he felt the body on top of him tighten, a shivering moan on his lips and a familiar warmth spilled inside of him.

They held each other close for minutes, sharing the intimacy to its full extent, until none of them could ignore that they were in fact still sprawled on a workbench any longer, so they slowl disentangled themselves from each other, got dressed and ready to rejoin their fellow super-villains.

They had shared more than bodily fluids today, and both of them knew, this was more than the mere need to escape from the horrors of their situation.  
None of them was willing to put a name tag on it just yet, but they smiled at each other, and they knew.

 _Wordless understanding._ As if the sudden deal with magic in his technology wasn't creepy enough.

Tony sighed.


	12. Vindicator's Hand

Time flew by in a wonderful blur of motor oil, coffee and magic.  
When they were not currently working on the Tesseract, which Loki would not leave unattended in Tony's presence, he had plenty of time to fix his suit and enhance it with a couple of nifty gadgets, that his unmagical mind would have never thought of before.  
He did not sleep much, but then again, that was always the case, when work had its iron grip on him and every little thing had him motivated to find out more.  
He preferred not to sleep. He did not want to talk about it, how it affected him.

He had tried to shower. Once.  
He never dared try again.  
Loki had not been there and so he had been left to deal with it by himself, which he preferred. Sure, Loki could make it all better, but he did not like to feel weak. He despised it with a passion and vengeance that drove all his resources into the building of his suit. _Make me better, make me stronger._  
If feeling vulnerable did anything to him, it was helping him in his pursuit of power, which was a good thing. Right?

Loki would always clean them both up after they had sex. An easy gesture to him, just a little ripple of magic and everything would be sparkling clean. He couldn't say if the god actually noticed anything, but if he did, he didn't comment.  
All Tony got was the occasional sniff, accompanied by an appreciative hum. Well, if motor oil and sweat were alright for the god, no need to feel bad about it. It would resolve itself eventually, _the problem_ , that is.

And Tony had to admit, whenever they had worked on the Tesseract, the distinct smell of ozone in the air, mingled with the scent of Loki's own magic, earthy and dark like patchoulie, it did turn him on aswell.  
He huffed at the thought of motor oil as his very own magical agent, the very scent of his work. It was a nice way of putting it. And after-Tesseract sex was always the best anyway.

After some time, however, they were met with the same difficulties Selvig had faced.  
Lack of materials.

"Any idea where we might find some more iridium without juicing someone's eye?"

Loki bristled at that.  
He did not seem to like being reminded of the things he had done. Tony was sure, he did not feel the same sort of regret a human might feel, but sometimes it seemed like he was ashamed of the way he had carried himself in the first few days on earth. He liked to blame it on the fear of the Chitauri, he did not seek Loki's confirmation of that theory however. When the god was ready to talk about it he probably would, before that, sleeping dogs and stuff.

"There is one artefact here on Midgard. It is from Asgard originally, but I doubt your people know this. It is a shield, made of pure iridium and able to withstand Surtur's fires. It's called _Vindicator's hand_ and i believe it might be the inspiration behind that Steven Rogers' famed shield, though a lot less flashy. As far as I know it is one of the artefacts S.H.I.E.L.D had gotten their hands on in your World War II. If we are lucky they still have it lying around somewhere."

"S.H.I.E.L.D again, huh."

He could not pretend to be happy about that. Maybe that would be the time of his revenge, but it still troubled him, the mere thought of going back.

"I need to get my suit up and running, if we are going to storm in there and steal it."

Loki flashed an obscene grin at him. Something you really did not see often.

"Is that a hint of murderous intent I see in your eyes, man of iron? It might be easier to infiltrate, you know."

"Tss, who cares about subterfuge when you have firepower to spare. We are going in guns blazing and that's that. And I do not mean going on a killing spree, we just get inside, get the shield and get out. Proving a point, waving our superiority around... you know, the usual. I don't want blood on my hands."

The look on Loki's face bordered on disappointment, but he didn't try to argue.

"Do we include the other two?", he asked instead.

"They can hold their own in a fight, but Thor and Captain are probably going to be there, maybe the Hulk. Better not take any risks. We really don't want to give them another captive."

Loki nodded in agreement and so it was decided.

Clint and Natasha insisted on flying the quinjet, which was actually not such a bad idea, since the Widow was a mean driver and excellent pilot, and the occasional arrow fired from the airlock might help their cause a lot. The important thing was that none of the two got too close.

Tony's mark eight had been ready for days, but still some final improvements had to be made, and so it took them another day until the plan came to fruition.  
Which was not that bad either, Natasha did a little recon as she hacked into an institution closely linked to S.H.I.E.L.D and found their security tightened impressively. They would not be as open as they had been last time, but then again, this was no stealth mission.

The biggest problem they faced was the fact, that they had no idea where to look exactly. The helicarrier was huge, and there was no door that was specifically labelled 'treasury' or 'long forgotten artefacts' or anything of the like. They would have to find out where that thing was while they were busy fighting of S.H.I.E.L.D agents and probably Thor and Captain America. _Oh joy._

It was no use worrying about that, though. Loki said the shield was a minor artefact, not that much use against today's weaponry and probably dismissed as a curious novelty. Hell, it might hang in someone's office, pinned on the wall as a pretty trinket! Loki would not put it past these people to show such disregard for the one mythical heirloom bestowed upon mankind by the Asgardians.

Whatever the case, it was no use wondering about it beforehand. They had to wait and see. Or rather: Break in and see, and this is exactly what they intended to do.

They got quite far with the quinjet's excellent cloaking device. When Natasha did not dare move any closer, it was Hawkeye's time to shine.  
An explosive arrow, smartly planted on the more sensitive part of the hull, and there they had their opening.  
Loki attempted to teleport, but Tony held him back the second he realised what the other was up to.

"That is way too costly, energy-wise. I will carry you in."

The god made a face at that blatant display of pure insolence and disrespect, but even he had to admit that his power was limited and should be used wisely.  
That did not change the fact that he despised every second of it, as Tony wrapped one arm tightly around his waist and took flight.

The ants were already pooling out of their little nests as they reached the hole the arrow had ripped into the hull.

"Put your phazer to stun!", Tony shouted against the wind and since he wasn't sure that the metaphor had hit its target: "Don't kill anybody!"

"Yes, I know!", an annoyed god snapped back at him and Tony was very happy, that his grin was covered by an expressionless helmet.

Loki did an amazing job blasting people backwards, rendering a lot of them unable to move, but no one looked seriously hurt, or dead, for that matter.  
They proceeded to tackle the maze of hallways. They had to start somewhere, right?  
If they were lucky, the ones they were looking for would find them.  
But then again, running into an enraged Thunderer or Captain America was more likely. They needed Fury or any other high-ranking S.H.I.E.L.D agent, and those were probably locked up in some panic room the second they heard who was coming towards them.

Hm, Tony knew that was not fair. Fury would fight on the front lines, he just wasn't sure if this time would be the same.  
After all, he _had_ come with a grudge.

Loki had taken it upon himself to knock out each and every agent they met, which took up quite some time, but the care with which he did it bordered on ' _adorable_ '.  
Something Tony would make sure to never mention, ever.  
At some point they decided to split up and go look for the shield seperately. Since Tony was capable of flight and had the better analyzing skills that only made sense.

It wasn't until he entered the bridge, that he found himself confronted with a challenge.  
Banner was nowhere to be seen, but Thor was there, hammer in hand, and Captain stood beside Fury, shield readied.  
' _Crap, this might get ugly_ '

"Uh, hey guys. Long time no see! I was wondering..."

The booster in his left gauntlet let him jerk to the side to avoid the shield by a hair's width. Now that was not very polite.

"Hey, I'm talking here!"

He barely made it in time to dodge the shield in its return, sending it clattering off to the other end of the room, where it slid under a table.

Then the _other_ god was airborne and with an ugly gnash Tony was thrown against a wall, Thor's enraged face inches from his faceplate.

"Do _not_ trust him, Anthony. Come to your senses! He is _bad_ for you."

That pissed him off more than he could tell.

"He is your brother! You were the one that made puppy-dog eyes when the Chitauri were after him. Now you tell me not to be on his side?"

"He is my brother, aye. But I have known him long enough to be wary of his every word, and so should you. Do not let him into your heart, I beg of you."

"What, jealous?"

He directed a repulsor blast directly at Thor's head, but his aim was diverted by that pesky shield that had been recovered and thrown, again.  
Behind the god some tables went airborne.

"It is not jealousy I speak of. Please understand, Loki has reasons for everything he does. Do not trust him so readily."

' _Uni-Beam at 98%_ '

"Wait for it."

The puzzled look on the god's face made the few seconds all the sweeter. In the background Fury screamed for him to get out of the way, but as realization hit it was already too late.  
The beam's full blast sent Thor flying across the room, not even slowing down a little bit, as his body tore another hole into the helicarriers thick hull, and off he went. They were flying over land at the moment, he was going to be alright, Tony thought to himself.  
Then he send Captain America flying after him the same way he had Thor. He did not think about _that_ too much, as he later regretted.  
But Steve had stood beside Fury, and he wanted Fury for himself, that much he knew.

Before he got there, though, a green blur had formed in front of him and Loki materialised. One talon-like hand gripped the man's collar, the other was held high behind his head, ready to strike, as a mean looking icicle formed around it. The look in his burning eyes screamed murder, and Tony could not help but see the sheer beauty, that was the intensity of the stare and the feral viciousness in his features. _Divine_. _Divine_ and very, very evil, right at this moment.

"Don't kill him!", he shouted, just in time, as he liked to think. He was not sure if Loki really would have killed the man in cold blood, diminishing their chances to find the Vindicator's Hand.  
Loki stilled slightly, his hand sunk down by a couple of centimeters, the deathgrip he held on the man's coat, however, did not loosen one bit.  
As that icy gaze found Tony's through the faceplate, he couldn't help but shiver.

"You do not want him to feel the pain he made you feel?"

"I am no monster. Fury knows that. Yet he decided to treat me like an animal, or a lot worse, actually. He has to live with that, I'd like to think it pains him enough."

The director looked at him, unlike Loki, he failed to catch Tony's eyes.  
No fear laced his gaze, just this weird sense of disappointment, that he really wasn't entitled to. Not after all he'd done.

"Nick, my darling.", maybe if he played it cool, kept his humour in this, he might just end up letting the man live.  
"A little bird told me, you had some old relic lying around. A shield, known as the Vindicator's Hand. We need that thing and as Loki informed me, you don't. It's probably buried deep in some old store room of yours."

Loki shook the man once to get his attention.

"It would be dark silver, shaped like a giant hand. Rather unsightly, if you ask me."

A spark of recognition flashed in Fury's eyes.

"Iridium. That thing is made from pure Iridium."

"Yeah, and we need it. Give it here."

An iron gauntlet was directed at his face, wrist angled up to show the pretty little light circle, that was so very capable of blowing a man's head clean off.  
Fury only laughed at that.

"And you want me to aid you in acquiring something, that would _help_ you utilize the Tesseract, which you _stole_ from me?"

"Yes, something like that. Thing is, we will find it anyway. With the two big guns out of the equation, we have all the time in the world to go looking for it, right? Might aswell tell us where it is. It would be a pity if any more of your men got... in the way of our search."

The suggestive tone did not go by unnoticed and it certainly did not fail to provoke the wanted effect.  
There it was, that flicker of fear on the man's face.  
Tony could not help to respect him in that moment. Threaten his life and he spits in your face, threaten his men and he falters.  
But the look of doubt was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

"I cannot allow that. He can't be allowed to wield such a power. Tony, you must realize what he's doing to you!"

A hollow laugh was heard from inside the helmet.

"Don't you _dare_ call me by my first name, after all you did... don't you _dare_ tell me what to do!"

"Anthony, we have guests."

Loki's voice sounded like breaking ice, as he motioned over to the slender frame of Maria Hill, rocket launcher heavy on her petite shoulder and a look of deadly determination on her pretty face.

"You wouldn't...", Tony muttered

"Blast 'em away, girl."

Fury smiled.

"Taking one for the team, huh? Not a smart move."

The weapon was his design, bastardized by those half-wits S.H.I.E.L.D called head-engineers. Easy.

His signal jammed the weapon without a problem, causing it to overheat and threaten to explode, as Maria let it fall and jumped aside, turning her body against the explosion just in time.  
Fury twitched in Loki's grasp, obviously wanting to check on his second in command, but the god would not let go this easily.

"What's her life worth to you then?", Tony asked as smugly as he could manage to and despised himself for it.

Judging from the look on Fury's face his voice had sounded convincing enough and he shook his head in disbelief.

" _Stark_ , you wouldn't! You are not one of the bad guys, just snap out of it already! To fall in league with this _freak_ , seriously.. you have more sense than tha-"

He was smacked across the face, his head violently thrown to the side by the impact of the blow.  
He chuckled at that as he spit some blood to the ground.

"Go to hell, Loki. And take that iron bastard with you. That shield is...sublevel B, storage 398. It should be around there somewhere. Don't-", he took a deep breath, avoiding their glances, "Just don't hurt anyone on the way."

They didn't. Well, unless knocking people out counted. Fury had announced their passage should not be hindered, yet there were still those few egg-heads that thought they were smarter, for not falling for Loki's tricks and... oh well... A couple of bodies did litter the way to the storage, but no one was seriously injured, that's what counted anyway.

They did find the shield and Loki confirmed it as the real deal after a quick inspection.

It took them another half an hour or so to find their entry hole and left for the quinjet, that still hovered in the air, anxiously awaiting their return.

Natasha took off the second they both had entered, cloaking device on, and took them back home.

No one spoke a word most of the ride.

"Did you... did you throw Steve out of the helicarrier?", Clint asked at some point and Tony nodded. "Do you think he survived that?"

"The guy was frozen solid for seventy years, I think he'll be alright."

That was not the truth, but he'd rather not think about Steve right now. He'd rather not think about anything that had happened on there right now. Fury was the enemy, he had made that very clear on more than one occasion. There was no turning back, and why should he? Because Thor said so? Because the man, that had driven him to the brink of insanity had said so?  
Fuck them. _Fuck them!_  
He did not need that.

Suddenly he could not stand his suit anymore. He began ripping off the pieces until he sat there, dressed in only a simple dark longsleeved shirt and his usual slacks, and he felt small.

_"Do NOT trust him, Anthony!"_

The words rang in his head, they needed to go away.

Loki was right there, sitting beside him and eyeing his break-down with something akin to interest. Tony did not care what emotion he portrayed. He grabbed a handful of long, black hair and kissed the man, deeply.


	13. The Awesome Super-Villain-Syndicate

He never wanted anyone to get hurt, he swears it by everything holy to him, little enough there is.  
Yet now he might just have gotten someone hurt. Someone not on his own team, but his former nonetheless. Someone, that was in fact known to only follow orders. Did that make him innocent of the things he had done? Hardly. Well, Tony was sure Cap had not known of Fury's colourful methods of interrogation. That much he knew, but at times a part of his mind called the shots, that would not let him see the whole picture. For his own good, probably.

He had never been the type of person to easily dismiss everyone on a team as either enemy or friend, there were always so many shades and aspects to it, he knew that. And he might just have severely injured the least guilty of his enemy's entourage, might have even killed him. And he did not want to think about that.  
He had arms around him and a tongue in his mouth, he'd rather think about that right at this moment.  
It seemed like a perfectly normal panic reaction, a healthy way to deal. Or to have a good time at least, until he was ready to deal with the situation in a more appropriate way.

He did not waste one second thinking about his two other comrades. They had known what was going on all along anyway, so why bother. He had heard Clint moving to the front of the vehicle to join Natasha, giving them privacy or fleeing the awkward situation, who knew.

When they had arrived they headed straight to the bed room, the one in Stark Tower. The teleport barely lessened Tony's arousal, he was too used to it by now. He let himself be taken on hands and knees, rough and hot and dirty. Mind-blowing, just what he needed, and Loki complied to his every moaned demand of _faster_ , _harder_.  
When they were done Loki barely managed to roll aside before he collapsed next to his lover and they were lying sprawled on the wrinkled covers in a heated, immobilized pile.  
It took Tony some moment until he had caught his breath. Some more, until his cooked brain was capable of coherent speech.

"What am I to you?", he asked meekly, and hated the way it sounded. Like some clingy bitch, he would have removed out of his bed and life the second she'd utter those words.

The god took his time, pondering.

"I do not like talking about these things.", he finally pressed out, but he reached for Tony's hand and intertwined their fingers, a thumb drawing gentle cirles on the back of his hand.  
"I like to believe that actions speak louder than words, that is the saying, is it not?"

"It is, but-", he did not want this talk any more than Loki did, but at this point it could not be helped. "I need to know. I need to know what I am doing all this for."

"Tony.", the name was spoken softly, lovingly. "You are not doing this for me. This is the right thing to do, you know that! If Fury had the Tesseract, he would be misusing it. If he succeeds in building his weapons, well that would be bad for all of earth, I doubt they could be easily used by his men. The will of the Tesseract would guide those weapons, not the one wielding them. If he did not even come this far the outcome would be just as bad. He might manage to draw her energy, but the side effects could never be controlled by one such as him. You have seen what happed to the place they stored it in when I came through, did you not?"

He clicked his tongue in annoyance.

"You _know_ this, Tony. If making your own choice in protecting the Tesseract from his influence makes you his enemy, then he is not worth your alliance. I would never take your freedom of choice from you, you know that. I did not kill him today, even though I wanted to take my revenge for the things he did to you."

Tony did not know what to reply. Of course Loki was right in everything he said. It was those other things that troubled him. How he so easily caused harm to all those in league with Fury. But then again, there was no saying what all the enemies in his past could have meant to him, had he known them. Did HYDRA agents have families? Would they be mourned by sons and daughters and wifes? Probably. So why did it bother him now?

"I need to know if Cap is alright."

He attempted to get up, but the hand in his pulled him back down.

"I feel deeply for you, you know that."

The sincerity in those simple words burrowed itself into his heart, and it hurt. How could he have questioned the man by his side?

"I know, and you know I feel the same about you."

He managed a small smile and bent over the other to kiss him sweetly.

"I really do."

When he tried to get up from the bed a second time he was let go with a smile.

* * *

When he entered he found Clint and Natasha side by side in front of their little control panel, feverishly fumbling with it and in heated discussion over something.

"Tell me Cap is alright."

They looked at him in wonder.

"Snapped out of it already?", Clint. He could be such a brat at times. But then again, Tony deserved it.

"I got carried away and I feel like shit because of it. Don't make me say it again, will you? Now let's find out if-.. you know."

They knew.  
It did not need Tony's supreme hacking skills or Natasha's sick subterfuge abilities to find out more about what troubled them. All it took was one painful press of the on-button on the remote control.  
The big screen flickered to life just in time to hear the bimbo, a brunette this time, announce the official statement on the new developments of the super-villain syndicate.  
(" _Seriously, we don't even get to name ourselves?_ ")  
Seconds later a podium could be seen, standing on which were Thor, Agent Coulson and Captain America. Everyone released a collectively held breth. Steve was coverd in bandages, his right arm in a sling and several bruises adorned his stern face, but he was alive.  
The clicking of cameras could be heard and the occasional flash illuminated his features, nearly fading the bruised spots into nothingness.  
Thor laid an encouraging hand on his shoulder and with a sigh the man stepped towards the microphone.  
He waited until everyone had somewhat calmed down before he cleared his throat and spoke.

"I have lost a lot in today's attack. Though I managed to survive it, I don't know how I did that, to be honest, I must admit to you, that the super-villain syndicate is _evil_ and they will not hesitate to hurt people. I was thrown out of two miles altitude by a man I would have considered my friend, no matter how far he had strayed from his path. Today reminded me, that I should not let sentiment rule my actions and if I ever get to meet that man, _Stark_ , again, I will fight him as an enemy with everything I've got. You hear that, Tony? There is no holding back now. You have shown your disdain for my life and I will not trouble with respect for your well-being the next time we meet. If you can't be talked to and reasoned with, as you have shown yourself to be today, we will find you and we will beat you down and lock you up, if that's what it takes. We have lost good men today. Men, that leave behind widows and orphans, and I will not stand for it. As of now we are at war and we will not stop until we have hunted you down and destroyed you, Tony Stark, mark my words! You will be brought to justice, _Iron Man_ , along with your co-conspirators and that _monster_ you are in league with. I will protect these people with my life. Always have, always will. You want to hurt anymore innocent, _good_ innocent people, you go through me."

People were cheering, clapping could be heard, but none of it moved the grim mask of determination on Steve Roger's face and Tony felt a chill running down his spine.

Hawkeye switched the TV off and sighed.

"Well, at least he's alive."

The grimness in his face rivaled the one Cap had shown on TV just now.

"How many did you kill in there, Tony? Did you even count or did you just rush through, repulsor beams blazing?"

It hurt. Tony knew this not to be true, but that did not help the sting it delivered to his heart.

"It's a lie. We made sure not to hurt anyone. We knocked out plenty of people, but no one got seriously injured, I swear. Cap was the only one, and with him I really did not think... I threw Thor out just before him, I guess I just thought of him as a worthy opponent and automatically assumend he'd be alright, no matter how high we were flying. I did not mean for anyone to get hurt, and neither did Loki."

The Black Widow considere him with one of those long, guarded looks of hers.

"Well, we are in deep trouble now one way or the other. I doubt they'll just forget this."

"But that shows exactly why we are doing this, doesn't it? I swear that we hurt no one. And I don't think Cap is lying, Fury is manipulating him, like he used to manipulate us. He had me tortured, for god's sake. That man is evil. I think we might want to start thinking about removing Thor and Cap from his influence. I had thought about it before, but today might have made things a little more complicated. Also Thor does not seem to trust his brother, he told me to- You know, not to trust him."

"Well, do you? Trust him?", Widow.

"I like to believe I'm not a hero and I take pride in that. I simply make my own choices, so... I think he is similar. He never was a true villain, he just had his own agenda. And right now that agenda is survival and not letting this potentially dangerous energy source fall into the hands of Fury. That's how I see it. So yeah, I trust him."

"What is it with you and him anyway... should we get ready to celebrate an engagement? Wedding?", Tony threw Clint an annoyed look. " _Baby shower?_ "

"I don't like to label things."

"Well, that is one way of saying you have no idea what the hell you are doing."

"I know I like him and I feel safe with him. That's enough for me."

He got weird looks from both of them but otherwise they seemed to know they would not get more from him on that topic, so they did not push him further.

Tony was the one to break the uncomfortable silence between them.

"We really need to do something about that name though. Super-villain Syndicate? That spells SS, I don't think I am cool with that!"

"No, yeah.. that's not cool. Any suggestions though? HWTL or something!"

"What is that supposed to be then?", Natasha asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Hawkeye, Widow, Tony, Loki. I thought it was obvious.", Clin answered.

"Well, why do you use our code names but Tony's regular first name? How about WHIT or something."

"You used Tony, too. And what is the I supposed to be?"

"No, the I is Iron Man, the T is trickster god. Loki is his first name, too, so if we were going for code names..."

"This is stupid."

"What, you started with the initials!"

"Shut up, both of you!"

Tony could already feel a headdache forming behind his temples.

"We don't really have to decide on a name right now. There are more pressing matters at hand, security first and foremost."

" _Cubists_. Because we protect the Tesseract.", Natasha.

"Fury-fighters.", Clint.

"Shut up!", Tony.

"Could we agree on SVS as some sort of sarcastic title for the ones that oppose the phony hero-company that would manipulate and control us?", Loki.

They hadn't heard him enter and all three of them jumped slightly at the sudden sound of his voice.

"Also, I agree with Tony. We need better security. I can feel them prodding at my shield. They have managed to block my ability to teleport with that cage of theirs, it is only a matter of time until they manage to find us. Well, I am positive they have already found us, they just don't know how to enter yet. Changing locality would not help us at this point, their scans run worlwide."

"If they are able to trace your magical energy, what would happen if you didn't use it?"

"Well, that might buy us time, I guess."

"See? And we only work on the Tesseract in that pocket dimension of yours anyway."

"But that would mean being without security with no way to tell when they are coming closer. I am not sure I like it."

Tony only laughed at that.

"Don't get too full of yourself, darling. Your shield is great, but I have my own means of securing a perimeter. Now all we need is a new hideout and we have to get there without detection. Easy."

He had expected the god to be offended by this, but Loki only laughed and threw an arm around his shoulder to pull him close and plant a kiss on his cheek.

"You go and protect me from the bad men then. Any idea where we should be headed next?"

Natasha smiled at their little display of affection and threw a glance of mock-accusation at Hawkeye who hurried to mirror Loki's action, much to her delight.

"We might want to do the obvious and move into Stark Tower. The security is all set up there, Tony has his workshop and I don't think Fury will expect us to move so little, with Loki gone off the radar."

Tony was not sure about this, but the thought of keeping his workshop was more than enough for him to agree to this. He had worked on the security of the place after all, might aswell make use of it.

It did not take them long to move. The tricky part was concealing their identities in a non-magical way and getting to Stark Tower by foot.

They had waited for the sun to set before they quietly snuck out, one after the other, disguised lightly but effectively. Loki and Clint went separately, Tony, being at the highest risk of being discovered, had a dolled up Natasha hanging on his arm. No one would look twice at the creep that this beautiful and flashy creature had shuffling along next to her.

Their heartbeats alone must have been enough to be picked up by any S.H.I.E.L.D sensor, at least that's how loud they felt to them, as they walked the hour or so until they reached the shimmering tower. They turned and disappeared into a dark alley before they reached it, though, surely Fury had the entrance under surveillange.  
But despite him probably thinking differently on the matter, Fury did not in fact know everything about Stark Tower and its many, many secrets.  
One of which was an elaborate tunnel system, integrated into the former sewers.

They decided to stay in one of the many panic rooms that littered these escape routes. Take it slow. Fury will probably go looking for them everywhere, when they went of the radar. And no matter how obvious the Tower was as a new hideout, Fury would not dismiss it as improbable.

The room was small, the fluorescent light uncomfortable and the three plain beds promised back pain. No one felt like sleeping anyway, as Tony carefully contacted JARVIS to let him know of their arrival and set to work on making the premises more secure, without alerting any of the viruses and trojans S.H.I.E.L.D had planted. By morning he had most of them quarantined and a couple of them had been eliminated entirely, but it would take time until they could safely move into the actual tower, as he let his co-villains know.

The Villains had become the name they had given themselves, much like Loki had suggested. It awoke a sense of spite in them, that kept them sane, kept them struggling. It reminded them why they were doing what they were doing, that was what they needed most.  
It was easy to forget ones true motivations, locked up like that, and they all needed the push.

Clint had found a can of green spray paint, and soon the words "V like Villain" adorned the cold concrete wall.

Tony smiled at that, as he sank into Loki's arms to get some dearly needed sleep.


	14. Star-Spangled Despair

It took them three more days until Tony finally felt it safe enough for them to move upstairs.  
He had finished eliminating the last remnants of Fury's paranoia two days ago, but you could never be sure enough when it came to the tricky old pirate.

It was nice to be back, everyone agreed. Even though Hawkeye and the Widow hadn't spent that much time at Stark's humble abode, they appreciated the luxuries the place offered, such as running hot water and seemingly never-ending food supply.  
They could have had that before, but unlike Tony, the two of them had never quite gotten used to the indescribable sensation of over-dimensional travel and hadn't liked taking it for food or a shower, when they would leave the other end drenched in sweat and threatening to lose the contents of their stomachs anyway.

Now they had everything they needed and more, could hang out in the big lounge on one of the top floors and have all of Manhattan sprawled at their feet, instead of struggling in the gutter, hiding away in that god-awful cinema. It had been great for a while, it certainly had had style. But for now they appreciated beds that weren't made from broken cinema seats and an actual kitchen and JARVIS' services at their disposal.

At first everyone had been a little anxious to truly appreciate the huge window front, but after some time they had gotten comfortable with it and believed Tony, when he assured them of the special fiber woven into the glass that reflected every attempt to look inside. Surely Fury had snipers and whatnot stationed at the surrounding buildings, but as soon as no one was as stupid as to enter the landing place and the balcony, they would be alright.

Tony and Loki had gotten to work the second they had moved up again. The shield had lain in the workshop, waiting to be used, and they finally intended to do just that.  
They had to redo almost all of the old circuits and rebuild the whole construct to accommodate the plump form of the Vindicator's Hand, but when they had, it was a thing of beauty.  
Fine traces of energy ran through the hand-shaped metal plate, each fingertip an anchor point in the delicate lay lines that connected the Tesseract with the surrounding machinery.  
This is how it was meant to be, Tony couldn't help but think. After all, Tesseract and Vindicator's Hand were both of Asgardian descent.  
He couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of the misshapen lump of iridium that Selvig had used. This was the real deal, this was how it was _meant_ to be done.  
It excited him, a feeling almost as strong as the first time he had worn the completed suit. The mark two, mind you. The very first time was still laced with blood, sweat and a friend's death. He could not see the triumph in that particular accomplishment.

Now that they had the Tesseract's connection to the harness stabilized Tony leaned back and sighed in mock exhaustion.

"Did it, didn't we."

Loki just threw him a look that clearly said ' _Don't be ridiculous now, Anthony._ '

"Yeah, yeah.. what do we do next then? Anything else we need?"

"Yes, there is something. We have all these circuits, but I highly doubt they'll hold if she decides to release her energy through them. We might need something stronger to cover them up, contain the energy from leaking out."

"What are we looking for here? We have iridium for heat resistance."

"No, this is not about heat at all. Energy generates heat, but pure energy in itself is raw power. We need strong matter to withstand that power, keep it running the way it is supposed to. Adamantium, you Midgardians call it."

Tony sucked in his breath. That will be fun.

"So... Unless we try to catch Wolverine or Cap I don't see how we can get our hands on that so easily. Let alone handle it, that stuff is a bitch to work with, you know?"

Loki just smiled at that. A knowing smile that made Tony more than uneasy.

"Well, from those two, which one is more likely to be caught? By us? And off of whom can we easily get the adamantium needed? I do not believe extracting bones or stealing claws will be such a good idea. We do not need much, just a couple of flakes. The layer can be thin."

This was not good. This was not good at all.

"Loki, after all I've done... I really don't want to catch the guy and steal his shield for our little.. harness here."

A spark of rage flashed in the god's eyes, disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"See, Tony.", his voice was calm, considerate, "You said that we might need to get Rogers and... my brother on our side if we wanted to escape the dilemma Fury has put us in. This might just be our chance to do so! He is the most righteous person I have ever seen. More so, than Thor himself. If we found footage of what Fury did to you, surely that would sway him? We don't need to destroy his shield, we just need to grate a little off of it. I would rather he let us do it, than to take his precious weapon from him, too."

Tony sighed in defeat.

"I don't like this, but if it can't be helped we have no choice, I guess. I'll go talk to the others."

He made a point in repeating the words Loki had said syllable for syllable. The man was not known as _Silvertongue_ for nothing and his reasoning had made sense.  
Clint and Natasha liked it as little as he himself had, but they could not argue that they were practically killing two spangly birds with one stone.  
Tony could not help but think of two majestic bald eagles and what sort of stone would be needed to kill them with one strike. His mind took weird courses sometimes.

It was decided, then, that they would kidnap Steve, after Tony had nearly killed him, and were going to try and convince him to change sides.  
Tony had also, heavy-heartedly, shared Loki's idea of using torture-footage to show him the extent of Fury's manipulative mind.

Natasha argued, that he would not believe them it was real. Steve knew of Tony's proficiency with digital media, his own lack thereof in stark contrast to it, and then Loki's control of minds, he might just think he was being manipulated all over again.  
Tony could not help but see her point, maybe it was better if they just talked to him. Something the man could work with, it would be up to him to distinguish lie from truth, rather than push him towards truth, that he might suspect is manipulation.

Why was the man so complicated?  
Well, they could not blame him.

The issue of capturing him was not that much of a deal, actually. When Tony had eliminated the trojans he had gotten an excellent insight into the workings of Nick Fury's system, including the frequency he operated on.  
It took them some more hours to figure out what to do with that knowledge and as the first lights went on and dusk fell over the ever-shining city they had their loophole, they knew exactly how to access their comm-system without being detected. Now when to use it?  
They listened in for some time, it was a mess, really. Where back then efficient back-and-forth communication between Hawk, Widow and Iron Man could be heard there were now loads of misunderstanding, mistrust regarding the outlandish Midgardian technology and an overall inability to communicate important information.  
Steve had gotten over his initial problems and was doing quite fine, his military background surely helping him a great deal, but Thor was a mess.

After they had listened in a while a plan had been formed.  
The original idea had been to intercept and alter information to lure Steve to a certain position, as it turned out that was not necessary. He would be nearby in less than an hour, looking for them, of course. The usual patrol.

Clint and Natasha were the ones to bring him in. They packed for the occasion, tranquilizer darts and the like. Tony saw Natasha slipping a first-aid kit aswell. As he inquired as to what that was supposed to be used on, he wished he hadn't.  
Like herself Steve had been tagged by S.H.I.E.L.D and they intended to remove the tracer on the spot, before taking him in.  
That was not going to be pretty.  
As little trouble as he usually had with blood and gore, piercing holes into people did not sit well with him, so he just nodded and smiled and removed himself from the environment, stealthily so.

It was only half an hour later that the two came back, unconscious Steve dragged along in between them.  
 _Well fuck that_ , Tony thought and he reluctantly urged Loki on to finish him quickly, as he heard the voices of the two stating their success over the comm, which was luckily muted on their side.  
He liked to think he looked only half as disheveled as he felt, his look in these last few days being one of a genius at work anyway, but Natasha's look suggested otherwise.  
' _We know what you did and we disapprove of it_ ' that look said.

"We are out there risking our life, and you...", Clint complained.

"Stop whining, you did fine.. We were following your progress over the comm anyway."

"You were listening to our updates on the mission while you were having sex? No, not disturbing at all."

"It's not like we got off on your voice. Besides, you barely said anything! Don't flatter yourself."

They resumed their minor quarreling as Tony helped them bring Steve in the cell specifically designed for the super soldier.  
He did have a holding cell in his basement, but he'd rather have their prisoner up here where they could monitor him directly.  
The man still looked worn. The bruises had all faded, as expected from someone of his status, but something about his face looked tired, strained. Tony bet Fury wouldn't let him rest the way he should, with them on the loose and unaccounted for and all.

They decided to divide the guard duty into shifts, someone should be there to defuse the situation when the Captain woke.  
The human part of their group silently hoped it would not be Loki, that might turn ugly before it started.

It turned out to be the second-worse option available.  
Tony had just settled on the slightly too comfortable armchair they had pushed up against the wall opposite of the cell door, made of a similar matter Loki's, or rather Hulk's cell had been made of back in the helicarrier. Using the see-through material had reminded Tony of the short amount of time he had been part of the Avengers and it stung, to see them so driven apart now.  
He had never been a friend to Steve, no matter what the guy had claimed on TV, the little time they had known they had spent fighting. Still, he felt guilty, and that might not make him the ideal man for the job at hand.  
Or maybe it did? He'd have to wait and see and most importantly: Keep his mouth shut.

When their prisoner stirred Tony had been ready to pass out, the last nights had not provided much sleep and the coffee he was downing like water did not have the effect he had wished for.  
As the stars-and-stripes-clad body jerked awake, however, so did he, his gaze wary in face of the other man's panicked stare.

"Steve, listen to me. You are safe.", it was hard to keep his voice calm, collected, when all he felt himself was fear and an unhealthy deal of giddiness thanks to the caffeine in his system.  
Steve would not listen.  
He jumped up, the blanket they had lain over him sliding to the floor. His face contorted at the sudden movement and he immediately gripped at his arm.

"Steve, I am _so_ sorry, please believe me. Do you need anything? Pain killers, maybe? A sling for your arm?"

A look of pure hatred was thrown his way, so unusual and all the more hurtful on the handsome face of the super-hero in front of him, as he stalked towards the transparent cell door and banged his healthy fist against it.

"Ready to finish the job?"

It hurt.

"I never meant for you to get hurt, I got caught up in the moment. Please, you have to listen to me!"

He had to be honest, would the other let him, he would not know where to start.

"I will hear _nothing_ of what you might have to say. All those lies that _freak_ is spitting in your ear, I will hear none of it."

"Leave him out of this, all this was _my_ decision, and if you'd just listen, I could tell you. Fury is manipulating you, he is not telling you everything!"

"Oh, sure. Fury is the bad guy, the man that fought off two villainous organisations at once, while your people broke into the helicarrier to free you. Do you have any idea how many men died in those attacks? Maybe not by your hand, but you started these attacks, we know it. We found traces of... data and communications. That blood is on _your_ hands, Stark!"

Tony flinched at that. Sure, Natasha and Clint had devised that diversion to free him, he had not thought about the price, not once. He had been too glad to be free.

"I can't shower.", he said instead and succeeded in shutting Steve up momentarily.

"What...? Stop these games, whatever this is."

"No, not a game. Truth. I can't sleep that much either. I have nightmares, horrible nightmares. I can't even-" no, he would not tell him about this.

"What are you talking about?"

"Torture, Steve.", he broke eye contact, he could not.. "Please, hear me out. When Fury held me prison, the things he did to get me to tell him where Loki was, where the Tesseract might be. It was torture, all sorts of it. Sleep-deprivation, sense-stimulation, even... water."  
He had to swallow hard, try to control his breathing that had sped up at the mere thought. He stumbled backwards and sat, which was not a smart move either, he half expected the blaring of an alarm to go off and winced, eyes shut tightly.  
" _Fuck_."  
He covered his face with both hands and bent over, waiting for it to pass.  
He was not going to let this defeat him, not again.

"When,", damn his voice sounded weak, shaky, "When they came to pick me up I was a vegetable. I was completely done for and they took me back, nursed me back to health. Loki helped me a lot. So... No, I do not know how many people got hurt in that attack. All I know is that I was freed in it and taken back to people who care for me."  
He had to breathe, in, out, in, out.  
"We are no villains here. You know that Fury built weapons with the Tesseract. What you do not know, is how little the guy himself knows of the cube. He destroyed his own base because he could not understand the power that came with it. Those 80 people killed in two days? Those were mainly S.H.I.E.L.D agents buried in the rubble of the accident Fury brought upon himself by his carelessness. You are not stupid Steve, stop believing in the guy."

Steve snorted, but Tony could see his brain working behind those baby blues of his.

"You'd rather have me believe in Loki then? The one they call liesmith? His own brother warned you not to trust him, and still you help him achieve power. That doesn't sound wrong to you?"

"Yeah, I trust him. He was out of it when he came through the portal, he admitted that himself. You have never really met him."

"Oh, I've met him. Before the Chitauri hit? Remember? Not someone I would put my trust in, if you ask me."

"Oh please, you have all been tip-toeing around him like he was some sort of monster. I know him!"

Did he?

"Yes, we have seen that. After you fell. Don't get me wrong, I was relieved to see you alive, but-"

"Ah, right... that. Listen, we had... sort of... given each other comfort, before the Chitauri attack. I guess you could call it that. We grew close. And we still are! He's a good man."

Another snort, this one seemed whole-hearted, the previous issues all but forgotten, Tony couldn't help but notice.

"Yeah, so... Torture. How do you stand on that?"

Steve fidgeted at that.

"You have always had your way with words. I-"

"-What. You don't believe me? We could probably show you the footage, but you wouldn't believe that either, because my evil technology could have faked it, right?"

It was hard to keep this calm and collected at this point.

"That man had me driven to the brink of insanity. And beyond it, in fact. You believe what you want, but do you really want to work for a man like that?"

He turned to leave, his mind could not handle this any longer.

"Oh, yeah... right... Not one _fucking_ soul was hurt when we came for the shield. Fury lied to you about that. You and Thor were the only ones I attacked with full power."

Steve looked at him with sad eyes, _screw_ those eyes...

"You made sure no one got hurt. What about Loki? Where you with him the whole time?"

Tony tensed visibly.

"I trust him, he would never hurt anyone if I asked him not to."

Nope, this was definitely getting over his head right now.

"Steve, trust us or don't, but we can't let you run back to him. We are not the bad guys and we won't have him treat us as such, not after everything he's done."

"Tony-"

"Good night."

And with this he left. Sleep found him quickly and soon he was back in the all too well-known realm of nightmares that had haunted him since the day he'd returned home.  
 _Home._ That place, where Loki was.

* * *

When he got up the next morning, head buzzing from the unusually long period of sleep he had had, the space next to him was empty.  
He let his hand fall onto the blank spot, it was cold. He did not like that, he concluded. He'd rather have Loki to wake up next to, but a glance at his clock told him, that the god, and everyone else for that matter, was probably awake for hours.  
It was when returned from the bathroom, he had been drenched in sweat when he awoke, that he heard something shatter in the lounge.  
Great, whatever it was they had managed to destroy this time.  
Then the screaming started and he threw on some clothes to join the fight, wondering, what it might be about.  
Somehow he already suspected what might be the cause of all the commotion.

What he found was Loki, a glib smile on his otherwise emotionless face, and before him Natasha, who screamed and pointed and accused.  
This was too early for Tony to process high-pitched rants, so he opted to interfere and get Natasha to calm down first, then talk second. Slowly, and to him. Because Loki did not look like he gave a shit anyway.

"So, Tony, care to tell me why you first abandoned your post and second, told me that we should let Loki take a shift because he was going to be alright? You vouched for him to behave! Well, he did not!"

Headache. Already. Tony groaned and went to fetch himself a glass of whisky, but Loki got hold of his waistband and pulled him back.

"You drink too much, I do not like it."

Was he that obvious? With another groan he let himself drop on the armrest next to Loki, his gaze fixed on the indifferent god that had now slung a protective arm around his waist.

"I'm afraid to ask. What did you do."

"He would not believe you, as I have said. So I showed him."

"Showed him what, exactly?"

"What Fury did to you. From your perspective. It is hard to dismiss a truth if it is presented so vividly."

Tony felt a chill run down his spine as the realisation hit. This could not be.

"You made him relive my torture?! Are you insane?!"

"I only meant to-"

"I don't care! And why would you think he would rather believe your mind games if my word and video footage would mean nothing?"

"Because it is no mere mind game. It is memory and that can not be faked. I do not expect him to be able to understand that, but a mortal can feel if it is a genuine memory or not."

Natasha stepped in.

"Now would you mind telling him how we found you?"

Loki flinched at that.

"I know what it looked like, but all I did was to-"

"We found you standing in front of his cell, hand stretched out and directed at Steve, who lay screaming and kicking on the floor. You are intelligent. Tell me, how that is not the same thing Fury did to Tony. Relived or not."

"He wouldn't have believed you, he had to live it! He will not suffer the same consequences Tony did. For him it was just a window he could look through. Horrible, but without further impact on his life. It was the only way to-"

"Oh, shut the hell up, will you? You tortured him. That's what you did. And all that after you _cooed_ Tony to sleep night after night."

Tony winced at that, he did not like to be reminded of his own weakness. He knew that they knew, but to hear it spoken was a different matter entirely.

"I _said_ it does not have the same impact! What would you have done? You would have never swayed him."

"Then so be it! If he couldn't be swayed, which I doubt, we would have kept him locked up! Maybe, if we had him living here with us, he might have believed us that we are still the good guys. But looking at you, I begin to doubt that myself!"

Loki opened his mouth to reply, but Natasha had already turned and left, Clint hot on her heels.

Tony did not know what to say. He'd liked to claim his brain was still half asleep, but he knew it to be untrue. He was simply set back again, back in this unbearable limbus, not knowing what to believe.

"I really want to be on your side on this, Loki, but... please, how did you get that memory?"

He was beginning to feel physically uncomfortable in the situation. He did not want it to be this way, he wanted it to be good, easy. For once in his life, why couldn't this be easy?  
' _Because you fell in love with the God of Chaos, darling_.', his mind reminded him. That bitch.

"Well, from your mind of course. I did not mean to intrude, but-"

"You did not mean to intrude."

"You had told me most of it anyway, all I needed was the actual memory of the event. Please don't be mad at me, I did not mean to offend."

" _Don't be mad_... Loki! You can't just enter my mind, this.. this is _not_ okay!"

He felt tears forming and he did not know if he would have the strength to keep them from falling this time.  
He felt violated. Hours after he had told Steve that he trusted the man, trusted him _deeply_ , cared for him _deeply_.

"How could you do that to me?"

He averted his eyes, could not look at the man any longer. The grip around his waist tightened slightly, a gentle press to turn back, to look at him, but he couldn't.

"I did not mean to hurt you. I care for you, I would never... I did not see the implications this might have for you. Please believe me, Tony."

But Tony couldn't. He needed to get out, needed air.

For a moment his mind alerted him not to go outside, Fury would be watching. But then again, Loki had just used magic. Oh fuck, Loki had just used magic.

"You idiot!"

He left the god with his infuriatingly innocent look of befuddlement on his face, grabbed a bottle and left for the balcony.

"Do _not_ follow me."

His wish, demand, _warning_ , whatever it was, was heeded and so Tony was left alone outside, a harsh wind tearing at his hair and a bottle pressed to his lips.  
He did not care what it was, it had a decent amount of alcohol, that's what counted.  
 _Damn_ this headache.  
He walked a little, kicked a concrete post, made a face at the pain and took it for a welcome excuse to let the tears fall, that had pressed on his bloodshot eyes.  
If this love was so precious to him, why did it fuck him up so much?  
He remembered some misguided sentiment about romance hurting the more it meant or something, but he dismissed it with a deep gulp.

This was seriously messed up and he had no idea how to fix it.  
He did not trust Loki and he could not keep lying to himself about that. He wanted to, he really did. But the thought of the god rummaging about in his mind in search for a memory to extract, no. He couldn't do this anymore.  
What he also couldn't do was deal, at this moment. And so he proceeded to kill the bottle, insanely looking forward to smashing it in thousand little pieces once he was done with its contents. Yup, he was drunk alright.

He spent the better part of an hour outside, drowning his sorrows in what turned out to be pernot, as he bothered checking way into his drinking session.  
Then Loki had come and dragged him in. Tony was beyond struggling at this point. He had always been an hyperactive, reckless drunk, but the drunker he got the more docile and needy he usually became.  
Pernot had him at a point where he happily clung to the god that picked him up with ease, crying into his shoulder all the while.

He was laid onto the bed they shared with care, though Loki's eyes and posture told of the distinct need to throw him on it.

" _You drink too much, I do not like it_ ", the words, though spoken with a mask of indifference and in Loki's usual non-committed tone, had been so caring, so full of love and worry.

"No, you don't get to... to... do this... _Care!_ You don't get to _care_ about me! Not after-"

Loki silenced him with a gentle kiss, and needy dunken Tony stilled in his arms.

"Sleep now, please."

"No. I don't..."

The rest of his surely philosophically meaningful rambling was mumbled into his beard.

He did doze off quickly.

_

When he awoke, he had a warm body wrapped around his and his head hurt.  
A cool hand laid itself on his forehead and made it all better instantly. Magic. Damn magic.

"I think I've had enough mind manipulation for now, thank you."

He wriggled away from the touch and was let go, reluctantly.  
He rolled around on his back to have a good look at the man who still lay by his side, head propped up on his elbow.

"You know, you humans are the only beings that even begin to appreciate my magic.", he whispered, a smile on his lips.

"I guess I got carried away in thinking this applied to all of magic. I apologize for that."

Tony hummed some sound of acknowledgement. He did not really feel like talking, let alone talk about Loki and his powers.

"I though Magic was that big Asgard thing... I mean. You learned it from someone, right?"

Loki laughed, it wasn't a happy sound.

"No, no... there are some magic users, true. But most look down upon it. It is said to be a deceitful way to fight, fit only for women and frail, old men and cowards. My father-"

He stopped there. Tony waited a few seconds, but Loki did not look like he wanted to proceed.

"Your father?", Tony prodded, for some unknown reason that talk had just turned more interesting. It wasn't everyday that Loki would share something personal, something intimate.

"Ugh... I spent all my life trying to please him, but never could. Not with my golden brother beside me. Thor was always the great warrior, blissfully stupid and beloved by everyone. I-... Odin never spared me a second thought. When I found out about my true heritage I blamed his disinterest on the fact that I wasn't his true son, but I don't think it's ever that easy. I was never good enough, no matter what I did. That was the reason I... travelled the realms and ended up with the Chitauri."

"Thor said you fell into the void."

"Yes, he would say that.", Loki let himself sink down onto Tony, his face on the smaller man's shoulder. "It is so very unAsgardian to... let go of life. A disgrace."

Loki groaned and huddled closer against Tony's chest.

"No matter how many times he may claim his love for me, all he ever needed me for was to make his own light shine brighter beside my darkness. That's all my father ever needed me for. All the struggles and strains just to please my father, they were doomed from the beginning, all in vain. All of it."

The bitter tone had left his voice and all that laced his desperate whisper now was sadness, hopelessness.

"I didn't think it possible I might again find something to live for."

He pushed himself up on his elbows to look at Tony from above, eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"But I did."


	15. Star-Spangled Redemption

When Tony woke it was dark outside. Loki had stayed with him, his cheek still lying right next to the arc reactor and his left arm carefully wrapped around Tony's chest. He was awake though and looked up at him with the sweetest smile almost instantly after Tony had first stirred in his embrace.

"Good evening."

"Yeah, good... evening. How late is it?"

"Around seven. You slept most of the day."

"I know. My headache is gone though, thanks."

"You're welcome."

Loki sunk back on top of him, the gentle smile still in place as he snuggled closer.  
Tony thought back on their little heart to heart talk when he had awoken the last time. Daddy issues, who would have thought. He knew what it felt like. The struggle, that big light he strived for, the sun of his life. And to then learn, that it was all for nothing. To be honest, his own awakening had come in a different fashion, he had emancipated himself from his father's ideals to seek his own way, a way that let him look in the mirror and not flinch. One, that made him feel good about himself, but it had been such a struggle getting there, mocked, jeered at. Maybe what Loki did right about now came close to himself quitting the weapon business, who knew? He chose not to chase after possible parallels between their lives. The man had confessed to his own suicide attempt, no matter how bad things had gotten, Tony had never been that low, had he?  
He couldn't bite back the bitter chuckle that left his lips. He was currently thinking about his lover's darkest hour and all he could do was connect it to himself. _Narcissist._

Loki had looked up at the sound, but the silent question that lay behind a single raised eyebrow would not be answered.

"Maybe we should get up, you know, deal with things?"

A frown chased that wonderful smile away and Tony regretted saying anything to begin with.  
Not for the first time he just wanted to hide away. Take Loki with him and leave, some place safe and warm.

"You are probably right, might as well handle this now."

Tony winced at the sudden rush of cold air that assaulted his warm skin, when the body on top suddenly got up and left.  
He contemplated replacing Loki with a blanket, but a stern look on the other's face convinced him not to, so he went and shared his lover's fate, which was facing a probably still quite furious Natasha Romanov.

As it turned out it was his fate and his alone to face the red haired dragon, as Loki ignored her completely and went past, heading straight for the holding cell that accomodated Captain America.  
Tony ignored Natasha's grip on his arm and decided to follow him before shit truly hit the fan.

When they reached the cell there was Clint, sitting in the armchair in front of the cell door, a forlorn smile on his face and words leaving his mouth in a mindless babble.  
It reminded Tony of how one would tame an animal, speak to it, get it used to your voice. It was a sad sight, really.

Loki did not stop to acknowledge the other's presence, he went straight for the cell door and crouched down in front of it.  
Tony and Natasha hurried after him and stopped to stand beside Clint, who was equally confused and worried about what direction this situation might take.

The god did nothing but stare at their captive, who in turn did his best to ignore him, his back turned towards the door.  
It wasn't until Cap noticed the eerie silence that had befallen his cell that he turned around in curiosity and wished he hadn't.

" _You_."

There were not many people who could put such pure hatred into one single personal pronoun, yet the Captain's eyes showed flickers of fear in the same instant.

"I came to apologize, and to explain."

"There is nothing to explain and I don't care for any apology."

"What I did was wrong. I did it for _them_ , I saw it as the only way, I guess I was mistaken."

"For _them_. How could torturing me help _them_ , in your eyes? Oh, don't tell me. We were made to be ruled, to kneel. Well, you had me on my knees. And I still managed to stand up again."

He made a point of doing just that, towering over Loki's still crouching form in front of his door.

"If it pleases you to be physically above me, so be it. _I_ and _I_ alone am the reason that these people strayed from their organization, that they are being denunciated and cast out. The guilt lies with me and I wish to make amends for that, for these people have become my friends, whether they see it that way or not. So... yes, I thought the end justified the means, I wanted them restored to former glory. That includes having you on our side. People believe in you, they trust you. If you could _see_ what has become of S.H.I.E.L.D, people might just stop believing in them aswell, stop believing in the lies they spread so carelessly about the people I care about. They do not deserve to be treated as such, locked away like common criminals, fugitives. They are heroes and I would have them restored to that status."

"So you snatched me away to convince me of your good intentions. That's just great. And now I have these pictures in my head."

He let a hand run through his disheveled hair, his face distorted in painful memory.

"I know they are fabricated, but it _feel_ s, it... there are all these horrible emotions, such despair and pain and fear and it just feels so _real_."

"It _is_ real, it is a genuine memory I... I took from Tony, without his consent. Believe me, you are not the only one who is currently... displeased with me."

Steve snorted at that. He was getting good at that, snorting.

"So what're you saying. That I should now join their side because we all currently hate you?", Loki cringed at that, "The common enemy thing might have worked back then, now things are entirely different. There is no way back after what they have done."

"This is not what I meant. All I was trying to say is, you should not judge them on my actions earlier today, they had no part in it and they surely did not approve of it, they have made that very clear to me."

Natasha nodded at that.

"He's right. We condemn what he did and we will not stand for it. We understand if you don't trust us as a group, all we ask is for you to judge each of us in a fair manner."

Cap smiled mirthlessly. This dark look really suited him in a sick, twisted way.

"So what are your reasons then? I have heard Tony's, I know that Clint just pretty much followed you, I don't care what Loki has to say. So all there's left is you, so tell me, please."

Natasha sighed and pushed herself off of the wall and walked closer, Loki threw her a look and they changed places. For her Cap sat down so they'd at least be eye to eye.

"I don't like to be sentimental, you know that, but there are things in this world that _can_ move me. I am good at reading people, it's what I do. So when Tony flew that nuke up through the portal and Loki practically fell apart next to me, that changed things. It is easy to be up against a foe, if that foe is an unfeeling, super-evil bastard. Now that does not change the fact, that Loki had killed people, lots of people. But I like to think it created an opening. And when Tony was brought into the hospital and I saw that Fury used that _one_ good thing about Loki against him, that pissed me off. Pissed me off enough to switch sides. Tony is no idiot either, I believe he knew what he was doing when he was sent to bring the guy in and didn't. I-"

She let her hand run over her mouth, her stare going right through Cap and into nothingness. Then she realised what she was doing and she stopped, eyes finding focus and she laughed.

"I did not realise before!"

Befuddled stares was all she got.

"Clint. You were sent to kill me, to bring me in. You didn't."

The adressed shifted uneasily.

"You are not Loki, Tasha. Don't compare your situation to his."

"But it is. It is the situation. I was nothing but a ruthless killer in everyone's eyes. You should have killed me, but you didn't. Well, nevermind that. There's one more thing. I haven't told this to anyone. Tony was supposed to die. Cap, you know this. You called it in, didn't you? The nuke?"

Steve avoided her glance, but caught himself seconds later and met her gaze head on.

"Fury had to know, there was a nuclear missile being fired in the center of New York, what would you-"

"So what was it Fury told you then?"

That's when the man before her started fidgeting again.

"He told Thor to let Tony handle things, if it got off-course."

"Which was obviously going to happen with all those enemies pooling out of the portal, right? It was bound to happen, and Thor can fly. He could have pushed it through, he isn't affected by space and radiation as Tony would be. That trap, the one in the hospital, the one Loki triggered was not the only one. In fact it was a secondary trap, a bad one. We would have noticed it, if we hadn't been so worried for Tony's life. But there was another one, my mind notices these things, even if I did not realize it at the time, the other one was down by the morgue and there were S.H.I.E.L.D agents everywhere. That was the trap he was supposed to spring. Are you okay with that, Cap? Because I am not. And that is exactly why I helped Loki escape. Not because I like the guy, and make no mistake about it, Loki, we are _not_ friends, but because Fury would take advantage of the only damn _sacred_ thing that guy had and sacrifice Tony's life in the process. That's why."

By the end of her speech Natasha was breathing heavily. You don't hear a spy raise her voice often, but when you do, it has all the more impact.  
Loki had changed sides to stand behind Tony, arms wrapped around the man protectively, his chin resting on Tony's shoulder, a lost look in his eyes.

"I did not know this.", he whispered.

Natasha dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand.

"I don't care what you think, I'd like Steve's opinion on the matter, Cap?"

The Captain looked just as lost, tired and pale. Even his hair didn't seem to have its usual shine.

"I only informed him, I didn't mean for the information to be used this way. I'm sorry Tony, I never thought he'd do something like this."

He searched to meet Tony's eyes, but couldn't ignore the man standing behind him, still holding Tony in his loving embrace, and he frowned, his face an obvious display of distaste.

"I don't see anything _sacred_ in that, I'm sorry.", Tony twitched, but Loki's arms held him in place and soothing words were hastily whispered into his ear, "But I have to agree, if all you say is true, I should not be putting my trust in Fury."

He let his forehead rest on his knees.

"I don't know who to trust anymore. It used to be so easy. S.H.I.E.L.D was there when I woke up, they helped me. They were the good guys."

Tony wriggled free of Loki's hold and joined Natasha on the floor in front of Cap's cell door.

"Maybe things just aren't as simple anymore. Maybe there are no _good guys_. I'm not saying we are the lesser evil, I'm just saying that maybe everyone just has to reevalue their allegiances with each day to come. Make your own decisions, right and wrong aren't always so clearly distinguishable. Had I brought Loki in back then we would probably have lost against the Chitauri, for example."

"And you would be lying dead in the antarctic ice, for that matter."

Loki glared at Natasha, but he couldn't really fault her the jab.

Steve just sat there and stared at them with a blank look on his face.

"So you're saying I should make a new decision for each problem I face. And now the problem is the cube, right? Well, I don't think it should be in Fury's hands, okay? But I don't want it in _his_ , either.", he pointed at Loki, not sparing the man a look, "So what am I to do. Form another group?"

Natasha sighed.

"Okay, maybe settle for the lesser evil then. But we don't want you as our enemy, that's what's important."

"Oh, and we need your shield."

Furious looks were thrown at Tony, who did his best not to shrink under them.

"What? We do. Might as well tell him now."

"What of my shield? You already have it."

"Yeah, we took it for our safety. But we would really like your permission to, _sort of_ , grate some flakes of adamantium off of it...?"

Natasha just dropped her head and shook it in disbelief.  
Steve just stared.

"Okay, I'll ask another time then!"

Tony threw up his hands in defeat.

"What for?", Steve's voice showed genuine interest, it seemed.

"Well, the harness to control the Tesseract's power, it needs a little bit of adamantium. If we can't control it it might become dangerous again, and our main focus is to keep it from collapsing any more buildings, you know. _Stark Tower_ , for instance."

"Alright, do it."

Well, that was unexpected, the incredulous stares of everyone a testament to the shared befuddlement they felt.

"Well, that was easier than expected.", Tony managed to flash a smile, "We promise to take as little as possible, your shield will not suffer any damage, promised."

"Yeah, yeah. I have a request, though."

"And what might that be?"

"Let me out. I don't like to be held prisoner, especially not after those images in my head."

"Oh, sure. Alright."

Loki hissed, the sound barely audible, as Tony reached for the keys.

"I do not think that wise. He might trick us."

All he got for it were small laughs and dismissive gestures.

"He's Steve!"

And with this the Captain moved in.


	16. Loki

Adamantium was tough. Adamantium was a bitch. Tony loved every second of it.  
The challenge made him think back to his arc reactor problem, the creation of a new element. He had felt like a _god_ back then and he couldn't help but wonder, how it would feel this time, when he will have had figured out, how to coat wires as thin as a single hair with a layer of the most capricious of materials available on earth. But he would, eventually. That much he knew. Tony Stark always found a way.

He would have loved to figure it all out by himself, but time was of the essence, as Loki assured him, so he let the god help a little.  
As it turned out, magic was capable of influencing and manipulating more than just fire, water, air and perception. Loki held power over ' _every_ ' matter, adamantium included. ' _Hacking physics_ ' is what Tony called it, but he knew better than to bring up ' _cheating_ ' aswell.  
They then learned that even though Loki could manipulate all matter, the one at hand was just as unyielding towards his methods as it had been to Tony's.

With all the information, the Weapon X program had held, long since lost to mankind, there was not really much more to do than start at the beginning and figure this out.  
The unspoken challenge that lay in this approach clear to them both, as they entered the silent competition with a grin on their faces and deadly determination in their eyes.

This was going to be fun.

Well, much to both their grievance they had to give up on their little games for the sake of the shield's integrity and Cap's sanity, both seemingly being in some sort of correspondence with each other.  
Things progressed quickly after they decided to work together after all, and just a week later they had managed to create an elaborate system that mechanically smelted the metalflakes in a minituarized electrical forge, made by Tony and powered by Loki, who then proceeded to magically transport the delicate substance to evenly coat it over the wires which would have to withstand most of the strain and have them cooled off by an intelligently set-up system of fans and coolers, courtesy of Tony Stark.

When all was done the construct didn't really look that different, the thin coating just a touch shiny, more silvery than before. But the two tired men knew what work had gone into this, and so they enjoyed their moment. All 50% of it, respectively. Looking at the finished piece, the thought slowly kicked in. Finished, actually done with and ready to use before them lay a harness that was capable of controlling and directing a power so universal, so ' _endless_ ', it was hard to wrap one's mind around. And all that in ' _their_ ' hands, truly unbelievable.  
Tony slung an arm around the other man's waist and pulled him close.

"Well done."

Loki kept his gaze fixed on the glowing cube on top of the iridium-hand, but he smiled.

"You didn't do so bad, either."

Wow, that was nearly a compliment. Tony was over getting offended by statements like that. Had to be, otherwise he would have walked out ages ago.

"I couldn't have done this without you."

Well, that admission one did _not_ expect to hear from a god, Tony smiled to himself.

"Now we only have to see if it works."

" _Yes_."

Something in Loki's voice sent shivers down Tony's spine, but he couldn't for the life of him put his finger on it.

The god stepped forward and reached out, his hand hovering over the Tesseract in its cage and his face stilled in a mask of concentration as his mind expanded, communicated.

"Yes!"

His eyes opened in a flash, the pure blue of the Tesseract swimming over his usual gaze, which was now without focus, reaching out into dimensions and galaxies farther away than Tony would ever begin to understand. Then he pulled away completely and it was gone, the light in his eyes back to normal. Sort of.

The eerie feeling remained and Tony now recognized what it was. _Age_. The god was old, _ancient_. He knew this. Why was this a surprise? Why did it put him off the way it did now? Why hadn't it before?  
Well, he remembered. Back in Stuttgart, later in the helicarrier and then again in the quinjet. It had been there, the ancientness of this divine being, the danger of age, the unthinkable power that came with each year-ring, so many of them, that they seemed to form silent ripples just underneath his skin, like an invisible rainbow, an aura.  
Suddenly he smelled of danger again, of poison and deceit and Tony was completely and utterly lost under that sense of godliness, that washed over him.

Where was approachable Loki? _Waking-up-next-to_ Loki? That was wrong, something was not the way it was supposed to be, he felt it. And then Loki looked him in the eye, dead-on.  
And then he knew. Part of his mind clicked, and there it was. _'He's above me_.' A simple thought, a logic conclusion. One, he had known of all along, no big deal, right? _Wrong_. Because now he felt it. His mind tried to reason, that this was the Tesseract's _might_ running through the guy, but Tony knew better. He had tasted Loki on several occasions, he knew the scent, the _feel_ of his essence, his magic, his character. He knew Loki, and this was him. Stronger, older, so intense it burned your eyes out if you looked at it too long.

"Anthony."

The name was said with a casual smile on the porcelain face, that towered over him, but he might as well have screamed it down onto him with all his might.

Tony wanted to speak, wanted sounds and words to come from his lips, but they wouldn't. He choked on the air he tried to breathe. Awestruck was the only word that fit his description. Either that or he was having a stroke.

The god laughed at him. With him, for him. He did not know, he did not care. There was a laugh and it rang deeper than it should. Then there was a hand on his shoulder, a gentle touch, a light squeeze and it might just as well be a dragon's tail coming down onto him. A _dragon_ , that was fitting.  
He was pulled close, the air tasted intoxicatingly _Loki_ , he could not breathe, did not dare to. His t-shirt clad chest met chilly leather and a hand found his chin, angled his head up, and then there were lips and the world exploded. _Kissing a god._ The word's had been on his mind often, usually accompanied by a smug smile. This was... nothing like it. This was kissing the center of the earth, the sky in its entirety compressed into those soft lips that pressed so gently on his own. ' _Don't faint!_ ', he thought, and then he did.

* * *

He awoke to the sound of ozone. _Smell!_ The smell of ozone. Did ozone have a smell? It smelt of energy, the pure kind. Or was it a taste? He felt it with all his senses, it surrounded him, and when he opened his eyes he remembered why.  
Loki was on the prowl a couple of meters away from Tony, who currently lay on the floor in an undignified heap, discarded.

In the back of the room, Loki. Like a caged animal he was rushing back and forth in front of the Tesseract, he wore full armor, his face maniacally driven by motives yet unknown to Tony.  
What he did know, now, was the difference that he felt, still. Back in Stuttgart there had been old and ancient but it had been laced with weariness and exhaustion. It had made him look more dangerous, like a cornered beast, but fact of the matter was, now he had regained his power, he was _brimming_ with magical energy, this sort of danger could be felt. Pure might, the danger didn't lie in the possibility to lash out unpredictably, it was, well, still there, but it did not matter one bit if you expected the attack or not, because there was no such thing as dodging anymore.  
He had to say something, make a connection. He knew he could, this was Loki. _His_ Loki, after all.

"Hey."

That was a start. Then a head was turned and eyes met his.

"Hey."

Well that was sort of anti-climatic.

"You have regained quite a lot of power, haven't you. Did you draw it from the Tesseract?"

The answer was a smile, no more. A show of teeth, that made Tony so very uneasy.

"I mean, just asking... I can feel the power on you, it's so different."

"Are you scared?"

The god sounded way too pleased with himself.

"Should I be?"

A laugh, sharp as a knife and ice-cold.

"Oh, yes.", he shook his head and chuckled to himself, "I do not wish you harm, though. And I did not draw this energy from the Tesseract, she is not ready yet. I am still communicating, arguing, one could say. We will get there eventually."

This was maddening. Tony had all but forgotten how it felt to be truly at his god's mercy.

"To answer your question: I have replenished part of my energy in my time on earth. This is still only little of what I can do, it would take one such as me years to truly regenerate to my full potential, the initial travel through the _raw_ Tesseract had me drained to the core. And to that other question, that is so _adorably_ evident in those pretty eyes of yours: I hid my true potential in order to avoid causing you discomfort. I'd rather let you cherish the illusion of me as your equal, as long as I had _need_ of you."

He spat the last words, obviously hating the sound of it.  
Tony was, again, at a loss of words.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. It was not all a lie, I do enjoy your company and I would keep you with me, for now. After all, your proficiency with this tower of yours did come in handy at a couple of occasions. And then there are the other... _assets._ "

He finally left the Tesseract to the little tantrum she was seemingly throwing at the moment, and came towards Tony in long, purposeful strides.  
When he stopped he towered above him for a whole minute, until he finally had pity on the broken figure to his feet and knelt in front of him.  
A slender hand reached out and cupped his cheek, Loki's power felt as nothing but a soothing sizzle on his skin and he noticed his mind relaxing against the other's presence, filled by him.  
Wait, was he getting drugged? The thought nothing but a flash in his already sunken consciousness and then it was gone.

"What the hell!"

That was Clint's voice. Clint was here. The hand left him and suddenly everything began to clear again. The sudden return of awareness shook him to the core and with a start he sat upright.  
There was fear where fear had been long overdue, and he thought of runnning. Thing was, his legs wouldn't move.  
He saw Loki as he edged closer to Clint. The preditorial look on his face reduced him to his most primal instincts and all he could do was cower and be thankful it wasn't him those hungry eyes flayed alive.  
Clint was not as sensible. The look on his face clearly showed that he knew something was up, but he did not have the sense to run. Why did he not flee? Tony wanted to scream but... he didn't.

"The hell, Loki? Did you get the Tesseract working? Is this what this is?"

The god laughed, an unholy sound that shook Tony's spine.  
Behind them Natasha had appeared. She noticed instantly, and she screamed.  
Uncoherently so, but it did not matter. Too late.  
Like a shadow Loki had edged forward and then he was on Clint, held his head in both hands and with a smile, he twisted.

The ugly sound would never leave. Even as the body fell, it struggled, flailed in horror. The neck was distorted horribly, his face looking at Tony from above his shoulder blade with unseeing eyes and a mouth that closed and opened, fighting for breath. Then it stilled. And Loki laughed. And Natasha ran. And Tony was lying there, nothing but a helpless pile of flesh, that found himself at the mercy of a blood-thirsty god, whom he had called _lover_ once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I guess.


	17. Dead Flesh, Dead Eyes, Dead Hearts

Natasha had run, then. Clever girl. Tony supposed she had taken Cap with her. He was on his own now. Just what he had wanted, alone with Loki.  
Only now there was a corpse in the room and it was wearing Clint's face. There were no easy smiles and light-hearted jokes anymore, just dead flesh. A body. And the eyes looked at him.

Tony did not have time to turn, it came too suddenly and he threw up all over himself. Luckily he hadn't eaten in quite some time, his mind remarked and he wondered, how it was even possible to think about that sort of thing now. Then a violent shiver took him and as it went and left, so did the vomit and he was sparkly clean again.  
That was when he freaked, finally.

His feet found the floor and then he was standing, however wobbly, and as he was standing he moved and before he could process his own actions his fists were thrown towards Loki's armored body and it _hurt_. He felt bones crack and soon his punches were leaving bloody smears on the polished gold as they hit.

Loki did not even try to deflect, so Tony went for his face instead. That was when a hand caught his wrist and held it in a vise-like grip.  
That was also when the murderous glint in those pale eyes sparked once again and he had trouble reminding himself of just how the hell he had found such sheer beauty in the feral look, this pure mesmerizing mania that had once instilled such a deep fascination in him. How _blind_ had he been.

"Do not strike me again, or I swear, I will _end_ you."

Part of him just wanted to scream ' _yes_ ' and be done with it, but reason still held some control over his actions and he stilled in the god's grasp.

"Why?", his own voice sounded foreign to him, whiny and weak, so broken and sad. That was not him, that _could_ not be Tony Stark's voice.

Loki smiled and again the teeth he flashed were an unspoken promise. Tony believed deeply that if Loki wanted to, he could rip him apart with his teeth alone. A chilling thought. Bloody images flooded his mind and he wondered, just for a second, what it would be like to be consumed by a mad god.

"Do not ask such questions, you know better."

"Why make me _feel_ for you, why not just-.. what for? For building the harness? Is that all? Is that the only _**use**_ you had for me?"

"Yes, and sadly, you were probably the only person currently inhabiting this planet that could do it. Besides, you were fun."

He felt tears forming and willed them back with all he had. He would not let Loki see him cry. Never.

"Well then kill me now and get it over with."

Spite lay heavy in his voice. ' _I dare you_ '.

The god simply laughed and his other hand shot up to grip Tony by his chin and pull him closer, until thir faces were almost touching.  
Tony could feel the other's breath on his cheek as it left Loki's mouth in violent pants. By now he was unable to tell if the god was furious or simply enjoying himself.

"Are you not going to _beg_?", a sweet smile was only betrayed by eyes that screamed maddened frenzy.

"What should I beg for? My life? Your love? Mercy?"

He was answered in another fit of maniacal _giggles_ before Loki collected himself and calmly continued his little game.

"Oh, _please_ tell me you are going to appeal to my _humanity_."

Ice and poison shot through Tony's veins as these words hit him with all their might. _Silvertongue_ , so this is your true power.  
The man wanted to play, let him play. He would not give him what he craved, never. _You won't break me._

"How about this, then: Please, love me, Loki. I can't be without you, I can't sleep without your arms around me. You complete me, I need you. I care for you, deeply. _I love you._ "

His tone was mocking, but the tears that had fallen now betrayed him bitterly and as he felt the wetness on his own cheeks a sob could not be held back anymore and he struggled, fought, as if to deny the sorrow he had just unwillingly admitted to. _Stop hurting, oh god, please stop hurting._

He expected to hear a laugh, readied his mind for the torment of yet another jarring taunt, but it did not come.  
The grip was softened and then released, only to be replaced by two arms around him. He was held close and for split seconds all he wanted to do was cry into the shoulder that offered itself to him.  
Loki had his face buried in his hair, Tony could feel the soft and slowly steadying breath as it brushed against his ear.

_This can't be happening._

It took all he had to draw up the walls, get in his metaphorical suit and shut his heart down, which had become warm and soft under the gentle touch, that _shouldn't_ be, _mustn_ ' _t_ be-  
Then he pushed and was let go. Loki looked at him with mock hurt. Or was it genuine? Tony had to admit he could not tell one from the other at this moment.

"You _monster_ , stay the _fuck_ away from me."

His voice was shaken, but the words held enough strength to pull him up. _Corpse with Clint's face._

The corners of Loki's mouth were pulled up in a gruesome mockerey of a smile.

"Man of Iron wants to play."

"I'm not afraid of you.", yeah, that'll show him, "Thor is out there. Him and Cap, Widow, S.H.I.E.L.D, they'll _destroy_ you."

A dangerous chuckle escaped the grinning lips of the liesmith himself, _poison and ice_ , as he conjured his staff out of thin air.

"How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting _you_."

The tip of his staff hit the arc reactor and for a split second Tony's heart stopped, figuratively speaking. The all-consuming mind-possession did not come, _nothing_ happened, in fact.  
Loki should know this, Tony thought. How much time have they spent discussing magic and human technology, energies, interferences.  
A second try failed just the same and Loki frowned in irritation.  
Glad, that he was not going to end up as Loki's new flying monkey, he still couldn't help but wonder what the alternative might be.  
Anger was darkening the crazed eyes of the mad god and before he could think of his options, Loki had him by his throat and hoisted him up in the air, his feet dangling helplessly.

One instant later he found himself thrown onto the luxurious leather couch up in the lounge, the last flickers of magic dissolved around them and then Loki was on top of him.  
He was heavy in all the mail and leather of his armor and Tony was struggling to breathe as he tried in vain to fight the man off.  
His shirt was ripped off of him with one lazy gesture. It had been the altered _Deep Purple_ one, and it hurt, as the tatters hit the marble floor to his right.  
Tony knew he had bigger problems, as his pants were taken from him in just the same fashion as the shirt had, torn to shreds by brute strength.  
Then he was naked, all soft pink skin, flushed with adrenaline and so very, very vulnerable.

It hurt as Loki slumped back on top of him, harsh edges of metal cutting into his flesh and the leather was hard and ice-cold, as Loki pressed harder into him, let him feel his helplessness with an insistent leather-clad thigh to his groin.  
Loki laughed as he felt him shiver and buckle. That was when panic kicked in.

He struggled harder, pushed and clawed at the god's armor with his already battered hands and the more frantic his movements got, the faster his desperate pants became. He was swallowing loads of air by now, but he couldn't care less. He was trapped, helpless, and he couldn't-  
That was when Loki backed off, slightly. Propped up on his forearms he made a point of catching Tony's gaze, his own a mockery of what might otherwise be considered ' _loving_ ', as he brough a cold hand up to his Tony's wet, heated cheek and let his thumb catch some of the tears right under a wide eye that shone bright with fear.

He chuckled again, a low rumble in his chest, that god-awful smile still plastered to his lips.  
Then the hand sneaked up into Tony's hair, held his head in a tight grip as lips lowered themselves down onto his in a slow, gentle kiss.  
Moving his head was not an option, so he did the only thing he could and kept his lips pressed shut. It didn't do much good, the feeling was there, deep in his stomach next to all the dread he felt, there was Loki's kiss and he was so close to giving in when the other pulled away and licked his lips in an almost obscene gesture.  
With one last press of soft lips on his flushed cheek he was gripped by the shoulder and turned around. Realisation hit then. Loki was really going to do this.

Tony tried to jump away, but he was too late. The heavy body was already on top of him, all harsh edges and raw material, and an erection pressed against his unprotected ass.  
He wanted to struggle, but he realized it would probably just turn Loki on to have his superiority confirmed by his own useless attempt of resistance. He would not struggle, he told himself. He would not move, not make a sound, not cry. He would not give him that satisfaction.

Loki pushed inside him without preparation, but at least he was slick with magic. It did not keep Tony from biting back the howl of pain that had threatened to escape him. He had brought his arms up and slung around his head. To control, to protect himself. Whatever it was.

Loki did not wait and Tony bit his wrist as he was driven deep into the cushioning. The man on top went in all the way, the harsh leather and metalplating pressed hard into Tony's bare ass and he couldn't help but shiver. Next to his ear the god's panting had turned into hoarse moans of pleasure. Sounds of which he knew would have driven him over the edge, usually. Not this time. He felt nauseous. Would Loki stop if he threw up? Something told him he wouldn't.

The irregular stabs sent bolts of pain through his body. Over and over in an antagonizing rhythm he just couldn't figure out.  
Then the panting by his ear drew back and his ass was pulled up with ease. Somehow he found his knees sliding in to hold his own weight and there he was, face still pressed into the couch, his ass up high and fucked doggy-style by the man he had trusted, until a couple of hours ago.

Hours, had that little time passed? He willed his thoughts away from the man on top of him, away from Stark Tower altogether. Most importantly: Away from the thick cock that prodded into him relentlessly and away from the little sparks of pleasure he now felt whenever it hit _that_ spot.

Loki's moans were louder and louder, laden with lust and raw desire and it was then, that he felt little whimpers make it past his lips. He wanted to throw up by now, but he couldn't. He even tried to gag, nothing. The sickness that was pumped into his body made him squirm, that awful brush of Loki's cock against all the right places inside of him had him falling apart. Suddenly the grip on his hips turned him on, the helplessness of it all made him shudder in excitement. "No... please, stop, please!" Loki laughed, an eerie sound mingled with the pleasured noises he made in between.

Whimpers had turned into moans in Tony's mouth. _Traitor._ He struggled harder now, he couldn't allow this, but all it got him was a hand fisted in his hair, ripping his head back, and with a magical shimmer Clint was there, sitting right in the armchair next to them, less than two meters away.

No, Tony corrected. His _corpse_ was there.  
He tried to avert his gaze, but Loki had him in a death-grip. He tried to shut his eyes, but couldn't. Only when he began to tear up he was allowed a blink, and then they were ripped open again, his glance forced onto the twisted neck of his friend, the ashen face, so lacking in the life that had made it Clint's and Loki picked up the speed, drove him forward. He would have tumbled off the couch, hadn't Loki held him so tightly. Harder, harder, harder, faster. He felt more and more sounds of pleasure being ripped from his lips against his will. His orgasm had begun to build, soon, he would-  
He couldn't allow that.  
"No, please.", he begged again, his voice small and needy. It sounded as if he was begging for the opposite.  
Loki came with a feral roar and as he slammed into the soft body beneath him some powerful last times, so did Tony with a strangled cry and Clint Barton's dead gaze _un_ -seeing every second of it.

 _That corpse with Clint's face_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brrrr, I felt physically sick after writing this...
> 
> "Loki smiled and again the teeth he flashed were an unspoken promise. Tony believed deeply that if Loki wanted to, he could rip him apart with his teeth alone. A chilling thought. Bloody images flooded his mind and he wondered, just for a second, what it would be like to be consumed by a mad god."
> 
> LOVE that sentence though :DD  
> Imagine it, I mean.. the colours, all that blood... is cannibalism a fetish? Probably is. If I was a better artist I would so definetely draw this.. but.. well.. I prefer painting it with words :P


	18. In Between

Time was a blur.  
The sickness still clung to Tony along with the ache, stained his mind and filled it completely. It was hard to think of anything, really, as he lay there face down on the couch he had just been _taken_ on.  
His mind also refused to acknowledge the _r_ -word. The last sweet sanctum of denial. He pulled back into it, as he rolled to lie on his side, drew his knees against his chest and closed his eyes to the world.  
Loki was pacing the big window front in a purposeful strut. That gait of a mad god, animalistic ferocity barely contained in that royal posture of his.

And then he was talking.

"You have to understand this about your kind, Tony. They call _me_ liesmith, but never have I seen beings, who are in such basic denial about the simplest matters of life, as you mortals are. It is understandable, by all meands! If my life was but a blimp, a flimmer in all of existence, I might cry out and point accuse aswell. Yet of all the lies you tell yourself to feel better about your pathetic little life you defend the _one_ in particular: The base sentiment of uniqueness.

"You huddle together on a dark day, your whole planet nothing but a speck of dust, a glimpse of the all-being and yet you flatter yourselves with such thoughts as every little one of you being one of a kind. It is a _sickness_ , like that awful sense of freedom you defend so readily. Were you like Ants, recognizing your status and acting on it, how much you could achieve. Instead you struggle blindly, mindlessly, each and every one of you as ineffective as possible, and call that choice.  
It is not choice, it is nothing that would give your existence any more meaning than it holds. How could you of all races understand the concept of greater purpose, if one lifespan of yours is nothing but a flash of a pain, a meek struggle against _chains_ you do not even see, and then you'd be gone in a second, gone with the wind and nothing but dust in the earth."

The voice had closed in on him, and then there were unhumanly strong arms that picked him up like a doll, carried him a bit and then set him down to stand on his own two feet, facing Loki, whose face was contorted in a freak show of loving concern. His hand cupped Tony's cheek and brought him closer, cooing soothing sounds into his ear. Tony felt the mockery, the wrongness in it, but he could not help but be affected and so he leaned into the touch.

"You unique little snowflake." A low chuckle. "Oh, you are so unique, surely. _Tony Stark_ , man like no other. You sure feel different, do you not? Well you are a smart man, Tony, tell me. How do _they_ feel? All those other megalomaniacal _ants_? All those pretty little snowflakes? There might be differences, I grant you that. But in the end you all look the same, slight anomalties only seen under the best of microscopes. And when it comes down to it? The creation of you all follows exactly the same old pattern, there is nothing _sacred_ about pure randomness. Don't flatter yourself."

Loki held him closer and Tony was threatening to drown in the smell of leather and dark rain on wet earth, and then he was spun around, the armor a small press against his back, and he could see outside.

"Oh, look! Your friends."

It had begun to snow. Thousands of little white flakes littered the sky and he could not help but look for it, that fabled uniqueness he knew to lie within. He could not let Loki's words get to him, but having one's own existence derogaded this way, it did something to him.

"You bore me. Go fly with them, then."

And just like that Loki shoved him, the force of it catapulting him hard against the window front, breaking it, and then there was free fall.

He heard JARVIS utter some words, but they held no meaning to him, he did not listen. This was it, then. _You bore me_. Funny, how that stung him more deeply than the fact, that he was falling to meet his end.  
At least he'd have peace now, his mind provided the easy answer, but he dismissed it. That wasn't him, was it? Tony Stark was full of life, always. But here he was, longing for the sweet serenety that might await him and he smiled a near invisible smile at the thought of his guts splattered on the freshly fallen snow. One last show of beauty.

Then there was something behind him. _Loki_ , his mind provided, but it was proven wrong quickly by a flash of red. And there was the suit, unraveling in all its mechanical beauty as it wrapped itself around him like a guardian angel and he took the chance at life he was granted and pushed his boosters in the very last second. He was alive.  
He would stay that way and screw Loki for taking away his spirit. No one takes Tony Stark's spirit. Empty words that shot through an empty brain. Did a brain have something akin to muscle memory? Must have, he thought, but the tiny struggle against that invisible chain, that lay so heavily around his neck, filled him with as much grand purpose as any human should ever need, and then he flew.

* * *

He liked to think JARVIS chose his path for him, much like the AI had taken it upon himself to activate the emergency protocol in that case of ' _freaking free fall out of a window_ ' just now.  
He knew it not to be true, though.  
As much as part of him wanted to switch to autopilot and let himself drift, he knew he couldn't.  
In addition to the things he had to do he _needed_ the feeling of control back. He needed to hold on to it, so he did.

He switched off most of those convenient little gadgets that made flying so easy a two year old could do it. If a two year old could fit into his suit, that is.  
He barked booster percentage levels as he saw fit, still wary of the sound of his own voice. It did not betray him though, and he managed a small smile of victory.  
He was not broken. Right at this moment he functioned, and it was all he could have hoped for.

His flight took him to the only man he could count on to help him now. Pride aside, fear and trauma aside, he needed to see Nick Fury.


	19. Dealing

Tony didn't know what to expect.  
He was quite sure that Natasha had already made her way back to S.H.I.E.L.D.

 _Back_ , as if they had just left for an afternoon stroll, not spent the last few weeks sided with a super-villain.

She would return there anyhow, wouldn't she? If Cap was really with her, she would be. It was their only shot at fixing this. But then again, it was just as possible that she had bailed on him and hid, locked away under some bridge. Because clearly, keeping out of Loki's way might just be the best idea and after she had seen what Fury had done to Tony, she'd probably want to keep out of his range aswell, she was smart with a strong drive of self-preservation. That made her at least partly predictable.  
But then there was the _corpse_.  
Maybe she had spent the last couple of hours running around aimlessly, in shock. What would Tony do, if someone had murdered his... well, _Loki_ in front of his eyes? He would have gotten himself killed right after in a doomed attempt to revenge his death. So she was already smarter than him, but then again, he had known that all along.  
Fact of the matter was, he couldn't tell. You could always count on the Black Widow's ruthlessness, but if she got emotional, there was no telling what her course of action might be.

Tony opted not to waste any more thought on that, especially since the train of thought had included a romantically tragic setting of himself, holding Loki's lifeless body, out of his mind with grief and lost love. And he could not bear those affectionate feelings. Hopefully, Fury would see to their elimination once and for all.

When he entered the Helicarrier, he was attacked instantly. An EMP grenade threatened to knock out his suit, hud flaring wildly and JARVIS' warnings were reduced to nothing but a jumble of incoherent syllables, but it did not break down on him entirely. It did, however, incapacitate him a good deal and when his field of vision was clear enough to see the hammer aimed at his chest, it was too late by seconds.

His suit had regained full function a couple of seconds later, but mjölnir had knocked him back and onto the floor and was now lying heavy on his chest, rendering him incapable of any movement. He did not enjoy lying flat on his back like an _iron turtle_ of sorts, but he knew defeat when he felt it, so all that was left to do was take of his helmet and throw it at Thor, who only threw him a sheepish look in reutrn, not getting the gesture, it seemed.

"He is admitting defeat.", Fury explained from just out of Tony's field of vision. "Aren't you, Stark."

Seemed like he would not be spared that encounter and lying flat on his back for this did not make it much better. Somehow it felt less jarring than he knew it should, but recent events would not be beaten that easily when it came to the matter of _getting_ to him. Part of him was thankful for the thick wall that dampened blows and voices alike, but deep inside he knew he had to be sharp now.

"Gloat, if you want. I've been through hell. If that makes you happy, fine. I don't care. Be happy. But promise me you'll help me bring him down."

Bitterness was all that held his voice together at this point.  
Fury simply grinned, a short display of teeth, no more.

"See you on the bridge, then. Don't think we trust you. Not one second, Stark."

Well, he probably hadn't really expected anyone to, and as uncomfortable as it made him, he slowly began unhinging the many parts of his armor, one by one. All the ones he could reach, that is, with mjölnir still holding him down.

After boots and gauntlets were off, though, Thor probably deemed it safe enough to take his hammer back and Tony thanked him with a curt nod.  
He was not ready to truly look at the god. Tony Stark had never been good at admitting to his own mistakes. Never. And these last few weeks were probably the biggest he had ever made, and it had felt better than all his past slip-ups combined. There had been the usual tint of excitement over it all. Forbidden, off limits. That's what it always felt like, that's the thing that drew him into trouble each and every time. What was more exciting than siding with the villain, going up against the guys he had never liked?

 _Bullshit_ , the entire time he had told himself that it was the right thing to do, that's what counted. This hadn't been one of his reckless dives, no risk he had _carelessly_ taken. This had been different, and the outcome was all the more devastating.  
Because he had believed in what he was doing. All doubts aside, he had continued out of his own conviction. He had only himself to blame.

It was when he unhinged his chestplate that he realised he had been naked when he was thrown out of the window. _Great, just great._  
Luckily that was exactly the moment Cap arrived. Good old Cap. He saw the predicament Tony was in almost instantly and frowned.

"Yeah, yeah. I know."

"I wasn't gonna say anything!"

Sure, he was just going to give him righteous disapproval and disappointed puppy-dog eyes.

"I'll get you something to wear, hang on."

Thor had gone ahead to tell Fury they would be following soon after, when Cap came back. What he had found was one of the standard S.H.I.E.L.D jumpsuits. Great, he'd look just like the obedient little soldier the director always wanted him to be. Well, beats going naked, the bitemarks and bruises in suspicious places were nothing he would like Fury to see, though the man probably had a good look at some already, when he had taken his helmet off.  
He had never been embarassed about these sort of things, but before it had always been a tell-tale sign of a wild night, not of being _marked_ and _owned_ by a psychopath and liking it.  
It burned to think of it this way, but he had to hold on to that thought. It was the truth, after all.

 _Flush out the illusion he has woven over your eyes, there was never love there, never_.

Sighing, he got rid of the last pieces of armor and slipped into the plain black outfit. At least it matched his mood, he thought grimly.

When they reached the bridge agent Hill motioned for them to proceed to the conference room instantly. They complied and found themselves in the company of Thor and Fury shortly after. No sign of the Widow, so far.

"Is Tasha not here? I thought she was with you?", he threw a meek glance at Cap, who lowered his head.

"She was, we've already debriefed her. She is resting now."

" _Resting_. Sedated?"

"Yes."

Tony couldn't offer anything but a grim nod, he knew it was probably for the best.

"So, Stark. Sit down and talk to me."

Fury, all business.

"Well, you already tortured most of the details out of me, so there isn't much more to tell. We moved a couple of times, ended up at my tower, finished the harness for the Tesseract and then he didn't need me anymore, or anyone else for that matter. I am _stupid_ , _naive_ and a _traitor_. Now that we've got that covered, what do we do to take him down?"

"I will need a little more detail on that. What happened after you finished the harness?"

"He got powerful. He said he had always been and had just concealed it to not intimidate us. It _was_... intimidating. Then Clint came in and he just killed him. Snapped his neck."

"Loki did."

"Yes, Loki killed Clint." _Thanks for makin me say it, fucker._

"And then?"

"Tasha left, I assumed she would take Cap with her. I was in shock, sort of. I left later."

"Details on that?"

"Loki threw me out of a window."

"You survived."

"Apparently. JARVIS launched my new compact suit, it has a tracer. So, yeah. I fell and it came after me, wrapped itself around me and I survived. Then I came here."

"So. Loki kills Clint and throws you out of a window. I am missing a few hours here."

"Yes, seems like you are. Nothing relevant happened."

"I will decide what is relevant and what is not. So if you will-"

"He messed with my head a little, salt to my wounds and stuff. He had his fun and I was in no position to defend myself, obviously. I tried to fight him, but that was not very effective."

"So he had his _fun_."

"I believe he did." Yeah, rub it in.

"Stark, you know damn well I will not let you leave this room until you are fully debriefed and it is _I_ who decided when that is the case."

Might as well get this over with then.

"He played with me. Then he tried to control me with his staff, my arc reactor interfered and it didn't work. Then he played some more, then he had his way with me... he talked some more, then I was in freefall. Is that enough?", he kept his voice as impassive as possible in hopes of adopting the view he was portraying here. It did not matter what Loki had done to him in all its cruel detail. What mattered was that he was determined to never let it happen again.

"He-... okay. Tell me more about the Tesseract. If it is to be his source of power now, we need to know everything about it."

Finally, something relevant.

"He doesn't really have access to her power yet, as far as I know. He said he was... _arguing_ with her. He has the means to access her directly, it is only a matter of time until she gives him power, if I understand this correctly. He is more powerful than he ever was even without her, though. He was severely weakened when he came through the portal and didn't have time to replenish. Even against the Chitauri he must have been comparatively weak, that was just a couple of days after he passed out from exhaustion, so... yeah. Now he had had weeks. And he said, it would take years for him to be fully restored. I don't even want to think about what kind threat he would face then. If he manages to hide away, avoid us some time, he'd get more and more dangours, Tesseract or no."

"So what you're saying is, that he is probably getting stronger every second. We need a plan of attack, and soon. I suggest you go rest a little, you look like shit. We wake you when Romanov is back with us."

The all nodded in agreement and started to get up and leave. As Tony was about to reach the door, Fury held him back and regarded him with one of those long looks.

"I'm sorry, Stark. I really am. I saw the danger he posed from the start, I don't understand how you didn't, and you hopefully understand that I had to do everything in my power to stop him, right?"

Tony managed a weak nod, he didn't dare to speak, fearing that his voice might betray him.  
It couldn't be helped, he was back on Team Fury and he could not think about the past at this point.

"We got a room for you down on level 2, Cap'll take you there. He can get you something to help you sleep, too."

A grin that looked suspiciously like a snarl was all Tony had to offer as an answer.  
He would not be drugged by Fury, no matter what team he was on.

"I'm fine, thanks."

And with that he turned and trailed after Steve, who kept on giving him the most sympathetic of looks, all encouraging smiles and sad eyes.

"I'm glad you're back with us, Tony. I really am. I know that, before, that wasn't really you. You're a good guy."

_Oh, that was me alright._

He only shrugged it off and kept silent. There was no point in having a heart-to-heart with the guy, not now.

His room turned out to be the same he had stayed in the first time he was a guest in the helicarrier.  
The time Loki had dragged him from his bed and offered an alliance.  
He chose to ignore the feeling of the memory chewing away at his already strained composure. There was no time to break down, not now. Maybe he should have taken Fury up on the offer. Dreamless sleep sounded like just the thing he needed right now.

He dismissed Steve with a curt nod, who, obviously unwilling to go, left anyway.

Sleep failed to come and so Tony just lay there and thought of the only person left on his mind, that meant something and had not tried to kill him at one point or the other.  
 _Pepper._  
He should call her. He should explain things and make it up to her... but the pang of guilt in his chest whenever the scene from the news footage flashed in his mind was enough to keep him from pressing the call button.  
She would be better off staying away from him, and he would tell her so once he managed to get his act together. Right now he felt at a high risk of begging her to come stay with him, to care for him like she always had. He couldn't have that. Luckily Loki wasn't aware of how much she meant to him, apart from the TV scene he didn't even know she existed, as far as Tony knew. He would keep it this way.

He didn't know how long he had lain there, sleep eluding him, taunting him, when the door opened and a familiar sillouette slipped into his room.  
It was unusual to see Thor _slip_ in anywhere, all awkward muscle and deep concentration visible in a deep frown.  
Thor was not stealthy. He simply wasn't.  
Tony couldn't help but chuckle at the sight.

"I'm awake, no need to be sneaky."

The god stopped, startled, a deer-in-the-headlights look prominent on his godly features.

"Oh. Nay, I did not want Nick Fury to see me talk to you."

"Well, he most likely did. Anyway. What do you need? Want to catch up on your baby brother's escapades?"

The thunderer looked uncomfortable, standing there in his dark corner.

"Well. I will not excuse his actions, but I know how it feels like to be controlled by him. I never noticed when he manipulated me."

 _I'm not like you_ , he thought, but he wouldn't say it. Thor was trying to help. They have both been played and that's that. It didn't matter who of them was more susceptable to it, so he simply nodded.

"I would always feel like a fool afterwards for not seeing it. He got me to wear my mother's clothes and venture into an enemy's lair once. Both at the same time!"

Tony had a hard time suppressing a grin at the thought.

"You would think it funny, but to me it was a devastating blow to my standing in Asgard. I made a fool of myself and it haunted me for a long time to come. And there were so many other things. What I am saying is that my brother can be very persuasive. He mixes truth and lies so comfortably, one can never tell."

Tony thought about all the small glimpses into Loki's head. Most of them had been in moments, in which he had doubted his way, he realised. Where those-

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How was _his_ standing in Asgard? Was he well liked? Respected for his magic and stuff?"

Thor blushed slightly at that.

"Well, my brother was loved by many. He was, after all, a prince. But his magic, well. That is a woman's tool, fit only for the weak and craven. It does not earn one respect to poison a drink and stab proud warrior's in the back. Magic is the same thing. Asgardians do not approve of it, I fear."

Hm, a little truth then. Somehow that only made it worse. The sympathy he had felt had been real then, and it burned.  
Tony laughed, then. A doomed attempt to cover up the hurt, he feared might be all too obvious, but Thor was busy staring into the distance anyway. No doubt reveling in memories of happier times with his baby brother.

He wanted to ask more. Ask, for example, if guys like him were a common love interest for the man. Something inside of him needed to know, if all that was at least likely to have been real.  
But he kept silent. Every little thing, no matter how soundly his heart demanded to know, would only make it harder on him, he knew.

Silence lay heavy in the darkness for some time, then Thor spoke up in the most unexpected manner.

"Was he happy?"

Tony shifted uncomfortably in his bed.

"What do you mean by that?" _I don't fucking care if he was happy!_

Thor fidgeted, it didn't suit him.

"I mean... I know the things he had done are horrible, but... as I have said, there is always an amount of truth in everything he does. I would like to know, if what you did, this little team of yours and your relations with him, if that had made him happy."

Too many thoughts flashed by unregistered.

"I don't know. I can't tell truth from lie anymore, so... no, I really can't say. Sorry."

Thor only nodded, but he looked disappointed enough to piss Tony off.

"Listen, the guy played me, he betrayed me, _hurt_ me. Because no matter what _he_ might have thought of it all, I was happy. And it turns out the only way for me to be _happy_ is in the arms of that psycho, living a vigilante- _slash-_ villain life, which is so cliché and oh-so romantic. And it was a lie, all of it. I don't fucking care if he was being happy or not, because it was a lie and it doesn't matter. He made it very clear that he despises me in the end."

"I have seen him after you fell, after the Chitauri. That did not look like a man that despises you."

Bargaining for his brother's soul, great.

"I am the only one on earth capable of creating the harness for the Tesseract. Had I died everything he had planned would have been in vain. Of course he freaked at that. And it played out well for him, didn't it. All those sympathies he got from Tasha for being in _love._ "

He all but spat the last word, in a hurry to get it out lest it burned his tongue.

Thor only gave him a long look for that. A long, god damned thoughtful look.

"He never does only one thing. There are always layers to his doings, I believe."

Tony sighed, frustration with the big guy setting in.

"So you're saying that he did use me and play me, but was also actually in love with me? Sorry, but I have my doubts. He-"

He stopped at that. Thor didn't need to know everything, did he.

"He tried to kill me, that is proof enough for me."

The other shook his head and pushed himself off the wall to edge closer and sit on the foot of the bed.

"He cannot stand weakness. Maybe he realised you wouldn't stay by his side after he revealed his true motives? His mind works in wondrous ways."

"Wondrous, yeah. Like _taking_ me by force next to Clint's corpse. That is a weird way to show one's affection, even for that guy."

A look of hurt and shock crossed Thor's half-lit face and he averted his eyes.

"I am so sorry."

"It's not your fault. Just don't-... Don't try and justify what he did, alright? Because I can't stand that. I need to wake up from all these lies and see him for what he is. A lying, cheating asshole and I am going to bring him down. That is all I need to know right now. I can wallow in self-pity afterwards. I can't stand feeling for him, not now..."

His voice was beginning to sound rough and he stopped, before it would break and the tears he had been trying to hold back so long would fall. He could not allow sentiment of any kind, not now.

Thor understood, finally, and nodded slowly.

"I will take my leave then. And I promise to help you capture him. He will be taken back to Asgard to face punishment for what he'd done and you won't have to face him again. Don't worry."

With this he stood and, unstealthily, headed for the door.

No way in hell Tony would be able to sleep after that.

Suddenly all the aches and pains in his body were back. How he had managed to supress them up until now, he did not know. All he knew was, that they were back with full force.  
He groaned in frustration. This did not help. He got up and headed for the small shower stall, maybe some hot water would help calm him, clean him.  
He did not like he notion of the rape victim curled up in the shower. His rational mind forbid such naivety, but it would certainly help the bruises and soreness that had his battered body in their firm grasp.  
Thor's mjölnir to the chest earlier today had not helped either.

As he leaned against the cool tiles and let hot water beat down on him, it did offer some kind of serenity. The steam clouded his mind, made his lungs tingle and he felt good, _blank_.  
The thought that he was actually taking a shower in S.H.I.E.L.D's headquarters hit him with less force than was probably due, but he didn't mind.  
It had been Loki's thing to clean him, which in hindsight was a rather sick show of dependency on his part. He had to deal with what Fury had done if he was to work with the guy, might as well get over his waterboarding-induced phobia.  
He had to admit though, that he hadn't even paid it much mind as he had stepped under the spray of water just now. Fine by him, though. It felt good, it felt like a sense of self had been returned to him, one fractured little piece after the other.  
He would be okay, eventually, and it felt good.

He fell asleep easily after that, and he dreamed of Loki.


	20. Dreams and Remnants

"Do you know what it feels like, to be eternal?"

It was warm, outside. Tony felt the rustling of leaves on his skin, saw the fickle shadows the treetops cast on the soft ground. It smelled of spring and autumn.  
There was no one here. Not even the man he was currently talking to. Maybe he had been talking to himself? No. There had been someone.

"Do you know what immortality feels like?"

The voise resonated inside of him. Filled his mind with- _No_. His _heart_ , it filled his _heart_ , he corrected.

 _Life_ , it was. The thing that it filled him with, and he could not even begin to explain.

He wanted to answer, but his tongue was missing.

"You will die."

There was no sadness in the other's voice and he felt a smile, somewhere in those words.

He was kissed, then. Loki was there, close to him. Then he left again and Tony was left with that presence around him.

"I don't want to!"

Oh, his tongue was back. Loki must have given it back when he had kissed him. Good. He needed that.

"You will die, though, and it doesn't matter, really."

"Does it matter to you?"

The words felt too big for his mouth and they dropped to the ground as soon as they left his lips. Lying there like unsightly lumps of clay, he could not help but regret them.

"Do you know what it feels like, to be eternal?"

"You already asked me that! I don't!"

There was a laugh, somewhere, hidden between pale green birch leaves over his head, sun trickled through and clung to them golden, like dew in the first light of day.

"Questions, answers. Don't try to understand the difference, my mortal."

More clay lumps were threatening to leave him and drop, but he refused to utter those words. _I'm not yours._

Loki was here, he was by his side. Tony looked at him for answers he knew the other to be unwilling to give, yet he could not help but stare.

"Do you know what it feels like, to be eternal?"

_Answers, questions._

"You are forever, I am mortal. Yes. That's no reason, though. It's not."

Loki smiled, bright as the leaves overhead, and Tony melted.  
The ground was warm and rich, moss was a soft cushion under his back and a couple of grass blades tickled his ears.  
Loki looked confused, worried even.

"Are you dying now?"

"No, I'm just lying down a little."

"Just one letter!", Loki looked a little bit furious now, Tony did not understand. "One letter for one second, one blimp. Might aswell~"

The god let himself tumble down next to him and together they watched the leaves sway and rustle, the wind warm on their skin. _A tiny piece of_ _Bliss._

A hand held his, it was probably Loki's, but you could never be sure, so he looked. It was Loki's.  
They slep together then. At least Tony thought that's what it was. They didn't move or touch, except for the hand he was holding in his, and none of them really did anything, but they came nonetheless and it was nice, very nice.

"That was weird."

"It's your dream, not mine."

"Fourth wall, Loki!"

"They will hurt me, you know. It's written, up there. It's all written down."

"I'm sorry. Will I be there?"

A laugh, a sad one.

"No, you will be dust."

"Oh."

"Maybe you will be there. Somewhere, some remnants of..."

"You will bring my dust? That's... sentimental."

"I might bring but a thought with me, to that place."

"That's sentimental."

"No, that's hurtful. A thought of dust."

"So it matters?"

"Do you know what it feels like, to be eternal?"

"Stretched?"

"Forever."

Then, silence.

"What choice do I have? Forget what matters or hurtful memory. It is too cruel."

* * *

Tony awoke, and the first thing he saw was the painted metal oft his cabin's ceiling. Harsh.

_Forcing yourself onto me was cruel, killing me was cruel, betrayal was cruel._

Remnants.

He shivered at the sudden cold, remembered it was winter. The rustling of leaves was still so close, he felt as if he could hear it, if he just tried hard enough, but he was not granted the chance to try.

Cap knocked, polite little soldier, but proceeded to open the door with a forceful push anyway. One that send a gust of harsh, ice-cold wind towards Tony.

"I'm awake, thanks. Very much so. And freezing, no need to pull your little military waky-waky routine."

"Grumpy, hm?"

Then Steve seemed to remember the last few weeks and decided to shut up.

"Lemme guess... Fury, bridge.. important..?"

"Exactly. How long?"

"I'ma be right there, hold on."

It took him five minutes. The sooner he got moving the better, the helicarrier was drafty as hell.  
As he reached the bridge all eyes turned. Fury, Cap, Thor, Agent Hill and, to Tony's relief, Natasha were there.  
She looked groggy, determination to not let it show apparent in the tightness of her face.  
When he hurried towards the small group and pulled her into a crushing hug, however, she relaxed and hugged him back.

 _It's not your fault_ , that hug said, and it meant so much.  
Neither of them said anything, one look was enough to know everything left unsaid. _Kinship._ Not something Tony was used to.

"Now that we're all here, let's discuss the plan.", Fury had no time for sentimentality, of course not.

Tony disentangled himself from Natasha, but he stayed close. They could both use the moral support now.

"We have a plan yet?", he asked. Had they started without him? Not unlikely.

"No. What we do have is a vague idea of how things might work, but we needed you to work out the details."

"Okay, shoot."

"You probably remember that little trap we set for Loki, right after the Chitauri?"

_The magic-disturbance field thingy, right._

"Yes, I do."

He remembered the relief on Loki's face as Tony had been wheeled out, looking like hell, but alive. He remembered the hurt in the man's eyes, when he had realized he had been caught. The agony, as he had tried to teleport, and last but not least, the way he had, without the slightest hint of hesitation, saved the two traitors that had freed him.  
 _He had also killled one of the two later,_ his mind supplied. Sadist.

"Well, if we could manage to replicate the wave length and exact energy signature we used on that and make it work at Stark Tower, we might have a shot at pinning him there. We don't have enough data to be entirely sure, but the one time we tried it it had worked out alright, so... Unless someone decides to shoot at the energy distributors again, we should be fine. Question is, if that fancy tower of yours can create the thing we need and if it can do so through your AI, remote controlled. If not, we might have to get you back in there, and I don't like the thought of that."

Cap stepped beside him and added: "No one likes the thought of that."  
Feeling like he dodged a bullet, Tony got his mind to thinking mode. A good mode for his mind to be in right now.

"The tower is powered entirely by the arc reactor. So we had to rethink everything. Heating, light. There actually are energy distributors inside of the walls, we use them for heating but they can do far more than that. Indirect lighting, for example. The wavelength can be altered and light in any colour can be easily created. I would need to have a look at what you have done to block his teleportation there, and maybe find out what else it does. I mean. It would be good to know if he would just be forced to stay put or if he will be completely unable to cast any magic. So, yeah. I would probably need to see your work to see how I could integrate it into my tower, and if it's anything that could be done through JARVIS."

He did a spin, the promise of work finally driving some fire back into his frozen bones.

"Is Banner around? He might be able to help us, energy and all.. that's sort of his thing."

Fury just shook his head.

"We're going to have to do this without him. I thought it best to let him get back to India after what transpired on here."

Tony just frowned at that. Things would never have gotten this out of control if Fury hadn't chosen to play spy-master.  
It couldn't be helped now. He would have to do this on his own, like he always had.

"I'll figure something out then, have the files accessible and make sure no one comes poking at me in the lab, yeah?"

He was already on his way when he heard Fury's grumbled sounds of consent.  
Work, lots of it. Just what he needed.  
If only there weren't that immortal involved, whom he wanted to get out of his head once and for all. Nothing as much as that.

_"Do you know what it feels like, to be eternal?"_

* * *

To say that Loki was in mourning would be an overstatement.  
To say that he regretted how things had gone down, more likely.  
Sure, he would have liked Tony to stay, would have liked him to understand why he did what he did. But after all, he had always known how things would change once the mortal realised what was truly happening.

_Might aswell have my fun with it._

Maybe, if he _hadn't had his fun_ , maybe, if there was no corpse in the other room... But who cared, in the end. Now it was only him, the harness completed, and the Tesseract soon to lower her defenses. He couldn't wait for the moment, the power.

Like fireworks, some things are just bound to vanish, that does not lessen their beauty, did it?  
So Loki chose to abandon all thoughts of the pleasant little spark he had had and focus on the situation at hand, the so called big picture.

She was more talkative than usual today. Almost as if she sensed the changes in the atmosphere. Well, of course she did, the cube was a sentient being after all.  
Loki grew tired of their wordless banter, but it wouldn't do to let it show.

He saw the entry-point before him, the gateway into infinite energy, channelled by the Vindicator's Hand. He saw more gateways, still inaccessible to him. It mattered little, all he needed was the one. He could not help but notice the number of points, though. Eight. Including his own, that made for nine. Nine realms, that was the obvious conclusion. Loki did not like the obvious, so he kept arguing.

He had the access, it all worked. He felt it work! So why wasn't there any energy? Any power? Nothing came through, no matter how hard or how delicately he pulled at her. She would not give a thing.

The simple touch of his mind's fingertips on the doorway to _everything_ he had craved for so long had been ecstatic. Why, why did it end here? It made no sense and frustrated him more than he cared to admit. He knew he had to be patient, careful. If she came to dislike him the outcome might be very unfortunate. For him and New York.

So he turned around and walked away. He would return later, to argue, to bargain, to plead.

He entered the lounge with a purposeful strut and threw himself onto the couch.  
Beside him the dark leather was still stained with Tony's release, so he lifted his hand to wipe it away, only to stop and smile. Sentiment came in weird shapes sometimes.  
The body was still propped up in the chair, the Hawk's blue eyes looked nearly as dead as they had had, when the man had been under his control.  
They did not portray any emotion, no fear, no hatred, not even recognition of Loki's change. The last one had a particularly enraging quality to it.  
He would have liked to see the horror, the dying of a smile on the man's face, but no such luck.

Did he hate the man before him? Not truly. He hadn't liked him either, one could say he had been indifferent.  
Enough so, to use him for his tiny display of power. _Fun_. Well, sort of. He had just needed that, after such a long time spent holding fleshy, warm hands and cooing meaningless little nothings into Tony's ear. Enjoyable as it had been from time to time, the beast inside wanted to be fed.  
 _Maybe, if I had been more honest from the beginning_... admit to the monster he was while staying civil as much as possible, maybe it wouldn't have come to this, but the process of gaining their trust had relied on him being their friendly neighborhood Trickster God, safe to be around, safe to scold, when he was bad. Yes, it would have taken them years to gain the sort of trust he needed, and they would have very likely run out on him at some point. Mortals did not like to feel power above their own. The hero's knew that all too well, people just loved to see them tumble down into the mud at their feet like the pathetic little mortals they all were, in the end.

Still, no matter how much he pondered over irrelevant possibilitis and alternatives and could-have-beens, he could not help but notice the one thing: it had been nice having them around. It hadn't been like the company he was used to, with Thor and the Warrior's Three, as little as he liked to think back on that. This had been less of a struggle, it had come so naturally.  
Clint was still looking at him with his dead eyes, mouth slightly open and lopsided. Loki could not stand it.  
Every molecule in the space surrounding him seemed to be set on irritating him today. Frustrating him to his wit's end. So he got up and paced a while.

Snow was still falling outside and he did not dare to look down. He hadn't looked. Not even once. Maybe the stain would be covered by now? He knew the beauty of blood on freshly fallen snow, but what about snow on freshly shed blood? Would it be soaked from underneath, layer by layer, until the snow got thick enough? Would it be the sickening pink of cut flesh, would the harsh scent of ice swallow the smell of iron in the air? Had they removed his body by now? They must have. They never liked seeing bodies, never liked being reminded of their mortality. How these people could properly mourn a death, he would never know. The only thing they ever seemed to miss were the merits that person had offered. Selfish.  
If Thor died, Loki would mourn. He knew that. He did not know, if he was currently mourning Tony, it certainly felt... sad. But the flashes of thoughts that tormented his mind where those of selfish need, and he had chosen to abandon weakness of that kind. He did not need it, could not afford to need it. He had an eternity to survive, how could he stop to think on fleeting bliss, now taken from him by his very own hands. A corward's kill, a push. He should have twisted his neck or strangled him. This way, there was too much room for questions. Had he really wanted the other dead, was he too weak, to see him dead by his own hands, and so on.  
He already knew the answer and despised the question all the more.  
 _If I can't have you, no one will._  
And he had lost the man the second he had revealed his power, he knew. It had been in that kiss, all the truth his mind had hidden, but deep inside he had always known the other could never love him. And it hurt his heart as much as it did his pride, and hurt pride was not something he got over easily.

Yes, yes. He knew all this. There was no use tormenting himself further.  
He found he was incapable of truly mourning the man, all he did was _miss_ him and that was a lot worse.

Tesseract! He needed to work, make it function.

He focussed on the other dots, the other gateways, and found them to each be so very unique. Their tastes and hues reminded him instantly, he felt the essence of all the realms. So it was true, those were the nine realms and she was accessible from each of them. Interesting, certainly. But why?

It was then, that he decided to take a step back.

She was irritating, she was moody, she liked to speak in riddles and as much as those qualities appealed to him on some level, it did not make for a good working environment.  
He mentally leaned back, tried to relax the stance he had been in, tense and rigid with concentration.  
For once, he was silent. And she talked.

The Tesseract was prone to adopt her wielder's personality and behavior, that much was known. What hadn't been, was the amount of control she held over her assimilation.  
Apparently, she had developed her own mind very early. There were no traces of the Red Skull or Loki or any other being he knew in her, which was an incredible feat, assuming it were only the most powerful that had held her before him.

"So, choices...", he prompted and she complied, for once. She told him of all the bad she has seen, all the evil and power-hungry, and she could not help but question her part in all of it. Because apparently, power is bad. Apparently, she was power. So the conclusion that had to be drawn was, that she's bad. Thing was, she did not want to be.

Loki listened, growing more restless with every passing minute.

"Nine Realms, then.", again, his impatient nudge in the desired direction proved successful. _War_ , she complained, was a natural state. There were truces as brittle as frozen leaves and more likely to breed animosity than vanquish it, then there was open hostility and peaceful dependency with no love lost between the parties involved. All in all, she did not like it.  
Loki began to fear the direction this was taking. "So, then?"  
He could have sworn she laughed at him right now.

**_"Peace is a great prize, but if it is power they want, peace might aswell give them power, too."_ **

He flinched. She had never talked this clearly, vague flashes and associations was all he had gotten before, and now this.  
He knew, that was all he would get. It would not get clearer than this.  
 _Peace._ The Tesseract as an instrument to create peace? Between the Nine Realms? He thought of gateways, thought of artefacts and suddenly it all made sense. He thought of the combined effort of magic and midgardian technology it had taken, to finish the harness. What, if there are still parts missing? Dwarven craftmanship? Elven finesse? Asgardian enchantments? But not only that. The harness worked, in a way. Maybe not to its full potential, but it did work.  
Power, though, not accessible by one, even though he had all the ingredients at hand. What he needed were the other gateways, manned by men from the respective worlds. The energy... it would only flow, if it was asked to by them all.

A prize. A bloody prize, the big win, if they ever achieved the _unachievable_.

And there she was, dangling unlimited power in front of his nose and talking of world peace... and that was when he cracked.

Frozen fingers clenched arond the eerie blue glow as he ripped her out and stormed back into the lounge. His eyes were bloodred with rage as he threw her out of the hole Tony's body had left in the large window front and he _really_ couldn't care less what SHE would look like when she landed. Unscathed, most likely. Which is why he did not wish to see it. He wanted her destroyed, dead, gone. That bitch... how dared she...  
He whirled around a couple of times, in desperate need of a new _idea_ , a new _plan_ , a new _purpose_ , as the old one had been taken from him, again.

His eyes fell on the cold and stiff body of Clint Barton, and he laughed.


	21. Possibilities

Endings are hard.  
It's especially hurtful to watch helplessly, as the line is cut and all possibilities are diminished before one's very eyes.  
At the same time there are always these thoughts, imagining alternative endings, better endings. What if this, what if that. _What if I hadn't-_  
It was in vain, after all. But the human mind could not help but think on it anyway.

The only thing more hurtful than being helpless in the face of an imminent end, was bringing it about oneself.  
As Tony was pacing around his makeshift workshop he was doing just this.  
He knew he did, yet his heart still claimed that he hadn't been the one to, Loki had been. Loki had ended it the second he had betrayed him.  
There were still a few hours left, though. The end was near, but all those sweet, taunting possibilities still lay before him.  
Forbidden as they were, he could not help but imagine.  
He had strayed from the path of heroes before, what if he could again?  
Why not?  
 _Because he killed Clint, because he nearly killed you._  
Why, oh why was there still this need in him, this deep love and longing for that madman.  
As many unhealthy obsessions as he had had in his life, this one took the cake for sure.  
This naive illusion that he could heal Loki, make him better, make him happy, was too much to bear.  
Reason would not help him now, he knew, so he allowed these little thoughts as he worked to destroy the man that had hurt him so much, to put an end to the story he had been caught in.

The heart-to-heart he had shared with Thor the night before was still on his mind. Had he been happy?  
Had this been an illusion on Thor's part? Much like his own, that Loki could be good, could be loving and happy? If it hadn't been for the Tesseract-  
If they took that away from him, this poisonous device.  
Tony remembered the eerie glow in Loki's eyes shortly before the change, as he had reached out towards the Tesseract's energy. It had looked like Clint. Posessed.  
What if-  
Oh, it would be so simple. All evil in Loki blamed on the god-forsaken energy source, his lover nothing but drunk on its power.  
If they took that away, got him off of its influence.. he might be good. Good and happy.

The dream really didn't help much.  
 _Do you know what it feels like, to be eternal?_  
Loki had still had this oldness about him, in the dream. But it was of another kind, than what he had felt back in the tower.  
It had been the age of nature itself, wise and calm and in deep sorrow and suffering.  
This being had been scared. Frightened of a cruel fate, overwhelmed by the greatness of it all, the greatness, that had to be expected of an immortal.  
If he could only bring him down from this, make him stay in this small life, just for a while.  
What was Loki without his glorious purpose, this mean drive that pushed him forward. Was it the way he had been raised? Raised to be a king, to rule the golden realm of Asgard. How do you recover from that? Live little, find happiness in the small things? Well, he guessed one just didn't.  
He knew the pressure. It had been laid on him from childhood on. As little as his own father might have expected from him, the footsteps he followed had been huge.  
He had to justify so much. Fight for his right of idle joy every now and then, and it had still made him the man he was today. Driven, too, to achieve greatness.  
Did he know the feeling of eternity? No. But did it make it any better, to know that he only had limited time to achieve the things expected from him? Not likely.  
If he could just talk to the guy, make him listen.  
Maybe, maybe after they had caught him. He needed to protect him from Fury, maybe with Thor's help he would be able to.  
Perhaps the punishment in Asgard would help, depending on the nature of it. Thor had been made mortal once, but he doubted such a merciful fate awaited Loki. After all, Thor had always been the favoured one, and Loki's crimes exceeded Thor's by light-years, as far as Tony had heard.  
Well, there were possibilities.  
That much he knew.  
While his mind was busy preparing for a possible end to all of this, tried to declare Loki lost once and for all, Tony's heart nurtured ideas and notions of a possible future, one _reason_ would never allow to exist.

His work went along great anyway.  
The signature would be producable by the energy distributors in the tower, more accurately even, than S.H.I.E.L.D technology had been able to.  
It would hold Loki.  
Unwelcome memories flashed before his eyes, no use.  
No matter what sweet possibilities his heart managed to produce, a romantic killing spree was never among them, something had to be changed, if any of his scenarios should have any chance to come to fruition.  
All the magic/technological-studies the two of them had had finally payed off now. The shield should be able to supress all magic, unless he had something entirely different up his sleeve. Well, apart from super-human power, that is.

At some point time had started to fly. It was only afternoon when he was able to present his team mates with a plan, a plan, he had figured out while working on the energy signature, accessed JARVIS to remotely ready the distributors and wallowed in his little possibilities.  
He couldn't help but applaud his multi-tasking abilities.

Speed really picked up then. Suddenly he was in his suit again, up in the air, and the realisation, that he was going to meet Loki again, finally hit.  
Would he be expecting him? All cameras had been interfered with magically, at least something Loki had learned. There was no way of knowing what awaited them. Would he stand there, behind the broken window front, in his usual stance.  
 _So we meet again, Mr. Stark._  
He might be kneeling in front of the Tesseract, or shouting at it. He might have left, too.  
That was a possibility no one had even thought of. What if he had changed locality? Again?  
Well, too late to think about it now.  
Tony activated the makeshift cage as they were one minute shy of reaching the tower.  
He half-expected an enraged howl or something of the like to sound through all of New York, but no reaction could be heard or seen.

It wasn't until the distinct shape of his tower came into view, that he realised how little a plan he had.  
Scratch that. How little conviction he had, to actually follow the plan he had fed his team mates.  
His stomach got queasy, then. Uncertainty shouldn't have that big an influence, should it? Well, the fact that his feet touched down on the balcony reminded him, that a final decision would be nice now. He still told himself, that the decision would be made the moment he saw Loki and everything he decided before that would mean nothing anyway.  
All he saw right now was a dark form in the back of the lounge, a shadow. But that was all he needed to see, really. _Loki was there._

Tony did not think much at that moment. He realized that his feet had left solid ground again. Seems like he had been right, his decision hat been made for him. No matter what reasoning his mind might have provided, he wouldn't have acted differently, he knew. So why bother?  
His flight brought him to and through the workshop window, but the sight that greeted him was not what he had expected.  
The harness was a mess, wires stood in all directions and Tony only needed one glance to realize, that its heart was missing.  
Ripped out, violently, by the looks of it.  
"Mute.", he said and the panicked chatter of the comm was silenced instantly. He didn't need to hear what they did, what they saw, he needed to be there.  
Whatever Loki had done, he needed to know.  
His mind provided several scenarios, one of which was the one he had thought to bring about himself.  
Loki, freed from the Tesseract's bad influence, all better now.  
Even he knew it wasn't going to be this easy, but it didn't hurt to believe, for once, did it?  
His suit took him to the lounge automatically. He couldn't tell if he had actually moved a single muscle himself, if he had even given the order to move.  
Little did it matter anyway.  
Voices sounded harsh and shrill in his ears, muffled by several layers of concrete.

As he entered the lounge his heart stopped. Not much had happened, apparently. Outside Tasha and Cap were jumping out of the quinjet. Thor was standing several meters distance to Loki, who was still sitting on the couch, as relaxed as could be.  
Had he noticed the cage he was in? One couldn't tell.  
A grin was plastered across his face. Not the mad grin that spoke of sadistic pleasure, this was a genuinely amused one, it seemed.  
His brother stood and stared in horror, eyes wandering back and forth between Loki and the corpse.

None of them had payed any mind to Tony, who intended to change that.

"Where is the Tesseract?"

The smile on the god's face broadened and he laughed. The bone-chilling sound rang hollow in the way too big room.

"Where is it?!"

He had been optimistic, but with the current state of mind Loki seemed to be in, you never knew. The cube might be back in his pocket dimension or god-knows where.  
The laughter died, the grin didn't. None of it reached his eyes. No matter how high the corners of his mouth rose, those eyes stared right through him, glass-like.

"I-... I've lost it, I fear."

He giggled, more to himself.  
Whether he referred to the Tesseract or his own sanity, Tony couldn't tell, but it scared the hell out of him anyway.  
He did not waste time with complex movements like walking, a quick boost took him right across the room and towards Loki, whom he tackled and threw off the couch. They went down in a heap, but the god wouldn't fight. Tony simply had to grab him, held him at arm's length and desperately looked for any sign of reason, of awareness.  
Loki gave him nothing. Dead eyes and a madly distorted smile.

"Talk to me, what happened?"

Desperation shook his voice, irrelevant if the sentence was coherent or not, he didn't get any sort of reaction.  
Then Thor was there, knelt down by their side, a hand firm on his brother's shoulder.

"Loki, please! Talk to me, explain to me!"

He wouldn't. But he did open his mouth to utter the last words they should hear from him in some time.

"I'm done, I give up. This was-", mad laughter swallowed whatever else he might have planned to say. There was no trace of sadness, of defeat.

There was nothing, nothing left but a madman's mask.

And this was how he was taken into custody by S.H.I.E.L.D.  
This was how he was held captive and this was how he was taken back to Asgard after a decent amount of negotiations.  
A silent, empty, laughing god.

* * *

Everyone was there that day.  
Blue sky seemed to be mocking the sullen atmosphere that hung heavy around them.  
Tony felt like wearing black, nothing but black. But the little bit of spite that would always be part of him had him choosing a lightly coloured, so very casual suit topped off by sunglasses.  
The coloured kind, not the one to actually hide behind.  
Now he wished he had chosen black. Maybe a last display of sorrow in face of Loki's fall might just be the thing to move the god, get him to react in any way.  
It wouldn't have been, of course. He knew that. It hadn't been before, it wouldn't have been now. Nothing could get any reasonable reaction out of Loki. It seemed like his whole being had been replaced by the mask he had liked to hide behind too much. Was there something left behind it? Who knew. All he did know was that it was probably impossible to see his recovery, if there would ever be one, within his own limited life span.  
So why bother.  
Why bother.

He had tried it all. Had broken into the cell, held Loki, kissed Loki. Nothing. The god hadn't pulled away, hadn't responded. Tony had been on the brink of insanity himself, when Thor had finally gotten the OK to take his brother home.  
Home, far away.  
That would settle things for Tony. It would hurt, it would drive him mad, it would be alright, eventually.  
He only had to live through this, and then he would be free. Free, free, free.

There he was. Dressed in his usual asgardian clothes, a muzzle hiding that god-awful grin of his, eyes glass-like and unseeing.  
Not even the recovered Tesseract was worth a fleeting glance.  
He gripped the handle as Thor prompted him to, the movement more automatic than anything.  
And then they were gone.

And Tony smiled an easy smile, as fingernails drew blood in tightly closed fists.

It was truly over.

 

**The end.**


End file.
